Leah
by Lewia
Summary: Leah is leaving La Push to begin a new life. But she can't leave it all behind... So here's the story about the only female werewolf in existence so far. A story about life and love, taking place mostly on Hawaii.
1. Meeting

_I finally got around to writing a fanfiction. Well, at least the beginning. I hope you enjoy Leah's ways as I put them up until now._

_My story begins about two years after the ending of Breaking Dawn. It's Leah Clearwaters Point of View._

Note: Most of the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I do not own them. I only borrowed them and will return them preferably unharmed ;)

I invented a few additional characters, though, same goes for every aspect of the characters that wasn't mentioned in the series.

**Chapter 1 - Meeting**

_Gotcha, _I thought towards Seth while I ran past him effortlessly.

I felt Seth's competitive senses rising. He sped up to catch me, but still, I was the fastest of our pack.

_Look who's speaking of _our_ pack again_., I heard Jacob joining our unspoken conversation.

_Hey, Alpha!_, I greeted, not actually solemn, but not mocking, either.

_It's been a while since we've heard you here, Jacob. You could honestly walk away from your coven?_, I teased him.

I felt he was not thoroughly at ease with being away from the subject of his imprint, Renesmee. I tried to conceal every rude comment that could upset him, not wanting our Alpha to leave so soon after he'd actually made it so close to home. But still... the fur on my neck stood on end when I tried to imagine to live in a house full of eight and a half vampires...

Jacob sighed at my thought. He gave no reply, but I could see different emotions flying through his mind. Disgust, even rage, especially about Blondie, but on the other side... this strange adoration, devotion, when it came to that half-vampire child.

Jacob pushed the thoughts aside. _Anyway, Leah._

_It's okay. Guess I'll never understand those imprinted people. _I sniffed, and a bitter edge crept into my thoughts. _I've had quite enough of that crap!_

Jacob growled. _Don't you start that again, Leah. Please..._

I knew what he meant. And I tried, I really tried. But how could I keep my broken heart to myself when it was core to who I was?

I closed my eyes for a second, concentrated to push it back into the recesses of my brain. There was one way to prove that I'd be good. _Hey Jake, up to a run? I bet I'll beat ya to the meeting place!_, I challenged as cheerful as I could, and stretched my legs in the same instant. Jacob rolled his mind's eye, but he raced, too. Maybe just out of fear I'd touch the subject again.

_Ha, _he thought_. Don't you think you're the only one who enjoys a good run. Speed rush is a common experience._

I gave no reply, instead, I all but doubled my speed.

_Show-off_, Seth grinned behind me. I ignored my brother and headed for the small clearing in the familiar forest. I saw Jacob a few yards away in the underbrush, at full speed, while the others didn't have the aspiration to beat me.

I rushed into the clearing just an instant before Jacob made it there. I turned my head and gave him a smug wolfy smile. He rolled his eyes. Automatically, I took my place at his right side, where the second-in-command belonged. It was something big... but it wasn't the only advantage of being in Jacob's pack rather than in Sam's... I stopped that thought cold.

I knew Jacob was annoyed with my endless grief and the lamentations in my head – but still. _He_ was happy now, he'd been healed from the heartache this Bella had caused him... while I still fought against my unhappy ending with... Sam.

_Stop that..._

_I try. You know._

_Yeah. Still..._

_Fighting again, guys_?, Embry thought. Quil was running right next to him, out of my sight, but I could hear him through Embry's ears. I snarled.

_Kidding, Leah!_, he responded to my objection. Why did the only female wolf have to be discriminated by being adressed as a guy? Wasn't it enough that I had to fight and that I had no one to share my female stuff or did the tiniest bit understand me?

Seth entered the clearing, fast, but in no hurry. Or at least he pretended he wasn't annoyed I'd beat him again. I could hear Quil and Embry approaching, Quil's thoughts filled with the thrill of running, the excitement didn't wear out even years after he'd first become a werewolf.

Well, I'd never been so overexcited. It was mostly the speed that compensated the drawbacks. Never completely, of course.

Jacob ignored the direction my thoughts were taking – again – and greeted the three other wolves as they entered the clearing. Quil and Embry sat down next to Seth. Everyone looked at Jacob.

_You expect me to make a formal speech?, _he asked._ You know everything already, I suppose. I could give you an update about the Cullens, but... I doubt anyone besides Seth would be interested._

Seth looked up_. You know I am. They found another place?_

_About fivehundred miles from here. In Kanada. Only for the next few years, probably._

_Good thing our thought connection reaches that far., _Embry thought._ Otherwise, I'd truly miss you, Bro._

_Yeh. I know._

_I understand, Jake._, Quil put in. In his head, memories of Claire flashed up. I rolled my eyes. Were we getting that again? _Quil, keep your babysitting faible to yourself._

Jacob looked at me from the corner of his eye. _Yeah, you're sure the right one to say that._

_Okay, aside from that. What's new in La Push?_, Jacob questioned and looked at his friends and my brother. _Besides Claire, please... _

Embry shook his fur. _Nothing too scandalous. Billy misses you, you might have guessed. Collin imprinted. Well... I say I'm really glad I'm not in his head. The girl is... not quite comfortable with the truth about him. Scared her to death when she saw Collin as a big wolf. He's having a hard time trying to make her believe he is still human in a way..._

_It will turn out right, in the end._, Quil confided._ No one can resist that..._

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes._ Cut that crap, Quil. I know you imprinted wolves are all optimistic... the world is just rosy and perfect._

_We only want her to be happy and safe. That's what matters._, Jacob chimed in. It was so unlike his usual, or, well, his former self when I saw that glowing in his eyes. He was head over heels for that girl. Or... stronger than that.

Seth decided he'd had enough of that subject. He jumped agilely to his feet and looked at each of our faces. _Don't we patrol today?_

_My little brother, the dutiful tribe protector._, I smiled. There still was a bit of pride between the mockery. In my book, he took it a bit too serious, now that the bloodsuckers had left the place. The only reminder was the big white house that still reeked of vampires – and their personal guard dog.

_Right._, Jacob agreed. I think it was more in response to Seth's question than to my thoughts.

_Let's do Sam a favor and check the outer perimeter. And after... I think I'll phase and visit my father. He'll be thrilled to see me again so close after the wedding._

Did he have to bring _that_ up?

I'd done my best. But in the end, I had to duck out. I couldn't bear to be a bridesmaid at Sam's... wedding. I was not capable of that. Sure, Emily was my cousin, but that changed nothing. Maybe I was a chicken, but I had not dared to even attend the ceremony. I'd send Sam and Emily a congratulations card. That's all I could do.

_Hey, Jacob, it was you who brought this up_., I reminded him before he could put his slight irritation into coherent thoughts.

Sharing a pack mind was not easy. Everything was laid out for all to see. Everything. At least it annoyed them as much as it annoyed me. I wished there was a way to hide the thoughts that I didn't want to share nor that anyone wanted to hear, like Sam and Jacob as alpha wolves could. No deal. Quileute heritage. Designed for the Quileute's _sons_... and the odd freak I was for some reason.

_Head in the game, Leah. We'll meet on the other side._

A smug thought came to my mind as I remembered a conversation years back when this pack was started. Jacob had given me that much – I was less annoying than Paul, who happened to imprint on Jacob's sister Rachel. The thought slipped out before I could hold it back. _Be glad you're running with me now... When you get to Billy's, you'll soon enough encounter Paul._

_Cut it out, Leah. Run before I bite off your furry ears._, Jacob growled at me.

_Oh, charming. As if you had a prayer of catching me._

And I was flying, my paws barely touching ground as I ran the perimeter. Even with my nose to the ground to catch every scent that could be an important information, I was still faster than Jacob or any of the others. They spread out in different directions to cover a big territory while we ran patrol.

I let the wind blow every thought from my head and just give myself to my running. It was easier to forget my human problems while I ran.

_Okay, that's it. I'm phasing._, Jacob announced.

_Bye, Jake._, three voices echoed in my head.

_Bye, Jacob. It was... sort of nice you came for a visit._, I admitted.

_That was the point. Irresponsible to let my pack roam around like abandoned dogs._

_Yeah, like I'm needing a babysitter. I'm three years older than you, kid._

Jacob smirked, at least that was what he tried to do. Human mimics didn't always come out right on a wolf's face. I scowled as he remembered a situation where he'd truly saved me. Well... I could have finished that newborn bloodsucker. If he hadn't jumped in and got all the glory. And all the broken bones, but what did that matter?

_Leah, you know what?_, he suddenly laughed in thoughts. _What?_

_You are even less annoying than Blondie. Arguing with you is more fun._

_Oh, thank you._, I replied. _How nice to be appreciated._

_You're welcome._

He prodded his nose to my flank in comradeship, then he darted off into the shelter of the trees to phase. _Bye, beta._

Jacob could _really_ be nice. I smiled to myself and trod off into the opposite direction. Nice or not nice, I preferred phasing away from his view.

It was nice to walk on two legs – not as fast, sure, but the best thing about it was my private head. Of course, there was no hold up now for my thoughts. That was good because nobody tried to shame me for feeling the way I did, but bad because no one kept me from getting lost in these thoughts.

I walked the mile from the forest to my home slowly. Luckily, Seth was still running with Quil and Embry, so I didn't have to walk with my always-cheerful younger brother.

The best thing about being in Jacob's pack, though I was a bit ashamed that it slipped out into Jacob's attention, was to be away from Sam's thoughts. Though it hurt just as bad not to see him at all, like I'd be missing a part of me, it was still better than facing Sam's mind. He couldn't and wouldn't conceal his love and adoration for Emily. Every touch, every kiss that crossed his mind with me having to hear it was like a blow right in the face. He knew that, he could _feel_ it in my head, he felt terribly guilty, but that made it so much worse. I'd told him that, not only in my thoughts, but even in human form, in spoken words.

When Jacob had walked away from Sam, taken his place as the true alpha, I'd grasped the only way to escape at least _that_ part of the pain.

Though joining Jacob of all things was not a choice I'd have made if the other options would have been the tiniest bit less painful.

Well, Jacob and I made things up, after all. A healthy piece of mockery stayed between us, but at least we ran at the same frequency. And we _tried_ not to annoy each other too much. At least... sometimes.


	2. Quitting

**Chapter 2 - Quitting**

When I came home, all lights were out. There was a note on the kitchen counter.

"I'm at Charlie's. Love you, Mum."

Sure she would be with Charlie. Plenty of happy couples here...

I was glad for her that she got along with her life after Dad passed away three years ago. I knew she'd loved Dad, and I thought she really deserved to be happy despite the loss.

I warmed yesterday's lunch in the microwave – the drawbacks of having my mum cook for Charlie instead for her kids.

_Move on, Leah._, I told myself. I was twenty-two, for crying out loud. I should go to college. Live a normal life. Find a man and have kids, not this year, but still... this was creepy. It was going against the grain. I felt not female at all. Menopausal at twenty-two. And no way of knowing if it would ever turn back to normal, even if I would some day be able to control my temper and quit my wolf's existence. I wanted to be human, for heaven's sake. Not some supernatural creature that fought secretly against other disgusting monsters. That was cool for the boys – I rolled my eyes as I thought of Seth's excitement, but what cruel joke was turning _me_ into a werewolf?

All I wanted was to be a normal woman, have my period back and start aging again.

I felt the anger about fate's unfair treatment shake my body. I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing slowly and evenly, to calm down. I would not turn into my wolf self right in the kitchen. No... not now... I could do this.

It was an effort that made me doubt if I could ever do this, but eventually, the shaking stopped. I pulled my plate from the microwave and sat down to eat, only to be interrupted by Seth bursting through the door like a savage. Well. He looked like a savage, too.

"Aw, that smells good. You saved me some?", he said, not even halfway through the hall. I glanced up at him. "Mum's not home yet. Help yourself, it's in the fridge."

"She's with the vampire dad, right?" I rolled my eyes at how he made 'vampire' sound like it was a good thing. "Yeah... guess he rather hangs around with Sue than with a bunch of creepy bloodsuckers or eerie wolves." Seth looked like he wanted to say something, but then he dropped it. It was kind of weird how we were both siblings and pack members. Comrades in arms... how the boys would make it sound.

It bothered me how I saw things from their perspective, as I was forced to share their thoughts. Their point of view made sense, but it was so odd to watch the world from their eyes. I wanted to be female, and that was not a good way to start.

"It's weird how the Cullen's scents grow fainter each day. Can you imagine they'll disappear altogether one day? It's strange to grasp they're really gone..."

"Oh yeah.", I muttered. "Such a shame to lose the delicious scent that makes me want to rip their throats out everytime I smell it." I knew that bothered Seth. He thought of them as _friends._ Ugh.

"What?", I asked provocatively. "It's a natural response. What you and Jacob are feeling for them is downright pathetic. Do you make friends with the fleas in your fur coat as well?"

"Aw, Leah." he punched my arm and I felt the urge to punch back. Stupid male reactions. Wasn't it enough that Jacob got into palpable quarrels with Paul at home?

"Back off, Seth."

He ignored me, but he took his plate now and dug in, so that provided silence, at least.

I put my plate in the sink and went up into my room, kicking the door shut behind me. I plunged down on my bed and curled up in a ball. My eyelids drooped and it didn't take long before I fell asleep. It was a relief for my body, tired from running all day. But my mind kept wandering, twisting my pain right into nightmares. The presence of Sam in my dreams was not that nightmarish, of course. If, on occasion, he was mine in such a dream, the pain jolted through me the moment I'd wake and feel the whole impact of reality.

Darn, why couldn't I live in a world where werewolves and similiar nonsense were confined in fairytale books? Or horror movies, maybe that was more appropriate.

But even horror movies had endings... maybe not happy endings, but still. My life, on the other hand, was stretched. I was frozen in time. At least until I would finally make it – escape the wolf-being. Turning my back on the supernatural world.

The more I thought about it, the more thrilling it got. I was already sick of La Push – not that I didn't like my people and my mum, but I needed to get out. Maybe, if I got far enough away, it would become easier to quit.

It came back to me when I woke up just before noon – my plans for emmigration, for travelling far away to a place where magic didn't have any impact on life.

Seth was already gone when I came down into the kitchen. My mum sat at the table reading a book. Well, as I approached, I noticed it was not really a book... it was a manual for a fishing sonar system. I could guess where she got it from and to what purpose she was reading it. I smiled at her, amused. She blushed slightly. "Harry was always fishing with him... and Billy's in the wheelchair, so I thought, at least I could go with him now and then..." I grinned. "Sure. Have fun."

I turned back and headed for my room. It dawned on me that I couldn't simply book a flight and take off into the sunset. Where was I going, and what would I do, anyway?

I hadn't dared to apply to a college right after graduation, what with my loose temper issues.

"Leah?", Mum called. I went downstairs where she held the phone out to me. "Rebecca.", she mouthed. I raised an eyebrow. Rebecca? Rebecca Black?

"Hello?"

"Hey, Lee. How are you?"

Definitely – Rebecca Black. Jacob's married sister from Hawaii. I hadn't seen her for years, since she'd left La Push. Besides – she wasn't Rebecca Black anymore, but Rebecca Hookano, if I remembered the Hawaiian name straight.

"Yeah... could be better, you know."

_I'm a werewolf just like all the guys at the reservation. I'm a freak. I want to get out of here, get a life, and I just don't have any idea how to do that._

"You sound like maybe it's the right time for a break."

I frowned. "What do you mean?", I asked, confused. She laughed. "Lee, I've got an offer for you. Mh... I'm not sure if you'll like it...", she trailed off.

"Spit it out." She paused again. "I was wondering... my husband and I need to travel from time to time. We'd love to have someone who takes care of the kids for a while..."

"Oh." They wanted me as a babysitter? "When?", I asked. Whether I wanted to babysit or not. It was a way out. I was so desperate I would take any chance, I realized with a shudder.

"When are you free to go?"

I shrugged. "There's no pressing issue here.. I think I can go anytime. Just have to book a flight."

"I'm not asking too much of you? You will be paid, of course."

"Sure, Becky. I'll... call you back as soon as I've arranged the flight and everything."

"Thank you, Lee. Really. I'm glad you'll come here. The kids will love you." "Bye, Becky." "Bye."

I hung up the phone and leaned to the wall. "Wow.", I breathed. Things were, once in a blue moon, working out just fine.

Mum furrowed her brow. I supposed she'd listened to my side of the conversation, though I hadn't paid attention to her. I went to sit at the kitchen table.

"Rebecca Black invited me to Hawaii to take care of her children." "Oh. Really?" "Yeah."

She was silent for a while. Then, she looked up to me. "You really want to quit?"

I knew she didn't mean La Push itself. I nodded slowly. "I do. I... I don't want it to take away my life!" I half-shrieked the last words. "I need to quit. I want to be... feminine again." Mum nodded. She understood. She was a woman, after all. But that wasn't enough to make me stay.

"Are you sure it's the right job for you, though? Children?" No. I didn't. But still... "I think babysitting is a quite feminine job."

Next instant, I thought of Quil and remembered his devotion to look after Claire, playing her games without ever getting bored with it. I frowned. So much for feminine. This werewolf crap was really prone to forward gender confusion.

Mum was not fooled, I knew. "But still, I want to try it.", I prompted. Mum didn't argue, she just stood and hugged me.

"I love you, Leah. You'll do the right things. Take your break." I hugged her back. "Love you too, Mum."


	3. A Farewell

**Chapter 3 – A farewell**

_This would be the last time that I would be running as a wolf._, I thought when I took my clothes off to phase. It seemed odd that the good-bye had an edge of solemnity. At least that irritated me enough that phasing was easy. The shaking intensified and I shimmered down as my wolf self.

_Leah!_, Seth greeted me.

_Hey, little brother._ I thought. I couldn't even be unfriendly with him today.

He caught up with my mood and flipped through my thoughts quickly. I didn't hide them, he'd know them soon enough.

Oh., he thought. This caught him off guard. He didn't think anything specifically. We just ran in silence.

We felt another awareness enter. _Hi, Jacob._, I greeted him. He was headed... home. Ugh. Home to his darling leeches. Jacob growled at me. _Sorry. _I hesitated before I shared my thoughts, or, at least, before I thought of it willingly. He thought it through as Seth had. He was surprised, and a bit annoyed.

_Hear, hear. Well, send her my kindest regards. Tell her how nice of her she never touches base with her family._

_Just like you, Jacob, don't you think?_

He growled again, but he could not hide that I'd hit a sore spot.

I used my usual distraction scheme. _Hey, this may well be my last run. Wanna see me beat you again?_

_You really want to race me to the vampire castle?_, he mused.

I shuddered. _Not really. But I want to race anyway._

_I got quite a head start, don't you think?_

_Don't mind._

I raced forward. Seth was elated – maybe more by the thought of racing to the _vampire castle_ than by running itself. I sped up and enjoyed once more the feel of the soil under my paws, the trees _woosh_ing by, the twigs of the underbrush brushing my flanks. My senses caught different scents. I let the air flood my lungs and felt the speed rush in every cell of my body.

The speed was exhilarating. But that was probably the only thing I would... miss. Huh. Odd, how there was anything I would actually miss from this werewolf mess.

Jacob was still running, not only for the competition of it, but more because he couldn't stand to stay away from the child too long. It's only been two days, and he was already dying from that longing. Imprinting was, from the insight I'd gotten from the ones beside Sam, quite a sensation. Everything was wonderful – as long as you were with your other half. As soon as you were away from her (...her, for crying out loud – I didn't even know if the counterpart existed for me. If there'd never been a female wolf before, how could I know the outlook?), you suffered. The yearning captured your mind completely... well, just like the way I still felt for Sam. Still. After all those years. It'd been three years now, almost four, since that... happened. Four years since this all began to go wrong. If not for these filthy bloodsuckers, I would be human, and Sam would...

_LEAH!_, Jacob threatened. _Whether that's your last official run or not, CUT IT OUT for heaven's sake!_

I sighed. _That's why I'm leaving, Jacob. Because I want to cut it out, but apparently, there is no way with all this to remind me of it and a pack mind that listens – however involuntary. You know I all but want to cut this whole thing out of my life completely._

Jacob's voice softened. _I know. And I am truly sorry you're hurting._ He swallowed. _I'm wishing you all luck you can get, Leah. _

I was surprised how earnest his words really sounded. _Thank you, Jacob..._ I trailed off in lack of words.

_Hey, what happened to your pride? Don't you wanna beat me?_, Jacob laughed, all himself again.

_Sure. Just you wait for me to outrun you. I guess I'll... just follow the scent._, I added sarcastically.

_I wanna be there, too!_, Seth thought from behind.

_Stretch your legs then, little brother._, I suggested.

The scent got stronger. I wrinkled my nose, but kept pushing myself forward. We were more than halfway there in what seemed like no time.

Jacob didn't control his thoughts the way he usually tried. Probably he was too distracted with looking forward to seeing _her_ again.

Since I had nothing better to think about, I shared his thoughts and just let them flood my mind.

Pictures...

_Renesmee running toward him, by now, she looked like she was eight or nine years old. He caught her and swung her in a circle. She giggled and put her hand to his cheek. She showed him what she'd been doing that morning. Her mum had taken her piggyback for a run through the forest. She loved the speed, too. Next, she compared that experience with running horseback with the huge russet wolf that was her best friend._

"_You wanna race with me again? Come on!" He was elated. While he was still holding her, he ran toward the door, stopping on the porch. He looked back at Renesmee's father, Edward. "She wants to take a wolf trip with me. May I? I promise I'll take care of her and have her back in the house before dusk.", he thought, knowing the vampire could hear. Edward nodded. Probably, he was not that elated, but a look into his daughter's face - and mind - told him this was what she liked, and he couldn't resist. _

_Carefully, Jacob set the girl on her feet, gently caressed her face and darted a few yards into the forest, where he phased and immediately ran back to Renesmee. She squealed in delight as he sat down before her with his muzzle open, looking at her with his head cocked to the side and his tongue hanging out at the corner of his mouth. She patted the head of the big wolf and pressed her head into his fur. He started purring like a cat. The girl climbed agilely onto his back, slung her arms around his neck and put her hand to his cheek. She wanted to run as fast as the wolf could do. And, imprinted-werewolf he was, Jacob could not argue that and took off._

This event was familiar. When Jacob was a wolf, we could hear his thoughts just fine even from La Push. We'd witnessed that a few times. The joy he radiated when he was close to Renesmee was almost tangible. And somewhat unbearable for those of us who were not as lucky.

Maybe imprint _was_ the only way for werewolves to achieve that kind of happiness.

Seth had thought about it sometimes. He'd tried to hide it from me, he felt self-conscious about it and feared I would mock him about it later. A justified fear, probably.

He wondered what it would be like... and he was curious. He _wanted _to imprint. He was eager for it.

Oh, well, maybe he would get lucky, but I _truly_ hoped I would be far, far away when that happened.

_Ha, ha. Funny, Leah._, Seth thought.

I was amazed how I could contemplate so many things without being distracted from my stride. I all but flew through the forest at the speed of light. Or so it felt. I laughed friskily to myself.

The stink was almost unbearable now as I thought about the race and it's destination again. The hair on my neck stood on end. I bared my teeth and growled.

_Hey. We're coming in peace, remember? This is not an attack._, Jacob cautioned.

_Of _course_ not, High Alpha. I just _love_ those leeches, you know., _I jeered. _Hey, seriously, Jacob, you know. I'd never touch them. For your sake, not theirs, needless to say. I... somehow value my crappy life at least that much._

_Good._

I was nose-to-nose with him now, though a few yards apart. Seth was trailing behind. He got faster, that kid. I stretched the lean, muscular wolf body and leaped forward. I could see the... castle. It was not really a castle, it was rather similiar to the Cullen's white mansion in Forks. Well... the bloodsuckers had some style, at least.

"May I? May I?" There was a high voice from the house, excited and edgy.

Jacob's body shot forward, from the glowing that filled his mind, it had to be his Renesmee. "Fine.", a bell voice rang.

"Oh, great. Our darling mongrel is back. I was so worried. I was just about to report him as missing. Put up posters. Alas! I just couldn't find a picture of him."

I could guess who that was. Jacob growled. I had to laugh at his thoughts of what he would say to her when he was human again.

I struggled with his new-found hurry and I really was half an inch before him when we darted out of the forest. Jacob jerked to a halt. I raced a few yards more until he reproved me.

_Give it a break. You're the winner._

_Cool. Now, that's enough for me._

_I know. Er... Leah, did you want to come in and say Hi or...?_

_Do good manners apply to vampires? Oh, well. Tell 'em I said Hi. I think I'll be out of here. Get some fresh air._

_Sure. Er...farewell, my sister. I'm... proud you've been in my pack. Good luck._

Before I could reply anything, we could see Renesmee dart out of the house, right toward Jacob. The red-brown wolf turned from an honorable Alpha into a pet dog. He barked as he jogged to meet her. She jumped toward him and threw her arms around his neck. "Jacob!", she exclaimed. "You're home!" He huffed joyfully.

For a moment, I was happy with him, then I told him _Good Bye_ and turned back into the forest.

I passed Seth, who seemed to be eager to stay a while at the vampire estate.

_Seth?_, I asked. He slowed and turned to look at me. _It's up to you whether you'll be back in time to wave me good-bye or if you stay with the...Cullen's. I'm just saying... it might be a while until we see each other again._

_Oh. Well. I'll try, 'kay?_

_'Kay. See you, bro. _I leaped off into the underbrush, heading for home. Not my home much longer. Back to La Push... why did all of this seemed like a bittersweet good-bye to me?

Behind me, I felt Jacob phasing and his awareness fading into silence. Seth followed shortly.

I enjoyed, if only for a short time, and the last time, to run as a wolf and still having a private head of my own.


	4. Welcome

**Chapter 4 - Welcome**

It was a feeling of superiority as I gazed out from the airplane window and watched as the world below me got smaller. For a moment I imagined how I could have saved the money by swimming the ocean in my wolf form. It couldn't be that far to Hawaii.

But, I thought, this would be going against what I was aiming at by this trip.

Seth had been home in time to escort me to the airport together with mum. Maybe she needed the support more than I did, what with her daughter leaving the house and flying off one fell swoop. It had come like a rush, truly.

I fell asleep after a while and missed a great deal of the flight. It was after dark when the plane landed. I stared out the window again. It was exciting and still kind of frightening to be here and to face this unknown task.

I stepped out onto solid ground and went through the whole post-landing-procedure in a daze.

When Rebecca came to pick me up, I all but fell into her arms with exhaustion.

She tugged me along with all my luggage. I must have dropped to sleep in her car, because I couldn't remember where I was when she shook me gently.

"Oh, Lee, let's get you to bed. I think you'll be better tomorrow." I perceived only a very small part of how she guided me out of the car and into the house. The next and last thing I felt before I crashed was being layed onto a soft mattress. For once, I slept dreamless.

I woke to the sound of children squealing and laughing, obviously running around all over the house. I still had my clothes on except for my shoes. I stood up and looked around me. The room was small, but in a tasteful design. Probably, this was where I would be staying, but I'd have to ask Rebecca for confirmation before I settled here. I turned to look out the window. It was on first floor and I could see forest as far as I could see. Well, that was perfect, in case...

I shuddered as it dawned upon me that in this society, failing to control my temper meant scaring people to death, maybe hurting them, and exposing our secret. Oh, great. That was the flaw I hadn't thought through. Now, I could only hope that this fear would be strong enough to avoid any tantrums.

The door creaked and I whirled around a bit too fast. Rebecca took an involuntary step back. "I didn't want to scare you, sorry.", she mumbled, being startled herself. I needed to control my human moves, too.

"This will be your room.", Becky explained. The restroom is down the hall, over there." She pointed to a place I couldn't see, being at the other side of the room. I walked over to her in a slow human pace.

"Okay." "I'll give you time to take a shower and all that. If you want, you can use our phone to call your mum and tell her you're alright. You can come for breakfast when you're ready. Just follow the scent of coffee, alright?" I nodded. Following scents was surely no problem.

The hot shower vitalized me and chased my worries out of my conscious mind. I figured I would have time later to unpack and ensconce myself in my new room.

I embraced Becky's offering and gave my mother a call. I'm here, I'm fine, I'll call you again. I miss you, too.

I found the kitchen easily, what with my wonderfully distinct werewolf senses.

As soon as I entered, two children leaped forward to greet me. One was a toddler girl, the other a boy of maybe five or six years. I hugged them in a friendly way and let them tow me toward the kitchen table, where Rebecca had taken a seat with a big mug of coffee. She smiled at me.

"I'm really glad you're here, Leah."

"Yes, me too.", I replied honestly and yawned.

"Jet Lag?", she asked.

"Maybe."

The boy tugged at my sleeve and hopped up and down impatiently.

Rebecca raised an eybrow at him. "Pili."

The boy stopped bouncing, but still looked at me in expectation.

"Leah's just arrived here. She's tired." It was true, but I shrugged anyway. I was used to being tired and still function.

The toddler girl had given up and crawled over to play in another corner of the room.

"I think I'd better lead you around the house so you'll get familiar with everything." I nodded. "First... let me introduce my kids to you – Pili-", she gestured toward the boy, "is the hawaiian transcription of 'Billy'." She smiled. And my little girl is Kaili."

The girl looked up at the sound of her name and smiled a dimpled grin at me. I smiled back. It seemed I'd been won over to her charme. "You will get to know my husband in the evening. He had to leave early this morning."

Rebecca rose from her chair and swiftly set the table. I tried to memorize where to find what in the kitchen as I watched her. "You ought to be hungry."

"I had breakfast already!", Pili exclaimed. "I've been up soo early, but you weren't awake yet and Mommy said I couldn't wake you, so I had to wait and wait until you _finally_ woke up...", he babbled. Rebecca ruffled his hair playfully.

"Leah's gonna be here for a while. You don't have to use up your whole supply all for today."

He shrugged, unconcerned. "It's the weekend and I want to do so much today. Keni will come over tomorrow and we'll go to the forest and..."

"Hey, hey, hold it a second.", I smiled. "How about you wait and play for a while and when I'm done here, I'll come with you if you like?"

He nodded with a bright glint in his dark brown eyes. I sat down and had breakfast. I had a feeling I'd never be bored here with two children keeping me on my toes.

After breakfast, Rebecca took me on a tour through the house. Every room was furnished individually tasteful. I liked the open friendliness the rooms radiated and the big windows that let the sun lighten the room. It was quite a difference to the ever-rainy climate in La Push.

When Becky was through showing me the house, she started asking questions. How was it going, how was her father and her siblings, what was new?

I answered carefully, always minding the La Push secrets I was bound to keep. Billy and Jacob were fine, Rachel was at home at the moment to spend time with her newly found boyfriend. Rebecca had already heard of my father's death and of Sam's and Emily's wedding as well, which she brought up for some reason.

"So... Sam got married to Emily this summer?" She voiced the words hesitantly, eyeing me to see my reaction, hoping it would not upset me. I hoped the same.

"Yes.", I said and tried to repress the shaking. "Oh, Lee." She must have guessed by my expression that this was still chewing at me, ripping at my insides. She took me in her arms and I sobbed. At least, she seemed oblivious to my body temperature, or she just didn't comment on it.

I'd been bottling everything up for years, making my pack and my family suffer from the bitterness I emanated. I'd tried to make others suffer with me to ease my own pain, as Jacob had pointed it out.

It all broke free at this moment when I cried in Rebecca's embrace. I wasn't free to tell her everything, but enough of this was human drama that I could tell.

"It's still the same!", I cried. "I love him still, Becky. He's in my dreams, sometimes with Emily, sometimes he is mine... but when I wake, I know he ain't. He... doesn't love me anymore, but... even if I know there's no point, I...I just can't let him go."

She patted my back and stayed silent, waiting for me to choke out more of it. "Seeing him hurts so much... seeing him with Emily and knowing he doesn't belong to me... how all we had lost its value when he... saw _her_. I... I know he's happy and I wish he is, but it just hurts to know he's happy without me."

"My poor Lee... I can empathize how that hurts." I wasn't sure if she really could, if anyone could, but I didn't argue. Years ago, Jacob had had the same situation – _"he – _or she, in his case_ – is everything you want and everything you can't have"_, I'd told him.

For him, the scene had changed completely. But for me, it remained the same. I couldn't let go of Sam. And I very much doubted it had the same reason why he couldn't stay away from Bella when she was pregnant with the _monster_ he'd imprinted on.

Wow. My head was private. I could insult vampires without being growled at. What an improvement.

That didn't change anything about the way I felt about Sam. He was still everything I wanted. The only other thing I wanted – since I knew, in theory, that I couldn't have him – was to forget about him and get rid of all this hurt.

Fresh tears came to my eyes and it was such a relief to have someone outside the mess who comforted me. She just kept rubbing my back and whispering almost unintelligible things to me – I suspected they were in Hawaiian language, that explained why even my good ears couldn't make out the words.

The flood of tears ebbed, eventually, and I wiped my eyes dry. "Sorry.", I mumbled. "You're welcome...", Becky whispered back. "I hope being here helps you get a new perspective on things. Maybe..." She trailed off and I was unsure whether I should ask her to go on, but then decided to drop it. "Yes. I hope so."

She changed the subject and told me about her work as a landscape designer. "That means a lot of travelling, you know. The accounting and all that I can do at home, but there's some practical work to do at the sites."

Landscape Designer. That explained the taste that was expressed in this house.

"My husband travels a lot, too. He's working at a Transportation Services Company." She sighed.

"I know it's bad for the kids to lack our company for so much time. But at the moment there's no other option. I'm really glad you'll be here for them." For a moment, she stared out the window as if she searched for something there. Then she turned back to me and smiled.

"Your hair is so short! Didn't you wear it much longer back when I've seen you the last time?"

Absently, she ran her fingers through my short hairstyle. "Oh. Well, it's just more convenient."

"Sure." With that, she turned and walked down the stairs. I wondered briefly if there was some sign I had missed in her suddenly hasty behaviour, but shoved the thought aside. Too much mythical stuff made me paranoid.


	5. Nanny

**Chapter 5 - Nanny**

Pili's face lighted up when he saw me descending the stairs. "You come out with me?"

I grinned at him and jumped down the last few stairs in a swift movement. He towed me by the hand out the back door into the garden. Like I should have guessed, it was artfully designed and showed Rebecca's talent. It seemed so alive, nothing was out of place, but still, it didn't scream "_Don't move!_" like some perfectionated gardens might convey to everyone. This one was inviting.

Kaili sat under an orchard tree and played peacefully and totally absorbed. She didn't even notice us. Pili let go of my hand to suddenly crouch, then leap up and get hold on a branch. He dangled from the tree for a moment before he swung himself completely up and came to sit on the branch, from where he grinned down on me.

"Wow.", I said, stunned. It didn't look like something a six year-old could usually do. Well, maybe my view on normality had been swayed anyway.

"Want me to come up there?", I teased.

"I don't believe you can!", he shouted back.

"What do I get if I do?"

He pursed his lips and thought about it. "I'll... show you the forest."

"Cool. I love the forest." And it was true... another reminder of my wolf time.. I loved the scents, the feel of the soil under my paws... or from now on, my feet.

For a second, I contemplated whether it was a good idea or if I would give too much away if I leaped up into the tree. But then, I figured, if the little boy could do this, there couldn't be much of a blow-off to it. Without further thinking, I flung myself up the tree. His eyes were huge in astonishment. "See?", I grinned.

We sat up there for quite a while until Rebecca called from the house and Pili quickly scrambled down the treetrunk to run towards his mother.

I went to pick up Kaili and carried her into the house. Rebecca instructed me how she used to bathe them in the evening after she called them in from playing.

While I was dressing the kids in their pajamas, I heard a new voice in the hall. Rebecca's husband must be home. I carried Kaili to the kitchen and sat her in her high chair.

Rebecca entered the kitchen with her husband following close behind. "Leah, this is my husband, Mikala – in English, you'd call him Michael."

"You can call me either way.", he allowed.

"Welcome, Leah." I came forward to shake his hand, and I felt how something triggered my wolf senses. But I couldn't put my finger on it, so I shoved it out of my head.

"Nice to meet you.", I told him. My voice was a little unsteady, but it could also be nervousity. Would he trust me to care for his children?

"Dada!", Kaili squealed behind me, and Mikala stepped forward to sweep her out of her chair and into his arms. Pili came bouncing up and down like before. I'd really have to think of some way to even his temper out so I would be able to get him tired and into bed in the evening.

His father caught him by the arm eventually and hugged him, too. "Hey there, wolf.", he greeted him, and I flinched, startled. It took me a second to recover. It was not like there was any meaning behind it, just like someone might call a boy Tiger or a girl Princess. I blinked twice and calmed myself again.

The family sat down to eat. Some conversation took place, I told Mikala something about my family and about his father-in-law whom he hadn't seen in quite a while, then he asked me about what I'd been up to over the last years.

"Oh.", I frowned. "Not much to tell, I fear. Mostly, I've been... helping my mother since we lost my father."

That was partly true. My mum was tough. The bigger problem was that I hadn't dared to go to college or anything because I was afraid I might snap at the slightest trigger. Which was... true. Oh, yeah, and don't forget the bloodsuckers that frustrated any chance at a peaceful life – stopping an army of newborn leeches, then protect the other bloodsuckers – our personal vampire friends – from their own kind. Parasites. I didn't mind killing them, that was instinctive. But protecting and allying with them... Ugh.

Mikala broke into my obscure reverie with another question.

"Are the Quileute still the same as they've always been?"

I stared at him incomprehendingly. He took another mouthful, chewed and swallowed, before he explained his question. "I mean, do they still live the way their ancestors lived, aware of their traditions and... myths? Or have they swapped their culture for modern customs?"

I wondered briefly if I should feel insulted. Though, it was curious that he would ask something like that.

"Oh, I think... we're about the same. The council of the elders still kind of... rules the tribe, the stories of our ancestors are passed on... though, we're taking part in civilized life, too, what with electrical light and the internet. We use that in the reservation."

He laughed. "You say that like you're confessing something. I think it's good for the tribes to keep up with civilisation, as long as they keep their own uniqueness alive. The Quileute have always been quite an interesting people..."

I smiled, but somehow the way Mikala spoke about that topic put me on edge, like there was something I was missing here. But that was probably my imagination running wild.

I wasn't here to think about myths and supernatural stuff. I was here to turn my back on it. Better give it a start right now.

I fell into bed totally exhausted right after I'd been helping Rebecca put the children to bed.

I dreamed again.

_Sam was staring at me with a smile on his lovely face. He started walking towards me and even in the dream, my heart skipped a beat. Sam smiled wider, crossing the distance between us in a few strides. When he was almost there, his eyes unfocused. They were not looking at me anymore. He walked on, and the instant he should have stopped right in front of me, he took another step right through me. Without even noticing my presence, he passed, and as I incredulously turned around, I saw right into Emily's face.  
Sam hadn't smiled at me. I was invisible to him, a ghost, a fleeing shadow._

I woke up with a start, staring into the darkness. Where was I? Was I alive? I lifted my hand, stared at it. I wasn't a ghost. I was just Leah. Easy to pass by, invisible. Just a genetic dead-end. Me.

It took me a long time to stop shuddering and go back to sleep. The dreams I had for the rest of the night were harmless. Lighter shades of horror.

I used the morning for a walk around the neighborhood. Ainako Ave was a long-stretched avenue, situated right within the green. It was quiet as I walked past the houses. I wondered how far we were from the coast to each side, it couldn't be far. I could smell it and it made me feel like home. I wondered how it would be to phase now and run this unfamiliar trails throughout all the island. I was sure I could have run to the airport of Hilo where I'd been landing and back to Rebecca's house in no time.

_CUT_., I scolded myself. I was trying to get away from it. And yet, I always kept coming back...

It was innate, I knew that.. There was no getting away from this fate. But why it had chosen me in the first place, I still couldn't reason with. I was, in that sense, one of a kind. Sigh.

After I got tired of walking – not in the literal sense, only in a mental way – I returned to the Hookano's place. Pili spotted me and leaped down from the garden fence where he'd been sitting. Waiting for me, I assumed. "Hi, boy.", I greeted him. He grabbed my hand again and led me through the garden, maybe to show me another secret place of his. Rebecca had clearly designed this garden exactly as the kind of adventure jungle her son needed. And yet, it was not the slightest bit messy. It was amazing.

Pili showed me a place where willow sprouts where arranged into a circle. Only at the front, a space was left as an entrance. Pili crawled in and I followed. It was high enough for him to stand, but I had to stoop. The branches had joined together at the top, building a dome above. It was a natural tent, initiated by an artist, but adapted and grown by nature itself.

"Wow.", I breathed. My awed silence was interrupted by another high voice. I looked at Pili, who was excited immediately and ducked out the willow cave to greet another boy that just rounded the corner towards us. "Keni! Hey!", Pili shouted with joy and the two of them jumped around in the garden, delighted to be reunited. Seemed like I'd sometimes have to keep an eye on two boys. Well, that could get complicated. But I was up to anything.

I told Rebecca where we would go and when we would be back, then I left the garden through the back gate, where we reached the forests' edge after only a few yards of walking.

The boys sneaked through the underbrush like scouts. I did the same, just putting myself to the level of elementary school kids and actually having fun with that.

I showed them how to track the animal trails that led back and forth through the forest. I mostly went by scent, but I'd also learned to recognize other signs like footprints or nibbled plants at the height of a certain animal. We actually encountered a herd of deers, but in the next moment, they spotted us, too, and vanished into the underbrush.

For the fraction of a second, my body tensed to leap behind them.

What happened with me? Although I hated eating as a wolf, my instincts were in effect.

I collected myself immediately and turned my back on the fleeing prey.

I froze as I saw Pili watching me with a curious expression.

"Hey. Let's see if we can find any other animals around here.", I distracted him. He agreed and went on scanning the forest floor for tracks. "This one!", he exclaimed, and Keni came over to investigate the footprints as well.

Glad that my distraction had worked so well, I bowed over the discovery, too. It was a canine footprint. I held my breath. It was smaller than a wolf's paw – a horse-sized wolf of course. But it still was bigger than a normal dog's paw should be. Maybe... could _real_ wolves live here? I laughed internally at the distinction between _real_ and _unreal_ wolves – that was just like that shape-shifter issue the bloodsucker had come up with. So we were not the real werewolves, either. We were just the softie-version. I'd rolled my eyes at that thought.

"Leah, what do you think?", Pili asked eagerly.

I frowned. "I think it's a... wolf. Or a big dog."

He stared at me. "A wolf? A real wolf?"

I raised my eyes suspiciously. "Hey, you've ever heard of a fake wolf?" He laughed.

We tried to follow the trail, but soon, we lost it in the underbrush. I could have traced it further by following the scent, but it was about time to return home anyway, so the kids would be back in time fore the evening procedure. Besides, Keni had to make it home to his own place. I let the boys try to find the way, and they did exceedingly well. Probably they were as familiar with this forest as I was with the forest around the Quileute's lands. Although that seemed impossible.

We got home soon enough that nobody had had to worry about us. Keni begged until I went with Pili to accompany him home. Thanks to that, Pili was truly tired when we returned. I put him in the bath tube and helped him dress in his pajama, then we went over to the kitchen. Rebecca and Kaili were already seated, Mikala was missing. I sat down next to Pili.

"I am leaving early tomorrow. I'll be just over to the O'ahu Isle for a project and coming back late in the evening. If you need anything, you can phone me. My cell phone number is on the pin board right below the phone."

After the meal, she gave me a closer instruction into her kitchen work, which I'd have to do from tomorrow on.

We tucked the children into bed. Pili was sleepy, he was out before I could wish him a good night.

I sneaked out of the room and closed the door silently.

"You've got to wake Pili at half past six. He has to be at school at eight. It's just down the street, De Silva Elementary school." I nodded. "No problem."

"I trust you can do this, Lee.", she smiled at me. "Working with the kids comes so naturally to you. Like you're supposed to be for something like this."

Oh, yeah. Because I was designed for easily relating to children, I turned out to be an infertile freak.

"Sure." I tried to make my voice composed, but I could not completely disguise the bitterness.

Becky hugged me good night and I went to my room to go to sleep.

Dreams got worse, as they got more confusing and intricate.

_This time, the horror from my first month after phasing came creeping back to me. I counted days, too many days, waited, but there was no sign of my period at all._

_The next instant, I discovered horrorstruck that my belly was absolutely oversized. It just wasn't possible. There was just no way I could be pregnant. But there was no negotiation to it..._

_Sam was suddenly there, he stared at me with an unfathomable expression in his dark eyes. "I don't want it!", he spat out and turned away. I tried to run after him, but when I tried to clutch his arm, I found nothing to hold on to. He walked away. Emily appeared out of nowhere, she glared at me. "How could you?", she hissed. I saw her quivering fervently, and then she sprang at me, shifting into a big, black... hog before my eyes._

I blinked and snapped into awareness. The dream made so little sense that it woke me. I tried my best, but I could not get the hog out of my mind. It lingered there as if there were any meaning to it.

Shuddering, I lay in bet, wrapped in my blanket, and puzzled over a dream. It was a long time of lying awake before I finally fell asleep again.

The next shock came soon after when my alarm clock woke me cruelly. Before I could turn it off and roll to the other side to sleep, I realized it was time to get Pili out of bed, get him something to eat and get him to school. Welcome to a nanny's every day life.

"Good Morning, Pili. It's time to get up." I walked across the room to pull the curtain open, and jumped as Pili shrieked, before he pulled his blanket up above his head to block the light out.

I gently tugged at the blanket, but he clutched it closer. "I'm _not_ getting up!", he proclaimed.

"Yes. You are." Pili grumbled. "It's a school day. You ought to get up unless you want to skip breakfast."

"I want to skip school!"

And here I'd thought that at least first graders would show a little enthusiasm for school...

But now, I had to find a strategy to get the boy out of bed. Rebecca had already left the house, I couldn't count on her. I thought briefly that my wolf self could scare him enough to take me seriously, or else I could drag him out with my teeth. The flaw in that was that I wasn't engaged as a guard dog, but a nanny.

I'd have to find a solution all by my - human - self. This two-selves-stuff was prone to create shizophrenia.

"Pili, come on. If you won't comply, Rebecca might send me home and I can't go to the forest with you and Keni any more." I really hoped that worked and he wouldn't turn the tables on me some day to get rid of me.

He blinked and frowned. "I don't want that.", he stated, and I let out a relieved sigh.

"When I get up now, will you go to the forest with me again? This afternoon?", he asked, eagerly.

"Yes.", I promised, hoping once again that this compromise wouldn't turn into a general rule to get him out of bed.

Pili scrambled out from under the covers and got to his feet. Without a word, he shuffled off to brush his teeth and even dressed in the clothes Rebecca must have laid out for him.

Relieved, I went into the kitchen to set the breakfast table. When I was half done, I heard Kaili wail. I went over to her room to look after her. She stopped weeping when she saw me and looked up with her dark brown eyes wide open.

"Hello, Kaili.", I all but crooned and lifted her out of her crib. She smiled at me and patted my face.

"Do you want breakfast, too, baby?", I asked and she giggled happily. At least one kid that was no morning grouch.

Pili came in and sat down, reaching for the cornflakes and filling his bowl like he hadn't eaten for months. In the fridge I found a jar of baby food, which I fed to Kaili. Pili was quieter than usual and I wondered if that was a good or a bad thing. I glanced at the clock and started. I wasn't sure how long it would take us to school, but it was definitely time to go.

I stood. "Come on, Pili, I think we need to hurry. Where's your school bag?"

"It's upstairs.", he mumbled while he still shoved spoon for spoon into his mouth. "Could you get it, please, we have to go."

He grumbled. "I'm still eating."

"Pili!"

He shoved his bowl aside stubbornly and stomped up the stairs. I sighed. He retrieved his bag and left it in front of me to resume his breakfast.

"You packed everything you need?", I asked.

"I don't know!"

I should have asked Rebecca whether he had been supposed to pack his bag the evening before. I dug into his bag and found a time table. Flipping through his folders, it seemed like he'd put the right things in for monday schedule. I hoped that was the case.

I returned to the kitchen, were Pili was finally done. He put his bowl into the sink and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Pili!", I scolded. He ignored me. Kaili had taken advantage of my inattention. She'd taken the spoon and ate the baby food herself, what seemed to be a complicated task. Half of it was already on her pajama. I should have given her a bib. Oh, fabulous. I hadn't thought about the fact that I couldn't leave her alone while I escorted Pili to school. And now, I had to change her clothes, too. I sighed and hurried to find her something clean to wear.

It was already ten to eight when I was done and I wondered if I would find the school. I didn't count much on Pili's help, I was almost sure by now he'd gladly make his teacher believe we got lost on the way to school. I had planned on walking, but remembered soon enough that Rebecca had allowed I could drive her car if I liked.

I'd not been driving much since I got my driver's licence, there was not much need for it at home and besides... I'd had a way to go much faster than by car...

Pili was delighted when he saw that I was headed for the car. He went to sit in the front seat while I was tucking Kaili into the children's seat in the rear. I'd at least washed her face and her hands so she looked presentable. But I'd not changed her diaper yet. I hoped it was okay if I waited until we were back from delivering Pili.

At least, driving was easy, I'd not forgotten how to drive a car. I drove down the street, trusting Pili's navigation, and drove straight until he said to go left. I really hoped he wasn't leading me up the garten path in this, but I took the risk because otherwise I'd be completely lost.

I sighed with relief when I saw the sign that announced "De Silva Elementary School" and pulled up into the parking lot. Pili took his school bag and ran for the door, just in this instant, the bell rang. I figured he'd probably excuse himself by blaming me. Oh, well. Fine.

I'd not even pulled over to leave the school area when Kaili began to cry. It was probably due to her diaper that already emanated the odor of what was inside it.

I sighed, fighting back the curses that tried to slip out – thanks to the werewolf guys, I knew enough curses to make every well-mannered person blush, at least I thought it would. I'd never put it to a test.

I drove home as fast as I sanely could, parked the car and carried Kaili in. At least, I found everything I needed in the drawers under her changing table.

Once relieved from that burden, Kaili was all excited again. She smiled at me with her dimpled face and I took her and cuddled her, laughing with her.

A one-and-a-half year-old was easier to handle than a five year-old. One year-olds had basic needs they wanted to be fulfilled, and they didn't ask for more. And, best of all, they didn't talk back.


	6. Stories

Here's Chapter 6 for you :) I hope I'll manage Chapter Seven within the next days. I'll do my best, but I'm not sure when I'll find the time to write. To comfort you, I'm just as curious as you are about how the story turns out - though I sort of have a plan already...  
Okay, for now - have fun with this chapter.

**Chapter 6 - Stories**

It turned out that a one year-old really didn't ask for more – at least not more than my undivided attention. In fact, she would have been just fine without my attention, but if I let her have her way, I'd have to do a lot of work in the house to undo whatever she decided to disengage or throw around. At first, I had to learn what every parent knew: Whenever children are too quiet, you can be positive the kiddy is up to something you would definitely disagree with.

I went to her bed room where I'd last seen her, but obviously, she had walked to another room. That was...bad.

Alarmed, I looked into the other rooms until I found her in the living room where she was hauling things out of a cupboard. She sat in a heap of different items. I hoped she'd not broken anything yet, and hurried to take care of it. She squealed and held something out to me. It was a figurine that looked like a man, but had a dog's tail. It seemed to be native art.

"You can't take everything out. Let's put the things back there, okay?" I started grabbing items at random and putting them back into the cupboard. I found other figurines, too, but they looked more like men. There were a few books, too, and I was glad Kaili hadn't come around to ripping out pages. Good thing I'd found her before she found the books.

My hand froze as I was about to put this book back where it belonged.

What had caught my attention was the picture on the cover. It was a man, jumping upwards, and while he did, his shape was already halfway changed into a hog. Or so, it looked to me. Maybe it was only my interpretation of this native art, but my hands shook. I closed my eyes and calmed myself. When I opened them again, I read the title of the book. "Hawai'i Legends". I put the book on the shelf instead of back into the cupboard. I wasn't sure why, but I had the feeling I had to find out what my dream was supposed to mean. Why the hog?

I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know, but I was captivated.

While I had been distracted again, Kaili had moved on to emptying the next cupboard. Obviously, she wasn't interested in what she found there, because she didn't even look at the CDs she was throwing out. I picked her up and carried her to her room, where I managed to entertain her with toddler-suited toys. I went to tidy up in the living room, and took the legends book with me.

When I came back to Kaili's room, she had stopped playing. She looked at me and stretched her arms toward me. I lifted her up. Her sweet face wore a huge frown, her lip pouted and a moment later, she started to cry. What now? She patted my face and I was reminded of something I knew from Jacob's thoughts, not that I really cared about his baby girl – Renesmee's bloodsucker ability to show people things... well, this could come in handy when dealing with a child that didn't speak much yet.

Ugh. Normal people got along without all this freaky myth stuff. I went to the kitchen and retrieved the baby food that was leftover from breakfast. She patted my neck and reached for the jar. I got a spoon from the right drawer and even found a bib for Kaili. I fed her again after the mess she'd done eating alone this morning. She was content.

See? It all worked just fine, thank you very much.

After the meal I put her into her crib, since she could barely keep her eyes open. She drifted to sleep at once. I stood at her bedside and looked down into her sleeping face. I realized how much she'd already captured my heart. Looking into her face made me feel like I'd found something I'd missed. Something my future should have been like.

I'd never seen it so clearly. But I really wanted to have a child of my own.

Still, in this moment as I looked intently into this baby's face, I could feel no bitterness, only a quite whispering of peace around me. I smiled, suddenly I felt so much lighter, like my burden had been eased.

I walked out of the room and softly pulled the door ajar.

It seemed like Kaili would be out for a while. I grapped the legends book and sat down on the sofa in the living room. I opened the book and turned to the index page.

It was one of the first stories that caught my eye immediately.

_Kamapuaa the Hog God_

I flipped through the pages until I found the story.

_The demi-god Kamapua'a was a handsome chief. But he had a dark, destructive side, too. When he was in rage, he would take the shape of a hog to bring destruction. He settled nowhere, but traveled from island to island in a canoe that could turn into a small shell.  
Once he came to the southeast of Hawai'i. There, he encountered Pele, the fire-goddess, and her sisters, who advised her to reconcile with him. The two of them got married and had a son named Opelu-haa-lii, but he lived only a short time.  
After a little while, Pele got tired of Kamapua'a's hog-like habits and he was enraged with her fiery temper. They got in quarrels until Pele decided to kill Kamapua'a.  
It was a fight of the elements. Pele would summon flames, smoke and streams of flowing lava which Kamapua'a countered by calling upon the waters of the ocean.  
At first, it seemed like Kamapua'a had destroyed Pele. But the gods of the underworld gave her strength to send forth more fire and lava. Kamapua'a changed his body into a kind of grass that defied the lava. Pele sent more lava and the grass begann to burn. Kamapua'a changed back into a man and his body was scorched, too. He fled to the ocean and dived into the water that was boiling from the lava Pele had thrown into the water.  
Once again, Kamapua'a's form shifted, this time into a fish with a thick skin that resisted the high temperature.  
Eventually, both Kamapua'a and Pele gave up destroying each other. They divided up the islands and took a solemn oath which remains unbroken until this day.  
_

Hog God... a shape-shifter. I felt a shiver running down my spine.

I wasn't sure what to think. From our Quileute legends... up until now, they'd been true – not every part of it, but still... if a legend existed, it was never far-fetched to believe it.

Still – I was on Hawaii now. It was not the same. Just because the Quileute's legends were true, that didn't mean every other tribe's stories had to be true.

So far... the vital question really was – how on earth did the _Hog God_ end up in my dream?

A term came to my mind. _Precognition..._

I gasped.

Kaili was still asleep by the time I had to fetch Pili from school. I took the risk to leave her at home alone for the twenty minutes it would take to get him.

Pili was delighted to see me, asking me three times on the way back when we'd go to the forest. I replied each time that he'd do his homework first. He tried to convince me he could do them in the evening, but I insisted.

The outlook of going to the forest was both a drag and a bait for him when he did his homework. When he was done, Kaili woke up again. That was the unforeseen factor, of course. How could I take her with me without spoiling Pili's fun?

Once again I found that Rebecca's family was well suited for whatever you wanted to do. I found a baby sling which I could strap onto my back. I dressed the girl in outdoor clothing after changing her diaper again and we went for our afternoon's hiking trip.

This time, we concentrated on smaller animals' trails, tracking a hedgehog.

Right in between this, I perceived a faint trace of dog's smell. It was similiar to wolf, but still different. Probably, the local dog owners were walking their dog's in this area. I returned my attention to the hedgehog trail, but some part of my mind was still puzzling about the dog scent.

Pili had discovered another footprint in the meantime. A fox, obviously, judged by the smell. We followed it carefully until we found the fox's den.

"Wow! Can we dig and search for the fox?" Pili was all excited.

"You can't destroy his home, right? It's better only to watch them, and not disturb them.", I explained. He was a bit disappointed, but gave up after that.

Kaili kept quiet the whole time, only babbling silently to herself. I assumed she liked the trip. Otherwise, she would have complained, I thought. In this way, I could take care of both children at the same time. As it seemed, I handled my nanny job quite well for now.

We returned to the house in time. I send Pili to the bathroom first, while I already set the dinner table. Since Pili ate lunch at the school cafeteria, there'd been no need to cook. Bread with cheese would do, while Kaili got another jar of baby food.

Pili managed to take a bath without my help, but left a correlative mess in the bathroom, too.

I bathed Kaili, wiped the floor clean and we had dinner. The fresh air she'd breathed all afternoon made the little girl tired. I put her in her crib and went upstairs to Pili's room.

He was in bed already, which made me suspicious. I went over to sit next to him on the bed. He looked at me with big eyes.

"Will you tell me a good-night-story?", he asked. "Please!"

I laughed. "Okay. What would you like to hear?"

"Legends!", he said at once.

"Oh."

I thought about that for a while. "I suppose I could tell you a Quileute legend if you like."

"Yay!", he squealed and looked at me in expectation.

"Long ago, the men of the Quileute tribe were spirit warriors. Once, there was an enemy tribe that conquered their land, so the tribe fled. But they still had a possibility to overcome the enemies. They could leave their bodys and let their spirits wander..."

I told him the story of the chief, Taha Aki, as good as I remembered it from several tribe meetings at the bonfire. I tried not to put too much emphasis on the wolves, not wanting to give too much of our secret away.

When I had ended – I'd told the story up to the point where Taha Aki turned back into a man and resumed his reign again – Pili was still all ears. He gazed at me in wonder. After a few moments, he blinked and closed his eyes. I watched him for a minute, but just as I assumed he would have fallen asleep, he suddenly stirred again. He looked at me.

"Leah?"

"Yes?"

"Do you believe it's a true story?"

I contemplated that for a moment. Whether I believed it or not – I and my "brothers" were proof enough that it was all true. But once the story proved to be true, I was bound to keep it a secret.

Maybe I shouldn't have told him in the first place, but now, it was done. I tried evasion strategy.

"It's hard to believe, isn't it? It's what my ancestors believed in. I think... it's a good story, whether it's true or not."

"Mhm...", he mumbled, and I guessed he was too tired to process this any further.

"In your dreams, everything can be true.", I concluded. "Sleep well."

I rose from his bed and walked slowly to the door. I peered back at Pili, but from his even breaths I could tell he was close to sleep. I smiled into the darkness and closed the door.

I was a bit exhausted, too, it had been a long day – but I itched to take up the legends book again. I went over to my room, dressed for bed and wrapped myself in my blanket. I grabbed the book and opened the index page again. I ran my fingers across the headlines. There was one story again that I couldn't resist to read.

It was called "Ku'ilioloa the great dog".

I thumbed through the book and found the story.

_There was a chief of Kahiki known by the name of Lonoakaehu who traveled to O'ahu. There were little to tell about Lonoakaehu himself if not for his dog.  
Ku'ilioloa, the "great dog", accompanied his master along the way. Ku'ilioloa was a kupua, a demigod, protector of travelers.  
His ability was to change his form from a man into a dog._

I gasped. Shivers ran down my spine again. There were shape-shifter legends in Hawaiian myths, too. How could one be sure they wouldn't turn out to be true as well? And yet I'd come here to get away from mystery and supernatural, but it kept coming back to me. The legends book had captivated me and was still drawing me to go on.  
_  
He was said to be everywhere at once, whenever a traveler needed protection. Some say he was communicating with the spirit of Poki, who could fly with the clouds. Up until now, when a dog form is seen in the clouds, it foretells the future.  
The most current enemy Ku'ilioloa needed to protect the travelers from were the man-eating spirits. These would snatch away men, most times from remote areas and when they were alone.  
The spirits could not easily be destroyed. People thought that fire would destroy them, but it was hard enough to even come near such a spirit, so they never found out if it was true._

There again. This time, instead of shivering, it was shaking. Man-eating spirits... how close that was to the bloodsuckers the Quileute pack had to deal with. I snarled under my breath.

_Calm down! Calm it, Leah. Calm. Now._ I sat up, closed my eyes and forced the shaking to stop. I was neither destroying the furniture nor my aim to succeed in quitting. It was not easy at all to fight against my wolf self. Instinctively, my body tried to transform itself in reaction to the lifesuckers. My senses screamed for the wolf form to handle the threat and to kill the enemy.  
_Stop!_, I commanded myself. _These are legends. There is no danger here._  
Eventually, I got myself calmed down enough to stop shaking. I knew it was risky to keep reading and become even more upset, but I had to learn how the story would go on.

_Ku'ilioloa, in his dog form, could capture and destroy the spirits. This is what made him the protector of the travelers that traveled on the islands of Hawai'i.  
In some transmissions, Ku'ilioloa is referred to as a man-eating dog himself. He would kill men, too, to protect innocent travelers. Those corpses he would take for food while he was a dog.  
Lonoakaehu would travel safely between the isles. Eventually, this safety was going to his head, and he commanded Ku'ilioloa to protect no one but him and to protect him in battle, too.  
Ku'ilioloa followed his master, but he was not happy about it.  
One day, Lonoakaehu's warriors would attack another tribe. The moment they meant to attack, Ku'ilioloa suddenly stood between the two tribes in his dog form. He could speak to humans in a human tongue, and he said he would not protect the murderers and watch as the weaker people would be slaughtered.  
Lonoakaehu was enraged and commanded his men to attack. But Ku'ilioloa suddenly changed back to his human form. As a kupua, he summoned the men of the other tribe to come forth. When they obeyed, he changed them into dogs as well. These would fight against the warriors of Lonoakaehu and win.  
When Lonoakaehu was defeated, he fled to the mountains and was never seen again. Rumors flew that the man-eating spirits had come for him, but Ku'ilioloa had not rescued him.  
Ku'ilioloa himself remained the protector of all the travelers.  
From now on, the men Ku'ilioloa had summoned could change their shape from men to dogs whenever they needed. They protected the tribe against other tribes that tried to harm them and even defied the man-eating spirits, thus granting safety for the whole tribe.  
When the elder dog-men died, they would give their dog spirits to their sons or if there were no sons, to their daughters. In this way, it was passed on to every generation.  
_

Daughters. _Daughters_. I gasped again as I tried to process it. So many things I'd been braced for, but this caught me off guard. I felt tears streaming down my cheeks and started shivering again. Not in the wolf sense. I was not fighting my temper right now. I was having a moment of something I could hardly describe. Daughters. Women, turning into dogs and fighting for their tribe.  
There was a shifting inside of me. I was not alone in my fate anymore.

Then, I remembered it was myth. Myth and nothing more. An invented story. Nothing to save me here, nothing at all.

I curled up in a tight ball, clutching my hands around my chest, and began to cry until I was too exhausted and fell asleep.

My dreams were vivid and terrible as ever.

_My legs were frozen to the ground. I knew I had to run but I could not make my feet move. _

_I knew even more. I knew why I was here and I knew whom I had to protect. As if it were a sequel from last night's dream, I was still... pregnant. But there was no shock this time. This time it was _my_ baby I had to protect._

_I cried out as the pack of ferociously snarling dogs came rushing towards me. The next instant, I was on the ground and they were ripping at my body as if they wanted to tear my heart out. In fact, they ripped at my stomach, they ripped at my baby, and all my thrashing and screaming led to nothing._

_As I looked up from beneath the beasts, I saw a black wolf glower at me. Then, slowly, he turned away, leaving me, leaving us as food for the dogs. If he'd joined them, I would have taken it gladly._

_But Sam ignored me and walked away._

_

* * *

_

_Note: I've done some research on Hawaiian legends on the internet._ The Legend of Kamapua'a "the hog god" I found on the Internet and retold it shorter.

The story around Ku'ilioloa "the great dog" I invented or adapted by myself because it had to suit my storyline and I couldn't find so much about it anyway. I tried to weave in any "real" legend stuff I could find.


	7. Suspicion

**Chapter 7 - Suspicion**

I screamed at the top of my lungs, thrashing wildly, beating my fists to everything I could reach, fighting as hard as I could.

Suddenly, I heard a crack and the next instant, my wrists were caught. I tried to break free, struggling furiously, succeeding eventually.

Instead of the restraining hands, something stroked my face now.

"Leah! Lee, wake up! It's all okay, I'm here... it was just a dream...shh..."

My eyes opened. I glared to the ceiling.

I was not being ripped to pieces. I was in my room in Hawaii.

That was good.

"Lee? Did you have a bad dream?" Rebecca stroked my sweat-damp forehead.

I shuddered as I remembered fragments of my dream.

"I think it were... those stories I've read.", I whispered. I reached for the book that must have fallen to the floor.

Rebecca gently took it from my hands. She smiled at me. "These are legends from the native hawaiians. It's... culture. You shouldn't take them too serious. Every culture has its stories, and people are fond of them. But they are _stories_."

I nodded, unsatisfied. Well... if she knew how true the stories of her own ancestors really were, maybe she would be a bit more... superstitious.

Suddenly, I heard Mikala clear his throat and realized he'd been there all the while. "May I come in?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

He walked over to lean against the wardrobe, gazing thoughtfully at me and at the legends book. Like he was worried about something. Worried - about what I... found out?

I stared back at him emotionlessly and did not look down.

Finally, Rebecca got my attention back. "Do you want a cup of coffee or anything?"

I blinked a few times. "How late is it?"

"It's five to two a.m."

"Oh.", I exclaimed, feeling guilty at once for waking up the whole household. I hoped I hadn't woken the children, at least.

Rebecca stroked my hair softly. "It's okay. You've not woken anyone. We've been awake. I've been home shortly after midnight, and so was Mikala. We were drinking a cup of tea in the kitchen when we heard you scream."

I breathed out in relief. "Good." Slowly, I shoved the blanket aside and stood.

The three of us went back into the kitchen and Becky poured me a cup of tea.

"Do you want to tell us of your dream?", she asked while I carefully sipped at the hot drink. I flinched and almost spilled my tea.

"I...I don't know. It was... the same as ever in... different shades, sort of. A different setting." I looked up at Rebecca and knew she understood what I meant. I didn't feel so free to talk to her husband.

"There were...mad dogs... they were... they were killing my... my..." Somehow I couldn't speak any more, and I realized I was sobbing. Rebecca was at my side, her arm around my shoulders. I let the tears stream and tried to breathe evenly in and out.

I was reminded of one of Jacob's memories of Bella... it was a painful memory of how she would try to hold her chest together, like someone had punched a hole into it when her bloodsucker abandoned her. I still didn't really like her, but I could empathize. I felt the wound of Sam's betrayal like someone had taken my heart out, too. Unlike her, I had not gotten a happy ending. I, too, had my arms around my body to keep it from breaking. I'd never felt so fragile before. All this time, I had stashed all my hurt into the recesses of my mind and heart. But now, here, it all came spilling out.

"Lee...", Rebecca whispered, worry in her voice. I rose from my chair.

"I'd rather go to sleep again. I can't... stand this."

She nodded. "Do you want my company?" I contemplated that for a second. Probably it did no good to go into my room to face this all alone. But, besides, there was nothing anyone could do for me. I looked at her. "No, thank you. Really."

She embraced me again. "I understand. If you need me... just let me know."

I hugged her back. "Thanks, Becky."

She let me go and I left the kitchen, closing the door behind me. Slowly, I walked a few steps before my legs gave in and I let myself slide down at the wall. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. I was both tired and exhausted, not only physically. I wanted to sleep. But I wanted sleep without dreams.

My ears became alert when I heard the voices from the kitchen.

"How did she get that book?", Mikala asked tensely.

"I don't know." Rebecca paused for a moment. "I think it was in the living room. Maybe she scanned the book shelf for something to read."

"Lepeka, she looked like she _believed_ the stories. Like she _knew_ that they are true." It sounded like he was thumping his fist to the table.

"She knows tribe stories. Every tribe has its stories, like the Quileute do, too. She's used to stories. Why would she believe they're true?"

_Simply because the Quileute's stories _were_ true, maybe?_ But probably Rebecca was as oblivious about that as she should be. But it seemed like there was something else going on. I stood, wide awake again, on alert. My body was tensed, but I didn't knew what for. Attacking? Whom, for heaven's sake? Maybe I was just prepared to fly back to my room in case they were about to catch me eavesdropping.

"I am worried about it, Lepeka." He sounded serious and somehow angry.

"Well.", she suddenly snapped. "I'm a little more worried about Leah herself. She's still hurting of the pain about her ex-boyfriend who left her for her cousin. And that was _four years ago_!"

I winced. I was touched about her empathy, but it was like a slap to see a picture of myself from her view point. Yes, I was a mess, and it was not normal.

"And yet, you're only worried about secrets being kept. I'm sure Leah is way apart from spying on you. Why should she find out?"

Mikala didn't reply, so Rebecca went on, though she lowered her voice and calmed down. "I think the reason why she came here, besides that she's really good with the kids and that she was in need of a job, is that she was absolutely desperate to get away. Her ex-boyfriend lives in the reservation with his newly-wed wife. Do you think she would like to see that happy couple every day?"

"No.", he allowed. "But we still have a secret to protect here... and I believe the Quileutes are being superstitious anyway."

"_I_ am Quileute, too. And I don't really think those stories are true.", she stated.

He grunted. "I still say we should be careful. She isn't allowed to know and we shouldn't give her any reason to suspect something."

_Oops. Too late already._ I shuddered.

"Apart from all this supernatural business, I'll relate to Leah and try to do the best that she needs in a human way. From woman to woman."

"Do that, darling." His voice was softer now, and he relaxed. "I'm sorry, I was overreacting. Maybe we should go to bed now."

I quickly sneaked down the hall to my room. Maybe Rebecca would be checking on me again.

When I hid under the blanket, I started shivering from the things I'd heard.

What secret? What had the legends to do with it? Were they true? Was there something supernatural going on here, too?

I groaned. _Why?_ I'd come here to get away from it, and yet it still kept creeping back to me.

I tried to tell myself I didn't want to know, but maybe Mikala was right and Quileutes were superstitious – I was curious and I itched to get to know what was wrong here.

The door creaked and Rebecca peeked in. I concentrated on breathing evenly so she would believe I was asleep. It took a long while until she was convinced, but then she left without speaking a word.

When I woke up again, I was groggy. It was bright daylight outside. Last nights nightmares lingered as faint shadows cast onto the wall. I couldn't even distinguish what belonged into the dreams and what had been real. I remembered a conversation I'd overheard, but it made so little sense that I assumed it must have been a dream.

Then I remembered the Hawaiian Legends book and how the stories had revealed the things I'd dreamed before and I was suddenly certain that I hadn't been dreaming of that conversation.

There was some secret I wasn't in. Some mythical secret I shouldn't want to know about.

I looked around in my room. I couldn't remember that I'd put it somewhere. It should have been on my floor. Probably Rebecca had picked it up and put it back to the bookshelf. Or maybe... maybe she or Mikala had hid it somewhere, or set it on fire, along with everything else that could give me a clue. Or... or maybe I was just being paranoid again.

I glanced up at the clock and was appalled. It was already past noon.

Luckily, Rebecca was here today and had done the morning work of taking Pili to school. When I entered the kitchen, Kaili reached her little arms out to me and smiled a big, marmalade-smeared grin at me. Rebecca stood at the kitchen counter and rearranged things hanging from boards at the wall.

"I'm sorry I'm so late... I should have set my alarm clock."

She turned to smile at me. "It's okay. I'm here today."

"Is Mikala at work already?"

"Yes. Already gone." She turned back to her occupation.

I sat next to Kaili and watched as she made a mess of marmalade and bread crumbs on her high chair table.

"Pili is with Keni's family this afternoon. If that's okay with you, you could take Kaili and go visit the town.", Rebecca proposed when she was done.

"Sure. I haven't seen much of Hawaii in the five days I'm here, beside the forest and the Elementary School.", I laughed.

"Hilo is a nice town. Pretty landscape and all that. Tourist attractions of every kind, of course... well, see for yourself."

I washed Kaili's face and changed her diaper before I put her into her buggy. For town exploration, the buggy would do. The little girl smiled widely as she waved her mum good-bye and we headed for town.

After a few streets we'd passed, a newsstand caught my attention because of the headlines on almost all of the newspaper frontpages.

_Homicide on the rise_

_What's happening in Hilo at night?_

_The Hawaii Murderer_

I stopped to scan the article briefly. The shop owner cleared his throat. I realized I should buy the newspaper if I was interested. I picked one and payed it, smiling apologetically.

I went to sit on a bench across the street. Kaili had fallen asleep in the buggy.

The article stated an increase of homicides on the Big Island within the last few months. These murders were mysterious and the police were absolutely clueless. In addition, the murders always happened at night and there were no corpses found.

A snarl ripped through me so loud that Kaili was startled awake. She looked afraid and confused, then she began to cry.

Immediately, my newly found mother instincts overpowered the wolf instincts, which made me hesitate a second, my hands frozen in the air in amazement at that realization.

I lifted Kaili out of her buggy and comforted her. "It's okay. Everything is fine."

She didn't think so. She grimaced and cried even more. Was she afraid of me now?

But she didn't look afraid any more. Probably it was only about the basic needs again.

I shoved the buggy back to the newsstand and purchased a package of cookies. Sitting in her buggy with cookies in her mouth seemed to please her.

In thoughts, I continued my town trip. But I couldn't enjoy it any more. Not with the almost certain knowledge of bloodsuckers nearby.

It didn't comfort me that these were probably evil bloodsuckers I would be allowed to kill. I was out of service. I didn't want anything to do with it. Not rationally, at least. The wolf that dwelled in me was still tensing for the battle that I never wanted to fight. Never again.

I returned home early and helped Rebecca doing the laundry until Pili came bursting through the door. "Hey Leah!", he called so loud that he could probably be heard by everyone in the street. He told me his whole day with every detail, still talking while he was in the bath tube and at dinner.

When he was in bed after that, he was quiet again. I could guess what that meant.

"Leaah?", he pleaded. "Do I get to hear another story?"

I went to sit by his bedside. "Okay. But no legend this time." He tried to protest, but he was content when I invented him something as close to a tribal legend as I dared.

This time, he asked no questions. He yawned a few times, then he closed his eyes and snuggled into his sheets. I patted his blanket and went outside.

Mikala had returned home while I was telling Pili his story. I went to the hall to greet him, but I stopped when I saw both him and Becky standing there motionless, the horror making their faces blank. I made my feet move forward, wondering if I was welcome in this moment, but I was drawn to it and it felt like I needed to know. I needed to know what bothered them.

I walked over to Rebecca and put my arm around her hesitantly.

She awoke from her frozen shape and leaned into me for support. She started to sob. Over her shoulder, I shot a questioning glance at Mikala. His eyes were dark and grave.

"A friend of mine had a... car crash. He's dead."

His voice was somber and monotone. His face looked like stone – even as grey.

The blood vanished from my face and I held Rebecca tighter.

"I'm so sorry.", I whispered.

Mikala bent his head and said nothing else. Eventually, he moved over to where I stood and gently pulled Rebecca to his chest. I let her go and be comforted by her husband, while I leaned to the wall for support. Not that I'd known the man they were mourning for, but it hurt me enough to see Becky so low and to watch the somber stone face of Mikala.

When I saw that they didn't need me right now, I slowly retreated to my room.

I slumped down on my bed, curling up into a ball. I felt terrible for them, though I could only feel it from the outside. It seemed to be someone they'd been close to. Something unpredictable had taken him out of his life unexpectedly.

I was alert again when I heard the voices from the hall thanks to my good ears.

"We couldn't do anything. It was not like those creatures from the legends. We would have defeated them if they were." Mikala's voice was tense.

Rebecca's voice was even worse, tuneless, barely more than an icy whisper now. "What else were they?"

"I don't know. Creatures right from hell."

I shuddered, which was probably exactly the same thing the couple in the hall did.

It took another second until my brain started working.

What was he talking about? What did this have to do with a _car crash_? I sat up in bed as I saw another parallel.

Jacob's wounds from the vampire attack he'd saved me from. _Outside stories._ He was said to have had a crash with his motorcycle. Just a human drama to conceal the secret truth.

What if this was the case? What if this unknown friend of my host family had been killed by a bloodsucker? I growled, trying to keep it low if I couldn't hinder it completely.

It was another thought that made me gasp in shock.

If there was an outside story, then there was an inside story, too, and the two of them were in it.

My head spun around. My brain refused to draw any further conclusions. I tried to come up with something credible, but without any effect.


	8. Betrayal

**Chapter 8 - Betrayal**

I couldn't sleep at all this night.

I lay awake, tossing from side to side, but sleep didn't come.

My mind was blank. Maybe it was self protection that didn't allow me to draw the conclusions that would definitely upset me enough to phase right now, right here.

I was sure that my mind would start working again all of a sudden. I couldn't guarantee for anything.

The dawn broke slowly outside my window and I scrambled out of bed to stand by the window sill.

My eyes scanned the forest, still dark and mysterious. Birds sang and I could hear the wind softly brushing the leaves. This scenery should have made me feel lighter, calming me down. But instead, my body was still tensed. Just like anything might leap at me from behind.

I turned around and shrieked when I saw Mikala standing motionlessly in the door frame.

He didn't say a word. He only glared at me. The grief for his friend was still in his eyes, but it was overpowered by something else.

"What... do you want?", I stuttered.

"Talk to you."

My heart started racing. "About... what?"

"How much do you believe about all these legends?"

I took an involuntary step back from the fierce edge in his voice. It sounded threatening, like he might... eliminate me because I knew too much?

"Why?"

"What do you know about them anyway?"

"Nothing.", I lied.

He stepped into the room. "I'm not buying that."

"Fine!", I snapped. "Believe what you want."

"I've been asking what you know!", he shouted back at me. I perceived he was shaking from anger. What had I done to him? Why did he come in here and demand an explanation?

"See, I don't get your point! You're making a fuss because I read a book of Hawaiian legends. And now, you come here and blame me. What's going on here?"

"Nothing is going on.", he almost growled.

"So your friend died in a car crash, right?"

The words slipped out too rashly to hold them back. His face twisted into a grimace of hurt and anger.

"Of course he did. Would you claim something else?"

"Stop lying to me!", I yelled. I felt too late that I was losing it. Too late to stop the shaking.

The anger flashed through me, unleashing the wolf instincts I'd been holding back for long.

With a snarl and an explosion, I phased into my wolf form.

Mikala stood at the wall and looked paralyzed and shocked.

Horrified, I turned and jumped through the window, shattering the glass. I started running as soon as I landed on the ground. I was way beyond enjoying my stride this time. My head spun and I felt hideously terrible.

I'd betrayed _everything._

How could I ever go back?

After I'd crossed the whole forest in a few minutes, I skidded to a stop. I didn't want to run along the freeway without cover.

So it happened. I'd given the secret away in the worst way possible. I'd endangered a human.

I would never be able to come before the eyes of my pack brothers.

Plus, I had scared my host family to death.

I supposed I was homeless now. How could I ever dare to go back to Rebecca?

I let myself fall onto the forest floor and let out a low wail. This was the best way out for my grief in this form.

_Leah!_

I got to my feet in the fraction of a second.

_I would say I'm glad you're there if only you could say the same. Instead... you want to hear 'I'm sorry'? _That was a familiar voice.

_Seth!_, I thought incredulously.

_Cool thing I can actually hear you over there._

I didn't reply to his excitement. Instead, I gave him a replay of what I'd just done. After that, I ran through all the strange things I'd come across within the last week – the legends, the conversations, the newspaper article.

Seth listened speechlessly until I finished.

_There are werewolves on Hawaii, too?_

_What?_, I replied. Suddenly, it fell into place. _You got it, Seth. I didn't._

_Really? Wow._

_Is anyone else around right now? Where's Jacob?_

_The same as ever – you want me to get him?_

I could feel him tense for the run already.

_No, give it a rest. Help me figure the rest out first._

_You haven't?_

_No. I've been trying not to solve any mystery here. I wanted to be human here. And there, all I get is another bunch of shitty myth crap!_, I cussed.

Seth didn't share my opinion of course. He tried to hide a thought, but it slipped out anyway.

_It can't take too long to swim the ocean to Hawaii._

_Seth, are you crazy?_

_No. It'll be fun. The pack will come over and hunt up those vampires._

_I don't think so._

_Let's see what Jacob says. _His voice was smug. Did he really believe he could lure Jacob away from his Renesmee just to kill a bunch of leeches far away from home?

Okay – maybe the first part wouldn't be easy, but the second part would do the job.

_Would you please wait, anyway? He'll know soon enough._

He sighed impatiently. _Fine._

_So... there are vampires on the Big Island._, I prompted._  
_

_Yes. And?_

_I thought you could tell me._

_I can only tell you my theory._

_Go ahead, then, already._

He hesitated. I picked the thought from his mind regardless.

_What if there are werewolves on Hawaii? But... different ones? Werewolves that cannot defeat vampires?_

_What kind of werewolf would that be?_, I asked ironically. _Useless._

_No!_, Seth exclaimed. _Remember the stories you read!_

I tried to find the clue, but my mind was still not working right. _Tell me._, I demanded impatiently.

_The man-eating spirits._

I remembered my reaction to that and how I'd drawn a connection to bloodsuckers at once.

_There were shape-shifter _dogs_, you said. And they defeated the man-eating spirits. But they are not the same as vampires!_ He was excited by his assumption.

_That's what Mikala said, too_., I allowed.

_Mikala is a were_dog_!_, Seth resumed, seeming absolutely thrilled._ They can take down spirits, but not real vampires. We ought to help them!_

I rolled my eyes. Why did he have to jump to that conclusion?

_Let me tell Jake, please!_

I pictured him bouncing up and down like he'd done as a little boy.

He sighed. _Why not? He'll know anyway._

_Would you please let me think about this further before you set the pack on red alert?_

_What's there to think about?_ He itched for the fight. Oh, great.

I was distracted from the conversation when I heard the thrumming of heavy paws on the forest floor. I cocked my head and listened.

Before I could see anything, the wind shifted and I smelled them. I smelled a pack of canines coming my way.

Seth was alert, too. He longed to be with me right now and was annoyed he could only see it through my eyes.

They brushed through the woods at full speed. An instant later, seven large dogs – about the size of ponies, but still much smaller than me – came into view. When they caught sight of me, they slowed and paced in my direction warily, forming a loose line.

I stepped forward with confidence. I knew I could not take seven of them, although I figured that they couldn't be nearly as strong as I was. There couldn't be so much power necessary to destroy a spirit.

I was braced for anything as I stood there, staring them down. Seth watched eagerly, every muscle of his twitching in anticipation.

"Leah."

My head jerked around at the sound of my name. _This_ was something I wasn't braced for.

There was no human around and it wasn't Seth's voice.

I turned back to the dogs, hoping my distraction hadn't been a disadvantage.

"Leah." I started again, but this time the voice was clearly from in front of me.

_Yeesh, a speaking dog._, Seth snickered in my head.

I stared back at the big dark brown dog in front of me. It looked not like any dog breed I recognized, but I didn't know much about dog breeds anyway.

"Leah. You've been scaring me to death. Well, almost."

I didn't grasp his meaning. I needed Seth's sharp senses again. _That's Mikala._, he thought, amazed.

"Well. I assume that maybe you are less surprised of my secret now than I was of yours."

I didn't reply. I could only nod. There was an advantage these speaking dogs had. Although it seemed like he couldn't read my mind. _That_ was asolutely relieving.

"You can't talk, do you?" And suddenly, he started laughing.

I gave him a questioning look, wondering about his sense of humour right now.

"Leah... would you mind... shifting so we could talk?"

I stared at him like he'd lost his mind. _Well, I'd appreciate some clothing._, I thought, before I remembered only Seth could hear. _Help me, bro, how do I tell him?_, I pleaded.

_Maybe use sign language? Scratch something into the dirt?_, he proposed. I rolled my eyes. Sign language. Right. _How about the morse alphabet?_

_Give it a try._ Seth chuckled in amusement.

_Thanks for your immense help, Seth._

_You're welcome._

_I should take cash for featuring your entertainment TV._

_Oh, please. Well... maybe wait for him to suggest something else._

_Best idea probably._, I agreed.

"Mh. What else can I say to you... I am so amazed about how this turned out. Fate must have sent you here."

Yeah, sure. To torture me more. How foolish of me to believe I could escape. I growled silently.

"Leah... you still have a home with us. And I wanted to say... I'm sorry I was threatening you this morning. I don't know what that was. Though... I'm still glad it led to these results."

I growled again, this time at him personally.

_Leah!_, Seth complained. _We are family. Don't be that way._

_Family? _I am_ family, Seth. These are in no way related to us._

Seth didn't give in._ They are mythical creatures. And they are shape-shifters, too. They are friends, at least._

_Yeah, right. Your leeches are friends, too._

Seth rolled his eyes. _Leah – you ought to admit that these dogs are much closer to potential friends than the Cullen's are – to you, at least._

_I give you that much._

"I can't force you to return. I'm inviting you. That's the only thing I can do."

I nodded again. The Mikala-dog nodded back at me and turned around. The others followed instantly. A moment later, they started running back into the forest. I blinked.

_Seth?_

_Yes?_

_Please tell me this was all in my mind._

He laughed. _It was in my mind, too. And... I could only see what you saw. And that was very vivid. I don't think you have enough fantasy for that._

I growled at him, but it was no serious sound.

I stood there for a while, contemplating. Mikala had said it was okay for me to come... home. Besides that, I was dead curious to hear about those... weredogs.

_Me, too._, Seth added, longing.

I rolled my eyes. _I'll call you or something. I won't promise I'll tell you as a wolf._

_We're going to help. It's Jacob's sister. She's in danger, too. He will come._, he stated confidently.

_Well... if I've got you on the phone right now... how's mum?_

_She's fine. Well... she misses you. I'm trying to be home more often for her sake._

_She's got Charlie. But... it's great, Seth. Tell her I said hi. But maybe you can spare her the whole story._

_Sure._

While we were talking about mum, I was already running. I was headed for home. It was about breakfast time. With enough luck, Pili would be off to school already. How did they manage to keep it from him anyway?

Before I reached the edge of the forest, I smelled something familiar. A stride later, I could see a colorful patch on the ground before me. I trotted over to it and found a set of my clothes someone – probably Rebecca – had laid out for me.

_Damn._

_What?_

Oh. I'd all but forgotten I had someone in my mind again. _This morning, I've shredded the blue t-shirt I was so fond of._

Seth rolled his eyes.

_It was _you_ who asked._

_Bye, Leah._

_Seth? Don't keep waiting for me to be wolf again. That won't happen._

Seth didn't reply, but he must have noticed that even I wasn't sure that my words would remain true. Even his silence sounded smug.

_Bye, Seth._, I laughed.

I carefully lifted my clothes up with my muzzle and carried them into the shelter of the trees.

I closed my eyes and it took me less effort than I'd feared to phase back. Quickly, I put on my clothes and walked toward the back gate of the Hookano's property.

So I'd lost it. My strength hadn't even lasted a week before I got weak enough. It was oddly comforting that I had not completely betrayed the secret. If Mikala was part of the supernatural world, too, it was hardly a terrible fault. But it still was my temper failure.

Chagrined, I headed for the door, braced for whatever would happen now.


	9. Interrogations

_Wow. It's Chapter 9 already and I'm still dead excited about writing it... that's a good thing, because I really want to know how all my ideas will weave into the story... but, for now, enjoy this chapter. It was interesting how you who reviewed the previous chapters guessed from the very beginning that she would actually discover other shape shifters there... it's what I planned from the beginning, but it seems to be too obvious... but, well, enjoy anyway :)_

**Chapter 9 - Interrogations**

"Lee! Oh, I'm so glad you're back home!" Rebecca ran towards me the very instant I crossed the treshold. She embraced me and squeezed me like I was the Prodigal Son finally returning home.

Well – and it seemed like she was not bothered at all that I was not completely human. Which was probably normal, she was married to a shape-shifter, after all.

"Becky, I'm so sorry.", I blurted. "I thought I'd had it under control now, and I didn't want to endanger you or scare you... but...but..."

She put her finger to my lips. "Shh. Nobody blames you."

"I do.", I negotiated. "I shouldn't have come here. It was such a foolish idea. I should have made sure..."

"Lee. It's alright. We're glad you're here and... we are quite surprised of this new turn of events..."

Just as if on clue, Mikala came over from the living room.

"Leah! Welcome back. I'm truly glad to have you here again. You ought to tell us everything."

I frowned. Was I allowed to tell – _everything_?

But... they were part of the supernatural, too, and there was no Alpha's command specifically hindering me from telling anything. Jacob had kept his vow that he would not steal anyone's will from him – or her. It had worked all the years. We followed him out of our free will, and I knew from first source that this pleased him immensely. He was a good Alpha. I smiled at the thought.

"Well? What about it?", Mikala pressed, his face intense and curious.

"Mika... won't we go sit down in the living room? What kind of host are you?", Rebecca scolded her husband and nudged him tenderly.

"You are right, darling. I'm sorry, Leah. Don't mind my curiosity."

We stepped over to the living room where we sat on the canapee.

Mikala sat across from me in an old armchair, gazing into my face expectingly.

I breathed a deep breath and looked first at Mikala, then at Rebecca. "Ok... how much have you guessed about me already?"

"You're a werewolf.", Mikala laughed, still a little impatiently.

"Right. I am. Oh, to be honest, I'm only... a shape-shifter. That's a bit complicated to explain... and it's not that important anyway..." I was still trying to figure out how much I could – and should – tell them. Probably, the supernatural world was stretched out farther than they knew – just like it was for me. I'd never thought there were shape-shifters except for us and the _Children of the Moon_ – the real wolves. I shook my head.

"Could you explain nonetheless?", Mikala asked.

I sighed. "Fine. I'll try. Well... our ability to shift shapes – from human to wolf, and back of course – is passed on genetically. Only the descendants of the first shape shifter, Taha Aki, pass the gene on.

And... for some reason, I have inherited it, too. If you like, I can tell you the whole legend of how we came to be shape-shifters, but maybe another time."

Mikala nodded in agreement. "And... what's the difference between shape-shifters and... uh... real werewolves?"

I laughed. I'd heard that term more than once already. What was it that made _us_ the unreal wolves?

"There are other werewolves whose ability is not passed on genetically, but by infection. That's where most werewolf legends are coming from. You might have noticed I am not limited by full moon nights."

Was there really something like pride in my voice?

"Right. Uh... when you said "our"...how many wolves are there?"

I frowned. "I'm not sure I'm allowed to tell. There are things like... pack secrets that we are obliged to keep."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Well... there are some. Many of whom you know, Rebecca." I looked at Becky, who had listened quietly until now.

Her eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes. I do only give you one name, though... your brother is the Alpha wolf of my pack."

The pride again. I hadn't known I really was so fond of _our pack..._

Rebecca gasped. "Jacob is a werewolf?"

"Yes." I watched her emotions as she processed that.

"Oh. That's something I need to wrap my head around."

"There's much you need to wrap your head around. After all... the Quileute stories you knew all along and never believed are _all true_."

Before Rebecca could reply, Mikala joined the conversation again. "I've got another question, still. Do you know...why you're changing? What's the purpose of the Quileute shape-shifters?"

I hissed involuntarily, as always when I was reminded of the reason why I had to put up with all this shit. All this shit I was more fond of than I'd thought myself...

I answered by asking another question. "How much do you know about the... er... other creatures in this world?"

"I know the Hawaiian legends. Spirits, however good or bad, are most of these."

"The man-eating spirits?", I asked.

Mikala raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You've read that story, didn't you?"

"Yes. The man-eating spirits are why you exist, right?"

"It's not only that purpose.", Miakala explained. "It's tribe protection in general. The man-eating spirits are – or were – one of them, but we protect the people from every other danger, as well. Thanks to us, our tribes here live in peace most of the time."

It was in his voice, too – this pride to belong.

"Up until recently, we were able to defeat whatever enemy entered our territory. But... there's something strange and creeping about what's going on now...", he mused silently, not too low for my ears, of course. It seemed like he was murmuring it to himself.

"I was going to come to this part.", I interrupted him.

"There is a...species that our people call the _Cold Ones_...", I went on. Rebecca looked up from her thoughtful stance. "I've heard that one.", she said.

I didn't want to tell the whole story now, so I decided to simply trust that they were tough enough for the truth. And, of course, that I was tough enough to keep calm, too.

"They are known to themselves and to the world's stories as... vampires." I spat the last word, supressing the disgust and the shaking that went along with it.

My audience gasped in shock, as I'd expected. I knew how odd it was, even when you lived with the supernatural, to wrap your head around yet another aspect of that scene you hadn't been aware of.

"Yes. They exist. And that is why we phase. We are the only creatures that can destroy the bloodsuckers."

Mikala looked at me like he wanted to say something, but I hurried to go on and tell Seth's theory.

"No, I believe that you can't take them down. You were obviously made to fight spirits or evil human foes. But you were not made to destroy vampires. - That's only a theory, of course."

The face of the man was suddenly grave again. He looked into my eyes and suddenly his expression was ruefully.

"Leah, you are right. Your theory fits. And you were also right this morning, when you accused me to be lying. I was lying to you, about... the car crash. About my friend."

"I figured that out, too. Keeping the supernatural a secret means lying to everyone you love except those who are in it. I know that." While I spoke, my voice grew softer, understandingly. I wanted to let him see my sympathy for his situation. I could empathize in a way. I'd lost someone very close to me only a few years ago. I knew the pain. But of course, beside the pain, there was the rage, burning against the creatures that had stolen life again, triggering the instincts of the wolf self to avenge, to rip the lifesucker to pieces. I looked into Mikala's face and there, between the pain in his eyes, was the same fierce anger, too.

And I suddenly knew we would be fighting here, side by side, wolves and dogs, until Hawaii was safe again.

Rebecca left the room to look after Kaili, whom she brought back to the living room alongside with a teapot.

Mikala ran out of questions eventually, or he already had enough to process.

Kaili stretched on Rebecca's lap and pointed her tiny fingers in my direction. With a smile, Rebecca handed her over to me.

"Mikala?", I adressed him after another short while. He looked up from his thoughtful reverie.

"Now you know my story... and I am quite curious about yours."

"Ah. Right." He smiled at me, though his eyes still held the grief and the rage. I sipped at my tea and looked at him in expectation.

"Where should I begin?", he mused silently. "You know how we came to be, right?"

I nodded. "What about your pack? How does it all work?"

"Quite easy. You said you've got an Alpha – it's the same with us. He's leading us and all that. We communicate by speaking to each other in human voices, as you have heard yourself. That's quite helpful if we have to cooperate."

I interrupted him by laughing triumphantly. It was kind of a knee-jerk reaction. "We can top that. We can hear each others _thoughts_ when we're wolves."

His eyes bulged. "Really? Huh, that's something."

"Yes. But it's also quite disturbing. We can't decide what we want to tell the others. Everything, even the personal things, is heard by every other wolf in the pack." I flinched.

"Oh. I see. And... it's really like voices in your head?" His curiosity reminded me of Pili, and now I knew where the boy got it from.

"More than that. We can sort of feel it... at least almost. We see through the other's eyes."

I could tell Mikala was impressed, but I wanted to know more about his species.

"What's it like for you to phase? Does anger work as a trigger, too?"

"Yeah. It's quite the same as your phasing. It happened to me in the past, that involuntary shifting when something caught me off guard. I've got it under control quite well now... but it took me a while." He smiled at me in understanding. I smiled back and shot another question at him.

"So you're sort of inheriting it from your ancestors, but not genetically...?" I trailed off to hear his explanation.

He nodded. "Yes. It is sort of a ceremony. Before the ancient dog man dies, he would summon his dog spirit into a charm woven from hair of the dog's body. This charm is then burned along with some hair of the heir, who is in general the closest relative to the dog man. The dog spirit is released from the charm and enters the one to whom the hair belonged."

"Wow.", I breathed. There was much more superstitious, ritual air to it than to my heritage. It was almost creepy, hadn't I been this tough.

"What if someone dies... you know, before that ceremony? Without the chance to transfer the spirit?"

"The spirit is transferred at the time when the dog man decides to retire and lets go of his dog spirit. The heir – or heiress – is initiated soon after that decision."

I'd wanted to hear him out, but the addition of the heiress distracted me naturally.

"What about the heiresses? What does it feel like to them? Don't they get a choice?"

Mikala looked like he didn't get the point of my question. "Why would they want a choice?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't get words out.

"It is a privilege and an honor to be a tribe protector. Everyone would freely trade everything they have for it."

I shook my head in confusion and felt the bitterness creep up to me again.

"I didn't get a choice. And I wouldn't have taken the choice if I would have gotten the options."

He looked at me as if I had lost my mind. "Why?"

I _so_ not wanted to explain this to him, but it seemed like he needed to understand.

I looked down and played with Kaili's hair. "Well. I don't get any older. I have to-"

"You...what?"

"I am not aging. None of us are. We go through a growth spurt... I mean, I'm twenty-two years old now, and I look like that, but I'm... not going to change. As long as I am phasing, I will _not age_." I spoke the last words through my teeth. "I have to share my mind with a bunch of guys, because, for crying out loud, I am the only female there. Speaking of female, I'm not even _that_ anymore! I'm menopausal, nothing is changing at all!"

I blushed deeply after those words had slipped out.

"Oh.", Mikala replied and looked down. "It is... not like that for our tribe protectors. They lead a normal life, they are aging and having families. Being a dog man – pardon me, a dog woman, of course – is just like a normal job to them, a complimentary duty. Besides their patrols and the fights against enemies now and then, they live their lives in a normal way. Why should they not choose this path? Should they rather let their tribe die?"

I realized that tears streamed down my face. I knew those tears. They were an expression of the burden my fate brought to me. It was hard to learn that there were women in the mythical world from whom I'd thought they shared my fate, but who could live their lives just fine. Just like they were normal. So it was only me again.

"Leah, I am sorry. I didn't want to disturb you."

"I'm fine.", I choked. "So... what happens if... a dog is killed in an accident?", I asked to distract myself.

He dropped his gaze to the floor. "They're lost."

"Oh." I wasn't the only one suffering here. That didn't change my pain of course.

"Well... our legends say that the dog spirits escape the dying body. But without a host, they would wander in the spirit world aimlessly. We don't know what happens to them."

It sounded intriguing. There was something close to the Quileute legends and the spirit world the Spirit Warriors had travelled in. I wondered if it was the same.

Kaili stirred on my lap and I let her pull me out of the supernatural for now. I'd both heard and told enough of this for now.

Rebecca sensed the end of the conversation and stood. I looked at the clock. "Oh, crap. Pili's classes are almost over by now. Should I go get him?"

Rebecca nodded. "If that's okay with you. I don't want to ask too much of you right now..."

"No, that's fine. I need distraction anyway. Does this...stuff never creep you out?" She hadn't said much in our discussion, but she'd listened with a composed stance and truly interested in everything I told her.

She smiled. "I wonder why I never suspected anything when I was living at home in the reservation. It's so obvious, now I know... No, it doesn't creep me out. I know from the beginning that Mikala is something more than human. It took a while to get used to that, but by now..."

I smiled back at her. "It takes some toughness to get by with this. You're so good at it."

She embraced me warmly. "So are you. Heaven knows, you're so much better, so much tougher than me... oh Lee, it's so amazing what came out today."

I could agree, though it wasn't what I'd planned. Not at all. Still, I couldn't be irritated about it anymore. I wondered why it was so natural and relieving to be in that world again, to know all the secrets. How was that fair? I didn't know. But I would shove it aside for now and spend an afternoon with Pili.


	10. Center

**Chapter 10 - Center**

Things went sort of back to normal after that fateful morning. I wondered how Rebecca and Mikala managed to keep the secret from the curious boy who would hardly give in when he wanted an answer. Well, luckily, he was full of trust in whatever you said, that made it easy to make him believe what you told him. But lying to him was nothing I'd voluntarily do.

We had been to the forest again and he was all caught up in tracing a fox, leaving me time to think things through again.

Even by the time we were back home, I was still wondering about these new insights.

I let my thoughts wander to everything I'd learned today. How everyone _wanted_ to be a tribe protector... but how did they know of it? It was a secret, wasn't it? In our tribe, only the exclusive secret society knew about it. I wondered sometimes how it was possible that the rest of the tribe was so oblivious to what was going on. Was it different here? I would have to ask Mikala about the gaps in my picture of the Hawaiian shape-shifters. And... there was another kind of meeting needed.

The packs – both Quileute packs and this dog pack – would have to discuss strategy. At first, I needed more information about the situation. We had only talked about the traits of our own species, but we hadn't discussed the current issue at all.

How many of those bloodsuckers were on the Island? Were they newborns or mature leeches?

How many of us would be needed to take them down? Would the dogs be of any use?

I fell into bed very tired this evening right after dinner.

There was something exciting about dealing with the mythical stuff all day. My dreams were dealing with bloodsuckers and evil spirits and whatever I'd heard today, but that was nothing. These dreams looked tame next to the nightmares providing Sam's denial as my personal hell.

Even the battle ahead was something I looked forward to, if it would only make me forget about Sam.

When I got up in the morning, I felt more rested than the nights before. Surprisingly, Mikala was at home for once. He was in the kitchen with Rebecca and the children, sipping coffee from a large blue mug.

Pili looked up at me. "Hey Leah! I'm going to bring-..", he started talking, the rest becoming unintelligible due to his mouth full of cornflakes. "Pili, you better swallow your cornflakes. They're doing better in your stomach than on the wall paper.", I advised him.

Mikala was feeding Kaili, but he seemed tensed. I figured he wanted to discuss it further and all but waited for his son to be at school.

My assumption proved true soon. The moment Rebecca went to take the boy out of the house, Mikala turned over to me to shoot another question into my face.

"How does it work, destroying those... vampires?"

I concentrated on Kaili to keep calm.

"Easy." I gritted my teeth. "We rip them apart. Later, they need to be burned."

"Okay. That sounds...easy. But they are so strong." He shook his head in denial and despair.

I wondered if the dog's numbers were a secret, too, but he spoke without me having to ask.

"There were two of them at once. We were twelve. She...or it, what do I call them?... just ripped Hiapo apart..." He shuddered in deep horror. I felt like I might explode every moment, but I fought it back to the recesses. There was strategy to discuss instead of simple rage. That never helped...

"Only two? Hum... that would be easy to take for my pack...", I mumbled. I wouldn't mind to have _my_ pack here, but I wasn't too fond of getting Sam and his pack here, too.

My gaze fell upon the newspaper that lay on the table, and the headlines, again. I grabbed the paper and scanned the article concerning the increase of murder on the Big Island.

Mikala watched me curiously. I looked up. "It sounds like it will be more than two."

His eyes widened. "How do you know?" "The statistics and the numbers. I'm not exactly sure how much these... _leeches_ are sucking a night, but I think this can't be only two."

"What does that mean?", he asked, alarmed. "It means that we might need the whole packs. But it would be... better to know. To be sure and braced for it."

"What does that mean?", he asked. Obviously, I was in command now.

"We need to check. Run patrols."

He nodded. "We've not been running patrol since... Hiapo died. We didn't know how to proceed."

"Okay. I'm not sure... whether they would attack you themselves if you didn't strike first... maybe we ought to take that risk."

"Sure. There's a tribe to protect.", he said, his pride and fierce commitment back in place.

"I will call up a meeting."

Immediately, he was out of the room and in the garden, where he pulled a native looking instrument out of his pocket. It was a kind of flute. When he played it, there was a high-pitched sound coming from it. I suddenly started giggling as it reminded me of a dog whistle, too low for human ears to hear, but perfectly clear for dogs. Um... maybe that was the point. It sounded odd. But it probably was a good way to get the pack over here in no time.

I was right. It didn't take long until the door bell rang. Mikala went to answer it and came back with three people. He led them into the living room and introduced them to me. "Leah, these are Ikaika and Luana", he gestured to a dark haired couple that eyed me curiously. "And this is Kapa'a."

I nodded. "Nice to meet you." I let my gaze linger on the woman. Her skin was a warm brown, dark eyes and delicate features. She seemed to be at ease and very content with this task, like she'd volunteer for it. Probably she would, all of them would.

"People, this is Leah, a friend of my wife, and, as you know by now, a heiress of the Quileute's mythical secret."

The stares got even more curious as he mentioned it so clearly. I settled for another hour of awed looks and explaining the wolf thing.

"Very nice to get to know you.", the smaller of the two men, probably Kapa'a, said and stepped closer to me to take my hand. He seemed to be the oldest of them, in his sixties maybe as I assumed from his gray hair, while Luana and Ikaika seemed to be in their late thirties. Ikaika looked exactly like the Quileute wolf men – very tall and muscular. There was something intimidating in his stance. If I were a normal human girl, I would have been afraid of him if I'd encounter him alone in a dark alley...

While I considered that, Kapa'a still held my hand in both of his and searched for my eyes. His were deep and sincere, and they seemed very vital, not at all affected by age. There was a wise look in them and I got a feeling like I could see right through them to his soul. I was certain it was full of kindness through and through. "We are pleased that you have been sent here to help us protect the tribe.", he said in a deep, warm voice.

I frowned. That was so not why I'd been coming here. But it seemed like I'd better get used to that.

"Yes. I am glad to be able to help you.", I replied politely. He let go of my hand, gave me a friendly smile and went to sit on the couch.

There was a rap at the back door and I wondered why whoever it was didn't come from the front side. When he let himself in, I saw a man wearing only shorts, and I could guess at the reason. Some were too impatient to use a car. I was familiar with that.

Mikala stood and greeted him. "Nui. This is Leah, a friend of my wife."

"Welcome, Leah.", he said in a quiet voice, before he went to sit on the couch next to his fellow tribe members. I eyed him, too, trying not to stare. Like Ikaika, he was muscular, even more perceptible in lack of a shirt. It was obvious their own double life had the same bodybuilding effect on them like it had on us. Well, first and foremost on the boys. It seemed like at least my lack of testosterone had thwarted that my body would look like I was an oversized, brawny male. Thank whoever it was for that, even though that was one of the few things I was grateful for.

They trailed in very close after another now. Mikala introduced us and I tried to keep all the names straight. Three women were the next to arrive – Pua, Makani, and Ka Hiwa, he called them.

I greeted them, once again captured by the thought that these women were here by choice. And that they didn't have to sacrifice so much of their femininity for this as I did.

Besides that, I noticed they were beautiful, graceful even. Pua was dressed in a short white-and-pink skirt and a matching pink top. It was supplemented by a pink flower in her hair, very clichée-like. The other two were less dressy, more ordinarily, but still, they looked pretty.

I'd almost forgotten how to notice these girly-things, forgotten how to be a beautiful woman myself, surrounded by guys and sharing their thoughts. That, for sure, wasn't a pleasant thing. It'd given me identity disorder, I suspected.

Now, there were four men – including Mikala – and four women in the living room, which seemed quite crowded. Another time, the door bell rang. When Mikala returned with a man, I could feel the reverence echoeing from every corner of the room. This must have been their Alpha. I stood to greet him. Even though physically he was smaller than Ikaika and Nui, it still seemed like he towered over them. Like Billy Black – the majestic radiance almost overpowered everything else. I doubted very much that any human authority could have the same impact as this mythical Alpha thing had.

Sensing my gaze which I could hardly tear away from him, he adressed me. His voice was deep and reminded me of the double timbre of an Alpha's command – which was not a pleasant memory, but still filled me with reverence.

"I am Keli'i, chief of the dog men. It is very amenable to meet you in your human form eventually."

So he must have been with the dogs that had encountered me in the forest.

"I'm glad to get to know the Alpha of the Big Island.", I said and automatically took a position that showed his superiority. It was a wolf instinct to accept authority without any second thought to it.

He laughed a deep, throaty laugh which I couldn't construe, then he took his seat across from the others. It seemed there was a more distinct hierarchy here than in our pack. Our pack was more based on friendship. Well, Jacob's pack, at least. Maybe the other pack would have worked in the same way, if not for the _bitter harpy_ I had become. I knew they wouldn't have told me that to my face, but it'd slipped out anyway. From more than one pack member. I snarled under my breath at that thought. I was absolutely relieved to be free of the reason why I'd turned bitter at first.

A few raps on the back door and door bell rings on the front door later, the living room was so crowded I supposed if another person came in, the house would burst. The last ones to arrive were two men, similiar in appearance to the others, but even more distinct in their behaviour. The leaner, smaller man, Ku'uaki, looked around like he was braced for anything, which made me feel edgy myself. I wondered if this was in proof to the appropriety of his name, which meant "guardian", as Mikala had explained to me, or if there really was danger anywhere close. The other seemed to share his lot of the Alpha's predominance.

"Mano is Second-in-Command.", Mikala told me. Ah. So he was, sort of, my level. Gaining confidence, I watched him. My eyes traced his features. Like Ikaika and Nui, he was quite tall and muscular. I supposed the three of them made for the strongest of this pack, considered physical force.

I let my gaze wander across the assembly, counted twice and was stunned. There were eleven of them. Well, less than the Quileute pack had been before the splitting, but still it was amazing.

Rebecca had returned in the middle of this arriving scene and fit easily into the living room, leaving me wondering how she managed without seeming bothered by the crowdy circumstances.

Keli'i stood and looked at each member of his pack, then at me.

"We have a very intriguing guest here. She's not a guest only, but a help, maybe our solution. We are here today to save our tribe, and she is here to be a great help."

I sighed. I didn't want to be looked up to like I was any vital character. Well, being that wasn't that bad, but it still made me feel uncomfortable. Especially when each pair of eyes in the room was turned in my direction, looking at me like there was really some central role I'd play, something only _I_ could achieve.

Keli'i gestured me to speak. I cleared my throat as I awkwardly stood up. It was a stretch to have moved from the unwanted odd one out to the center point.

"Um... as you might know, I am from the Quileute tribe. There is a tribe secret close to yours. We are shape-shifters as you are, only there are different abilities. Though we descend from Spirit Warriors, we are not limited to defy spirits. There are... creatures in this world you now know about, but couldn't classify before. They are not the man-eating spirits. They are... _vampires_."

I wasn't the only one who shuddered at the use of that term. Even though most of them had never heard of that to be true before, they all knew I was right.

"We, in our wolf form, are able to destroy them, while it seems like your kind can't."

There was a low hiss from one of them, so I hurried to go on. "I don't mean any disrespect. I'm only stating what you already had to learn." I dropped my gaze. How could I gain their trust and understanding?

Mikala rose and saved me. "Leah's pack from the Quileute tribe is willing to help us protecting our tribe and the whole island. What she needs is to get an overview on how many of those... _bloodsuckers_ are here.", he stated. I threw him a grateful look.

"She needs us to patrol the island to find out."

The room erupted in approving sounds very rapidly, they were on their feet at once, standing ready for protecting their tribe. I wished, at once, that I could share that undivided pride.

I rose to speak again. "If you find them... don't attack them. You are not suited for their brute strength. To be sure, it takes at least two of my kind to take one of them down. In addition, we need to know if they are experienced older ones or if they are young to that parasite's life. If they are young, they will be even stronger, but if they're old, they might be trained as fighters. That might be even more dangerous."

They nodded, but it was clearly awkward and uncomfortable to them that they felt weak, easily opposable, in need of other mythical creatures to help them out.

But as it looked, there was no way around it. And there was, at least, enough pride in my being that I was not going to bail out and leave them to their inevitable fate.

Once again, I would stand with my pack and fight. Against the leeches instead of with them.

* * *

A/N: Um... the "dog whistle" seems a bit ridiculous to me by now... don't mind me ;) I still think it's funny, though^^


	11. Again

_Sorry, Sorry, folks... I've had a quite busy weekend, graduation and everything... I managed it today after sleeping in... and I hope you like the new chapter. As much as I hope I'll be able to get at least one or two more chapters published this week... but well, enough of my lamentations, enjoy this chapter... and, yes, I've already missed the conversation in the pack mind...glad they're back. :D_

**Chapter 11 - Again**

This was so odd.

Exactly a week ago, I'd made the resolution to quit my wolf, to turn my back on that life.

Two days ago, I'd had another temper failure and lost control.

Today, I was willingly phasing again.

I made sure I was deep enough into the forest that no one could see me anymore. I undressed, putting my clothes in a neat stack and laid them down under a tree. I would detect the place easily by following my own human scent.

Phasing was so easy and familiar, oddly comforting. Like... coming home? No. Not that. But something closer to this term than I was willing to admit.

The shaking intensified and I let the wolf break free, letting it have my mind and soul to indwell the body it provided itself.

Right the moment I was all wolf, I heard cheery voices in my head.

_There it goes again..._, I hummed in thoughts.

_Leah! You're home._, Seth cheered.

_Yes._, I replied with too little aversion to it.

_Welcome back._, Quil thought. I could see he was running, and enjoying it of course.

_Leah, cool to hear from you._, Embry chimed in.

_Hey, guys._

I couldn't help but smile internally at the earnest delight of all of them to have me rejoin the pack. They were accepting me, and they liked my company. _That_ was so much better than being only _less annoying than Paul_...

_Where's Jacob?_, I asked, still trying to hold back the breaking news.

_What kind of question is that?_, Embry chuckled.

_Ah. I see._ I rolled my eyes.

_Want me to drag him out by my teeth?_, he volunteered.

_That's not necessary. I'm in howling distance._, Seth replied.

_Good. Call him._

I could hear Seth's howl through all of their thoughts. Hopefully, Jacob wasn't too absorbed in babysitting to get here.

_Hey, even I am here._, Quil stated. _It's a pack thing... we've been waiting for you._

I growled silently. _Seth... I told you not to wait for me._

Seth was smug. _See – I was right. Got the right idea to wait. C'mon, Leah, let us hear the whole story. What's going on with these dogs?_

Suddenly, all of the guys were all ears.

_Couldn't we wait for Jacob?_

_No._, Seth laughed, already picking thoughts from my mind like ripping little pieces from gift wrap paper to peek at the present.

_Sethee, are you trying to be annoying?_, I called him by his toddler nick name.

_No. I'm succeeding._

I laughed. _Right._

Finally, we felt Jacob phasing.

_Hey, Jacob._, I greeted him.

_Leah, welcome._ He didn't seem surprised at all that I was here. I supposed that was because Seth had told him everything he knew, and not because he suspected me to be weak enough anyway.

_Hey, Jake!_, the guys echoed at the same time.

_Let's hear the story!_, Seth pressed again.

_Okay..._

I sighed at his impatience, then I gave them a slow and detailed rerun of yesterday's meeting.

There was stunned silence as they took it in.

_Wow._, Embry thought at last. _There are shape-shifters on Hawaii._

_There are _vampires_ on Hawaii! What're we waiting for?_, Quil exclaimed.

Seth was just as eager. Just the way I knew those kids.

_Leah, I'm seventeen. I'm not a kid anymore._, Seth objected.

_You're still as reckless as two years ago, though._

_Leah, Seth – stop that. We've got to think about this matter objectively._, Jacob reminded us.

_We need more information about their numbers and as much knowledge concerning their... abilities. We need to know their extent of strength so we can evaluate if Sam's pack will be necessary. Maybe we'll need twelve more. If there are really more than two bloodsuckers, we should ask for support just to make sure._

I noticed how the term _bloodsucker_ sounded almost too tame in Jacob's thoughts. His leech friends were brainwashing him. I wondered if he could fight others of their kind without feeling regret to kill _people_... the sarcasm in my thoughts left an acid taste in my mouth. And of course Jacob had heard it, too. Was one week enough to forget how to keep my thoughts hidden?

_Leah, I'm still committed to this. Bloodsuckers who are murdering people have to be destroyed and that is my calling. It's just the Cullen's who are different. And... just so you know, I still hate Blondie._, he explained himself.

_Good to know. _Wow. One leech he still hated.

_Maybe not even because she's a leech. More because of her personality. Being a leech doesn't help either, but I believe I'd even hate her if she was human._, he added.

_Ouch..._, I laughed, and the tension was broken.

_Well if she was human, it wouldn't be so much fun, though. I couldn't ever throw heavy items on a human girl._

I wasn't the only one to laugh as he showed us how he was flipping stones at the back of her head whenever she was out of the house and in reaching distance.

He only did it when Renesmee didn't see it, because she didn't want him to hurt her Rose.

Well – that was at least strong enough for him to do it in secret.

_It doesn't hurt her. It only annoys her. That is the point!_, Jacob chuckled.

Somehow Jacob was exactly the kind of kid Seth was. Or maybe it was because they all were males.

_So tell us what are the really important matters in life, oh Fair Lady._, he mocked me.

_Um... how about a bunch of bloodsuckers on the Big Island?_

_Yay!_, Seth thought. _We're wasting time here. Let's go!_

_What about Mum?_, I asked him.

_Oh. Uh... maybe I should head back and tell her where I'm going._

_You better do. Tell her I love her._

_Kay. _With that, I sensed him racing already.

_Seth., _I sighed._ It's not like there are only five minutes left._

_How do we proceed?_, Jacob asked.

I frowned in confusion. _Who's the Alpha? I was under the impression you were._

He laughed. _Yes, I am. And Alpha Jacob is asking for your advice, beta. You are there. You know it first hand. What would you do?_

_Oh._ So there I was, in the center stage again.

_I advised the dogs to run patrol to get to know the enemy. But I wonder if the leeches will attack them even if the dogs don't strike first... I think I will patrol with them._, I told him.

_Very good._, Jacob approved. _Need some help already? I could send Seth and maybe Quil over there._

_Yes!_, Seth thought in delight, while Quil's anticipation was divided – sure, he wanted to come as soon as possible, but he could hardly stand to be away from Claire so long.

_And you?_, I asked Jacob. _Will you be with us? I think I can handle the exploration patrols with Seth and maybe... Embry if he wants. Maybe you both could tear yourselves away from your imprints for a while to join us in a fight?_

_Sure._, Jacob said, obviously contemplating whether he should be offended or admit I was right.

That instant, my ears caught a sound close by in the woods. I could hear the footfall of many paws on the forest floor.

_They're on their way to meet me._, I told my pack. _If you like, leave the radio on and I'll keep you in the loop._

I could almost feel Seth prick his ears at that.

Few seconds later, almost a dozen overgrown dogs ran my direction. I barked to greet them and it dawned upon me that there might be a slight communication problem. The dogs could speak out in a human voice, but probably that didn't work on a long distance. I, on the other hand, was capable of long-distance communication, but for that to be of use, they had to read my mind – which I was despite this inconvenience absolutely grateful they couldn't.

I waited until they reached me. As if on command, all of them sat down in a row beside each other. A little awkwardly, I sat down across from them, and looked at them in expectation what they were about to do.

"Hello Leah."

I startled slightly again when I heard the big black dog speaking out to me.

"I do not want to make you uncomfortable with this situation. It's not easy for us, either."

I recognized the voice of the pack's Alpha as soon as I got used to the odd fact that he was speaking as a dog. I wondered why it was such a stretch to imagine that.

I woofed again.

"Do you want us to patrol now? There are eleven of us. We can part. What would you propose?"

He looked at me like he was waiting for an answer. I tilted my head to the side, hoping he'd find the flaw himself.

"Oh, I am sorry. I suppose... I should suggest something and you might... add yes or no?"

I nodded. It annoyed me to be speechless, but there was no way around it. Maybe I should take my clothes with me next time so I might be able to phase and talk to them.

"What do you think of groups of two each?"

I waved my head from one side to the other. Two seemed a bit dangerous... just in case. But, uh, it was dangerous anyway...

"Three?", Keli'i proposed. I nodded in agreement.

Swiftly, the row of large dogs formed pairings of three, leaving an auburn and a pale brown dog aside. I slowly walked over to the two left ones, trying to convey that I would be running with them. I looked at Keli'i, questioning if this was okay, and he nodded.

"Mano and Makani know the island well. You will run _mokai_, the northern coastline, the Hilo forest reserve, Manowaialee, Hamakua, Pu'u O Umi et Kohala, to the northern headland. Way back across Ka'ūpūlehu, covering the whole north part of the island. Everything north from the Mauna Loa Reservation."

Even my wolf face must have shown my confusion, and I was glad to hear one of my fellow patrollers answer the Alpha in a sure voice.

"Yes, Ali'i Keli'i, we will." I looked at him, wondering who he was. In my head, I ran through all the names I'd learned yesterday, matching them to the faces, and, more helpfully, to the voices. I failed, to put it mildly. Yesterday had been quite a lot to consider, I came up blank on the names other than the Chief's.

The auburn dog looked back at me, and from his expression I supposed he'd tried to wink at me.

"My name is Mano. Second-in-Command here. But of course, I will let you lead on this mission."

I smiled a wolfy grin at him the best I could. _I don't know the location, so where's the point of leading?_, I tried to think very loud, but without too much success. _Right, I know what we're after, __I'm the great heroine here... but apart from that, I can't even _talk_ to you._

I rolled my eyes, and the two dogs standing close to me looked at me and tried to figure out what I thought. Unsuccessfully. And for the first time ever, I found it annoying not to have others read my mind.

_Hey, Leah... you still have me._

The way Seth chimed in was almost too sweet. Normally, I would have growled at him, but this time I couldn't. His thought was too caring, to companionable. It really gave me comfort.

_Thanks, Seth. I suppose... it's really an okay thing to have _you_ in my head._

He was proud and elated about this, I could tell. A new comradeship had evolved slowly during our time of running together.

Aside from him, the... _wolf channel_ was quiet. Jacob must have gone back to his... darling half-leech – _Sorry, Seth. Half-vampire_... - and Quil and Embry were gone, too.

"Leah?" A female voice claimed my attention, coming from the pale brown dog. "My name is Makani, if you remember me."

I nodded and managed to match her with the image of a dark haired, delicate woman, not the white-and-pink dressy one, but one of the other two. I hoped I had the right person in mind.

Keli'i rose to speak again. "We should start right now, there is a large area to cover here. If you come across one of the creatures, do not attack. I wonder if... our howling would draw their attention to us...?" He looked at me. I shrugged, unsure. Maybe they would bother, or maybe not.

The Alpha altered his question for me to answer it properly. "Should we give a signal by baying if we find one – or more?"

I shook my head. _It's an investigation patrol. Just what we need to know._

He sighed, obviously as uncomfortable as I was with the communication problem. But we would have to get along now.

"'Ohana a Kama'aina, let us go out to protect our tribe!", he declared, the Alpha's timbre resonating in his voice. The others cheered, and I chimed in with a bold howling, supported by Seth who howled with me from La Push, wishing to be with me now.

_Yes, I'd like that, too. You wanted to talk to mum before you...uh, swim over here, didn't you?_, I reminded him.

He didn't hide his eagerness and his fear to miss something if he phased. I laughed it off in my thoughts. _The earlier you talk to mum, the faster you'll be on your way. Good thing it's the holidays, huh?_, I teased.

_Yeah. See you, Leah. Don't get going without me!_

_That's up to your speed, bro._

_See you very soon, then. I bet I'll be there by tomorrow evening..._

_Dream on. You've got to swim an ocean._, I stated. I wondered if that was even possible, such a long distance... but then, why not? It was not like we weren't trained for long-distance and endurance.

_Okay then. But I'll be soon enough, I hope._

_I'll keep you in the loop about what's going on here._

_Good. Bye._

I felt him phasing and turned my attention back to the... er... real life. Each group was about ready to go, probably waiting for my command. How strange this was... I used to be second-in-command in my pack, but there was hardly an issue where anyone would be waiting for me to give a command. If anything was going on, Jacob was there, and if not, there was no need for orders anyway. So this was new – and difficult due to our communication challenge.

I walked to stand across from the dog pack, looked into each of their faces for a moment, then I barked as an encouragement and ran over to my patrol companions to begin the reconnaissance mission.

I gestured my two fellows to start running, and a second later, we were running at full speed, nose to the ground to take in the scents. It was the same as I'd done for such a long time in my life, and it was still familiar and natural to me, though this was such a strange and unexpected setting.

I felt the wind brush past me while I ran. This part hadn't changed at all.

* * *

_Author's Note: I had to do a lot of research again. I'm _trying_ to make it as realistic as possible, concerning the location. For that, I digged up some stuff on Hawaiian language etc... and I'm using my best friend Google Maps for nailing down the route our weredogs are going to patrol... if interested, check Google Maps, it's fun :)  
Anyway, please don't hit me if I'm unrealistic (I wonder if I am being unrealistic about Seth being able to swim over to Hawaii...)_


	12. Tonguetied

Hi hi, it's me again. Be warned, there's something going on here that's called Real Life. Beware, it might be contagious...

It kept me from writing, and I'm sorry for a) delaying this chapter, b) my feeling that this chapter might be somewhat flat (I think the end is better than the rest and c) my momentary laziness and creative low... I have to force myself to keep writing though I'd rather do something else. But I am determined to get this story going until I find a satisfying end. :)

Have fun with this chapter now. Italic are thoughts - you know the rules. The wolfs can hear them, the dog's can't, but sometimes she's directly thinking her answer anyway though they can't hear...

I'm not sure about whether the title is that good... but anyway. ;)

* * *

**Chapter 12 – Tongue-tied**

"Leah?", Mano's voice called over to me. He ran about five yards away from me. Makani had taken my other flank. We'd been running the coastline for the last two hours, approaching the northern head land. I cocked my head in Mano's direction, trying to convey that I was listening to him.

"There's something in the air. Do you smell it?"

I sniffed intently. There was a faint smell, faint enough that it didn't make the hair on my neck rise in disgust. But still, it was clearly the abominable, sweet scent of leeches.

I nodded in approval of Mano's senses. _Very good._

"Follow it?", he asked back. I was reminded of Seth's enthusiasm, though Mano was a few years older and more mature than Seth in his youthful presumption. With Mano, it was more dignity, if only slightly.

I hesitated. I still hated to be limited to Yes or No answers, being tongue-tied. I'd rather work with the two of them as equal partners instead of being regarded as the Alpha, sort of. They looked to me for commands, decisions, not for suggestions. _If we leave the trail, we might miss something. Otherwise, we're almost at the coast. There won't be much we couldn't have smelled from here._

_We should follow the trail while trying to stay close to our original path. Which won't work. Oh, never mind. Follow the trail, that's what we're after._

I nodded and we made a slight turn, noses up in the air. We hadn't found the real vampire track yet, only the faint stink in the air. So we would be following that scent until we would come across the trail.

Makani, running at my flank, was quiet. She hadn't said a word yet. I wondered if this was her usual behaviour or if it had to do with me or this patrol or the mission altogether. _Are you okay?_

Mano was taking the lead now, maybe it was unconsciously, because he was so caught up and ambitioned, or simply because he was used to being second-in-command. It was, sort of, relieving to just follow him while we ran. The scent got stronger, finally triggering the natural reaction my wolf being was providing. My nose wrinkled, the fur on my neck stood on end. I repressed a growl.

Mano looked back at me. "Is this alright?" I nodded. _We're getting closer._

I could feel Embry in my head right now. He was intently watching and listening to my thoughts, tensing with me.

_Want me to come over?_, he offered.

_Wait for Seth, please. Don't want him to go alone...,_ I replied, a little worried about my brother. He knew no risk, he just took it.

_Don't worry._, Embry laughed.

Mano beckoned me to come over. His nose was on the ground, he had found the track. The pale brown dog – Makani – followed me, sniffing the trail, too. It led south, but probably somewhat away from our planned patrol route.

Now that we were on the track, I could distinguish the smell – there were two different scents in here. So it were at least two. But I didn't think it would be only two. There had to be some more of them. We ran in unison, following the trail south. The double-scented track never parted, so it had to be a leech pair. That was bad enough. They really got pissed if you killed their mates... not that they would have too much time for lamenting or revenge, anyway...

"Leah, we're near Hilo again. Abandon the track and meet with the others? Running our assigned shift? Following the trail further?

Three options. Great. I let out one short baying noise. _We do not need to find them now. Maybe the others know more. Let's go check in with them._

"Oh, sorry. Meet the others?", he repeated. I gave him a nod. We left the trail and headed back to Hilo.

_Leah!_

_Hi, Seth. What's up?_, I greeted my brother.

_I'm about to go, but Mum wouldn't let me swim over. She says I can't._, he grumbled.

I laughed. I had to admit I was a bit relieved.

_I'll take a plane, then. Embry is coming with me._

_Good. Let me know when you arrive. I'll come for you._, I offered, hoping that Mikala and Rebecca wouldn't mind to have two other guests in their house.

_What about Jacob and Quil?_, I asked him.

_They're waiting for feedback. Ready to go if necessary. I told Jake if there are only two or three, we can take care of it alone, but he wouldn't hear of it._

_Jake's responsible, unlike you._, I stated in response to his grumbling.

Mano and Makani were running at my sides again. At least, the dogs were really fast.

I began to smell the now-familiar scent of the forest not far from the Hookano's place. We ran in silence, hearing some of the other's footfalls as they, too, approached. It seemed perfectly timed and I wondered why that was. Maybe coincidence, maybe good organisation, or maybe even something more magical.

When we arrived at the meeting place, we were expected already. I slowed to a jog, but didn't stop. Mano looked at me, confused. I shook my head at him. I needed to go for clothing, otherwise I'd go crazy for still being tongue-tied. I hoped anyone would grasp that so I wouldn't cause a panic. Once I would have managed, I would explain that to them...

I got faster again, meaning to hurry. Suddenly, I heard someone chasing after me. Instinctively, the fur on my neck rose and I spun around to defend myself. I stopped short when I saw it was Mano.

"Sorry.", he said, sort of puzzled and even ashamed. "I wasn't about to upset you... just worried. What's going on?"

_I need my fuckin' clothes so I can explain it to you in my own words without being nude. That's all._

I ignored him and kept walking, following my own scent until I found my pile of clothes. I stopped and gave him an annoyed look that said _Could you __please__ back off while I change?_

He looked from my face to the clothes, then he looked away. "Oh."

I nodded and watched until he had left.

When I felt sure no man of any kind was watching me, I phased back to my human form. It felt both odd and good to walk on two legs again.

"See. It's great to have my voice back!", I triumphed, aloud. When I realized that their ears were good enough to hear me, too, I sobered down a bit from my momentary high.

I walked back to the assembled dog pack, where Keli'i sat across from the rest of them again.

I went to stand next to Mano, feeling a bit self-conscious to be the only human here.

"Good. Everyone is here again.", Keli'i began. "What have you found? Leah?"

I cleared my throat. "We... came across the scent of two of them. We didn't find them, but they seem to be mates. This is difficult, because they'll act more enraged when you kill their partners.", I reported, adding another piece of background information.

Keli'i nodded and gestured toward a bronze colored dog. "Ikaika, what can you report?"

Ikaika stood and answered in a strong, sure voice. "We found two different tracks. They crossed each other a few times, but seldom traveled together. When we followed one of them, it got stronger – we found one of the bloodsuckers, but it didn't notice us. We abandoned this track after that, not wanting to put the group in unnecessary danger."

"Yes. That was the right choice.", Keli'i approved. "What about the other trail?"

This time, the copper dog, Luana, replied. "We traced it toward the ocean, but it dissolved at the coast. Like the creature took off across the water..."

I nodded. "They can do that. We could follow, maybe, but we've not tested long-distance swimming, so we assume they would have the upper hand there."

Keli'i motioned toward the next group to speak. They hadn't found any trace of vampire stink anywhere in the south-western quarter of the Island.

At last, Mikala's group was in turn to speak. "We have crossed a very strange track...", he began, looking at me for an explanation. I returned his gaze, waiting for him to resume.

"There was a kind of... meeting place, where at least seven different tracks crossed. Sometimes, the scent was faint, but sometimes it was stronger, like one was more recent than the other."

I nodded in encouragement. "Go on."

"The tracks sort of... circled around a clearing. From there, they lead in different directions, back and forth..."

"Oh.", I exclaimed. I contemplated this for a second. "I assume it's kind of... not a meeting place. More a... battle field. Of course, we know now that these bloodsuckers are linked. Seven are quite many." We would have to ask for the help of the other pack, I thought with chagrin.

"There are... vampire armies.", I began to explain, meeting the shocked stares of eleven human expressions beneath a dog's features. "Power is very important to them. They would create new leeches and train them for battle, so they would fight others of their own kind to gain possession of a... hunting region." A slight shivering rolled down my spine. "This could be the case here. But we don't know for sure. It will probably still be a kind of blind mission, but I am calling in for help from my pack and the other Quileute pack."

Keli'i nodded, worry creasing his black dog face.

"My friends will be here as soon as they can. I would propose that for now, we should all go home and get some rest – if I might give my opinion."

"Yes. Your opinion is highly valued here.", he replied. There was the Alpha's authority in his voice that I wouldn't dream to negotiate, but he still made me take responsibility for this mission.

"Brothers and Sisters, we will go to our homes now. As soon as there is something new to consider, we will call you together again."

All of them rose at that, murmuring good byes.

I went over towards Mikala for the way home.

"Well done, Leah.", he complimented me after we had walked in silence for a while. "Thank you again for being here. It's a greater blessing than I could guess when Rebecca first invited you."

I cleared my throat, feeling self-conscious. "It's a matter of course."

"I'm not so sure about that. Risking your life for some natives in a foreign country isn't to be taken for granted."

"It should be, if the people I'm doing it for are friends."

Mikala thought about that. "I wasn't much of a good friend in the beginning."

"Well... that's true. But I'm not holding grudges."

"Leeeaah!"

Before I could react, someone flung himself at me. Someone small and smelling of chocolate and jam. "Hey, Pili!", I laughed and shoved him away on armlength before I hugged him in a bear hug again. "Mommy let me watch TV for two hours in the afternoon. And she let me eat two chocolate bars and two slices of bread with jam for dinner!", he exclaimed. "Cool.", I replied, wondering if this generosity about sweets and TV resulted from Rebecca's attempts to keep her son busy with something else besides noticing that I had been gone so long. I wondered what she had told him, and I worried again about having to lie to him. I felt guilty for being busy with fulfilling my tribe protector duty while I should have been a nanny.

"Dad!" Pili moved on to the next homecomer without asking weird questions about where we'd been. Mikala caught him in a hug and swung him in a circle. "Hey, my Tiger. Had a cool day?" Pili nodded, and Mikala smiled. "You've got to brush your teeth very well this evening."

I decided it was time to take up my job again and accompanied Pili to the bathroom. It took a good piece of motivation for him to go thoroughly about brushing his teeth, but finally, I had him clean and ready for bed.

"Do you tell me another story tonight?", he asked when I sat at his bedside. I yawned. "I would... but I'm terribly tired.", I excused. "Why?", he asked. "I've been on my legs all day."

"Me, too.", he replied and gave me a big yawn of his own. "So it will be better for you to sleep now. Tomorrow is a new day."

I tiptoed out of the room. This was amazing about Pili. He could change from one instant of being lively and very awake to being fast asleep the next instant.

My own room felt quiet and strangely lonely. I put on my pyjama, went to brush my teeth and finally crawled into bed. But before I could fall asleep, I realized why my room felt like there was heavy air in here, weighing me down.

It was like the exhaustion from a long day's strives – as long as you kept busy, you wouldn't feel it. But as soon as you took a moment to rest, it would come back to you.

The haunting thought of Sam kept coming back to me whenever I wasn't busy enough to distract me with indulgence of any kind.

Still – the physical exhaustion took its toll on me, too. After a few minutes of tossing from side to side unevenly, sleep took me, and with it came the nightmares.

Sam, Sam, always Sam, the lovely face he'd worn very long ago when he'd been _my_ Sam. Then, in another flashing memory, the bitter face when he'd changed and wouldn't tell me anything. Soon after, the very worst moment, the moment when it all collapsed, when our end was sealed. This was not the first time I'd dreamed that situation, reliving it again and again.

_Sam is standing next to me in my room. We've been cleaning it so my cousin Emily can stay here for a few days. This afternoon, she's arriving. Sam looks tired, as he always does, these days. He's always evading my questions, acting like he's tongue-tied, but I can't stop asking, anyway, because I want to figure it out._

_"Sam? Are you okay?" I stretch on my toes to kiss him on the cheek – he's grown taller than he'd been before all of a sudden._

_He avoids my eyes. "I'm tired.", he says. I get that answer everytime. I can _see_ he is tired, but there must be a reason why he is, and I'm not buying that he doesn't know more than he tells me._

_"Sam.", I try again. "I love you. And I'm worried about you."_

_He smiles at me, but it doesn't touch his eyes completely, not the way I'd known his smile, not the way he used to smile at me. "I love you, too."_

_I stretch again, wrapping my arms around his waist, reaching up to kiss him. He kisses me back, softly, but there is a bitter edge to it. Suddenly, he changes, his stiff arms become lively again, he embraces me, squeezes me close to his body. There is some of the old passion in his lips again as he kisses me now. I'm gasping for air, but the longing and desperation in his stance keeps me breathing raggedly while I'm responding to this kiss._

_Finally, he lets go of me, turns to look at my face with the love he'd always had for me shining through._

_"Leelee, I really love you."_

_For once, I feel hope again. Maybe he's going to be okay, going to be back to normal soon. My Sam._

_There's a babbling of voices from the kitchen. Mum is greeting her sister Eliza, her husband and their daughter Emily, my cousin. She's three years older than me and a very good friend to me._

_I squeeze Sam once again, then let him go. He follows me as I swiftly run down the stairs to meet Emily._

_"Leah!" Delighted, she stretches out her arms toward me and we embrace like we haven't seen each other in years. Which is true, after all. "Emily. Wow, great you're here. I could tell you so much that happened the last years..." She laughs. "Yeah, me too."_

_I'm aware of Sam standing a few steps behind me, waiting to be introduced. He doesn't know my cousin yet._

_"Emily? This is my boyfriend, Sam.", I say proudly. "Sam, this is Emily."_

_I freeze as I see Sam's face go blank for a moment, before he lifts his hand like a sleepwalker to shake Emily's. "Hi. I'm... Sam.", he stammers, more awkward and shy than I've ever seen him._

_He's not letting go of Emily's hand for a long while. Finally, I poke his side to wake him from daydreaming, but he doesn't even notice. He just keeps staring into Emily's eyes like he's never seen anything more wonderful than her. He looks at her more intense than he's ever looked at me._

_I cover my mouth to keep from screaming, to keep myself together, but I already feel I'm falling, falling._

_The scream bursts free._

I woke up covered in sweat. I should have been so used to it, but everytime, it keeps scaring the hell out of me. I couldn't get used to that empty feeling as to where my heart was torn out and wrenched into an unrecognizable shape. I lay in bed, shivering and trembling so heavily I feared I might fall to pieces. Maybe that was what falling apart – or being ripped apart, would feel like.


	13. Life Belt

Author's Note: Hey there! I'm quite proud I got back into the flow of writing. It's quite a short chapter, I know, but I think it's one of my favorites. Enjoy :) I won't make promises for the next chapter's date, but I'm starting to write it right now. :)

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Chapter 13 – Life Belt**

I woke up shivering. This dream I remembered far too clear. The haunting memory of Sam's stare that fateful afternoon – I wanted to scream again, but this time, my being awake helped me repress it. I wanted to get up and get something to occupy my mind with, but I was way too tired to start the day so early. It was not entirely fair for these dreams to keep me awake. It wasn't enough that I thought about it at daytime. Or maybe this was the compensation for how I managed not to think of it due to the things that kept it from my mind during the day.

I turned around, put my pillow over my head and clutched my blanket to my chest, trying to sleep, hoping for it to be a peaceful sleep.

No way. After what felt like a long time of tossing and turning around in my bed without finding sleep, I surrendered and got up. Probably a morning coffee would be a greater benefit.

When I walked down the stairs, I could hear Rebecca talking to someone.

"Yes. That's great. We'll be there to get you. I'm glad you're helping us."

Kaili spotted me when I came into the living room. She waved her little hands and crawled over to me. I picked her up and let her pat her hands into my face. She giggled when I blew into her face and pulled her head away from me. Laughing, I pulled her close to my chest and cuddled her. It was that wonderful experience again – being with this little child made me feel alive and almost whole.

"Bye, Seth.", Becky said and hung up the phone. I shifted Kaili to the side and looked at my friend in expectation.

"Your brother called. He and Embry Call will arrive at the airport tomorrow morning very early."

"Wow. That's quick.", I replied. They hadn't delayed. "Um... Becky?"

She looked at me, waiting for my question.

"Is this okay... I mean, for me to invite two more guests into your house..."

"Oh, Lee, sure. They're here to help us. Of course they'll be our guests. What kind of host would I be?"

I smiled back. "Okay. I really hope we'll fix this soon so your life will be normal again."

"Let's hope for that."

I glanced up at the calendar. "Oh. It's sunday.", I exclaimed.

"Yes. That's how quick a week passes by when you're busy.", Rebecca laughed.

We moved over to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Pili had to be still asleep. Good possibility to ask Rebecca about how she kept the secret around him.

"Rebecca?"

She looked up from the refrigerator. "How do you manage these secrets... does Pili never ask you about it?"

She resumed taking out jam, butter and milk for breakfast and closed the refrigerator before she answered.

"It's difficult. We know that one day, he will inherit the dog spirit. It's a bit complex on who is allowed to know and who isn't. Usually, those who will inherit the spirit ought to know in advance, as does the rest of their families. The normal local people or especially the _malihini_, the tourists or newcomers, do not know. This isn't something too many people should be allowed to know. The tribe members, _kama'aina_, mostly know, all those who descend from the ancient tribe in the time of our chief Mauna Kea, when Ku'ilioloa summoned the first dog warriors..."

Her voice sounded proud and reminded me of the legends book. She seemed to know it all by heart.

"You're quite fond of it, aren't you? But... you're Quileute originally. You're a... _mal_..."

"Malihini? - Yes, I am. I've been living her for some years since Mikala and I got married. I got to know when our relationship got serious enough that we considered marrying."

"He told you? Was he allowed to?", I asked, remembering there was a plate in my hands that I shouldn't let fall while I was absorbed in her story.

"Yes. Though I am a _malihini_, if he would marry me, I was allowed to know."

"How did you cope with that?", I asked eagerly.

She sighed, then smiled at her own words. "I decided... it didn't matter. I loved him – I still do – and if this part belonged to him, I'd take it, too. After I told him this decision, he got down on one knee to propose..."

I looked at her face to see that she had blushed a delicate pink.

"That's a great story." _Wish mine was even half that good._, I thought, but I swallowed it and kept setting the table. Rebecca had noticed the expression that flickered across my face before I could compose it.

"I'm sorry, Leah. I didn't want to..."

"No. It's okay. I don't envy you. I'm glad you found this life. I only wish..."

She hugged me. "Lee. I'm sure there's something out there for you... though I know this doesn't help anything... it's just another well-meant advice from an old woman."

"Old? Becky!"

She saw I was grinning and let go of me. Of course I didn't feel completely like grinning, but good enough that I could do it.

"I wish I could see it this way.", I said, sober again. "I'd like nothing more than... forgetting what I can't have."

"It will take time. And it might need the right kind of man to come around the corner for you...", Rebecca proposed, unsure if her words would be the right ones, it seemed.

"How much time?", I sighed. "It's been four years."

"Did you let him go from your heart? Or do you still cling to him emotionally?", she asked right away. "If you keep clinging to him, your heart can't heal."

I frowned as I thought about that. Had I let him go?

I couldn't make him stay, of course. So I let him go. But – emotionally? I thought I was sure he would never come back. But I often caught myself imagining how it would have been by now, if, _if_...

I still yearned for the time when he was mine, even though I knew it wouldn't come back, because _he_ wouldn't.

Yes, I had enough of this pointless yearning, this endless hurt of waiting for him to come back or the sky to fall down on my head. Pointless because I knew the latter was impossible, yet still more likely to happen.

I all but wanted to cling to him when it was so useless. But there was a too-big part of my heart that couldn't let him go. That kept clinging to that memory of the Sam I used to call mine, to that time so long gone. Something that told me I couldn't survive if I let go.

I felt tears streaming down my cheek, and I tried to wipe them away, but of course they didn't go unnoticed.

"Lee... are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't want to trouble you..."

"No, no... that's not... it's alright.", I interrupted her apologies. "It's just that... you're right. You're awfully right.

I never.. let go. I kept clinging to it. There were moments I pretended to be strong. But I never really tried to... really let go. I... I always knew he's not coming back, but I clung to the past we had."

Rebecca was next to me again, stroking my hair and my wet cheek. "It's okay, Lee. It's good you know that now.", she whispered.

"But... but how do I go on now? I... just don't know how I could... move on, like I should have done so much earlier."

Rebecca shook her head. "Who said you should have? You need to take your time to grieve such a loss. By now, you've had that time... maybe now begins the time of letting go.", she said softly.

"How?", I repeated, desperate for any straw I could grasp when I was about to let go of the straw I'd clung to for so long.

"Just by... living. By going on. Loving life like it never hurt you... I know that's hard."

"How can I?", I half-sobbed. "It's been so much... how could I ever trust anyone again?"

Rebecca smiled at me sadly, so caring. "Forgiving is the starting point for that."

I sighed, finally succumbing to sobbing again. "I.. don't know if... I can."

"You will, Lee. You are strong, once you let go of that life belt to keep you alive."

"Hmm." I didn't know what else I could say. I felt like there was so much lying ahead of me, so much I didn't know how to cope with. All the time I'd thought I was on my own, unconscious that I was clinging to this straw, that I felt too weak to let it go.

Now, real strength was what I needed. Getting up from the floor and living my own life, instead of claiming what I thought I had a right to have.

I knew I would fall down a dozen times. But I didn't care. I could do this.

"I know you can do this, Lee.", Rebecca confirmed as if she had heard my thought. I smiled at her, and this time, it felt more sincere than all the time before. I hugged her closely. "Thank you, Becky. You're the best friend I have. I'm glad I came here."

And then, the kitchen door opened and Pili came bursting in, in his pyjama, but already babbling as if he had to make up for the hours he'd _wasted_ sleeping. "Good Morning Leah and Mum. What's for breakfast? Cornflakes? I want these choco-cornflakes I saw at the store. Keni gets them every morning. Leah, can we go to the forest again? You promised we'd go soon!"

I grinned at him. "Sure, Pili. Right after you're finished talking so we can have breakfast."


	14. My Place

**Chapter 14 – My Place**

"Can I come with you? Please? Please, please, please!"

Once again, Pili was clinging to my arm and bouncing up and down. I looked at Rebecca for an answer. She nodded. "That's okay. Don't lose him there." I saw that she wasn't really concerned about that, but we both knew Pili.

"Fine. You can come. But it's so early you'll have to get up before the sun rises."

"That's okay."

"You won't be grouchy? If you are, I'll leave you here.", I threatened.

"I won't. Promise!", he said quickly, his eyes sparkling in excitement.

"Tomorrow is a school day.", Rebecca added. "You'll be here in time for going to school, but there'll be consequences if you're throwing any tantrums about going there." She gave him a stern look.

"When do we go?", he asked, unconcerned.

"The plane arrives at 4 a.m. We'll have to get up at 3 a.m.", Rebecca explained. "That means, you're going to bed right now." She ruffled his hair and smiled at him.

For once, he didn't talk back. Instead, he yawned. It was a good thing I'd worn him out by scouting through the forest all day. That was clearly what a little boy needed.

I followed his good example and went to bed early. I really hadn't had much sleep last night, so it would be great to get some sleep now, when I had to get up early the next day. And, who knew how much time for sleep there would be once the fighting started...

This night, I had a strange dream.

_At first, there was the same familiar scene of Sam, looking at me from bitter eyes, then turning around and leaving me alone._

_But there was a difference in my own role in the nightmare._

_Usually, I found myself screaming, reaching out for him, begging him to stay, with my words being blown away by the wind, my hands clutching at nothing._

_This time, I stood still. Tears streamed down my face. I felt like my heart was being torn out, taken with him as he left._

_But then, I realized what I hadn't seen all these times I'd dreamed this dream over the last four years._

_He didn't take my heart with him. What hurt me was my own strive to throw it at him, to use it to convince Sam to stay. That was what really caused the pain._

I woke.

My eyes popped open. It was quiet inside of me, peaceful even.

I got up and went to the window, opening it to let the cool breeze in. As I gazed out into the darkness, I could breathe deeply in and out. Thinking of Sam without the bitter craving for it to be real. I thought of our time again. The time when he had been my Sam. Then, I tried to smile at the thought that he was happy with Emily. That was harder. I could still feel the jealousy gnaw at me.

But it was easier than it had been ever before. I left the window wide open and padded over to my bed. I lay down, wrapping my arms around my blanket for whatever reason, and smiled up at the ceiling. I had, in a way, found a new place to be, a new one aside from where I'd stood before.

This was a beginning. I was beginning to forgive Sam, to forgive myself, to set myself free from the claim some part of me screamed life owed me. I fell asleep, and I didn't dream anything until the alarm clock startled me awake in the middle of the night, as it felt.

Well-rested though I'd hardly slept much this night, I jumped out of bed before I could decide otherwise.

I jogged over to Pili's room to get fully awake.

"Pili. It's time."

"Huh?"

I went to remove his blanket, which made him stir and start grunting.

"It's time to go to the airport, Pili.", I stated to make myself clear.

This did its job. He sat up, blinked a few times, then he jumped out of bed so agilely he almost crossed half of the room, and immediately, he seemed to be wide awake. I laughed.

"Come on. Get dressed already. You have to eat breakfast very fast."

He was excited enough that he did what he was told without complaining. Grinning, I prepared an easy breakfast. Soon after Pili had started shoving cornflakes into his mouth, Rebecca came through the door, too.

I smiled at her, remembering my dream after our conversation from yesterday morning.

"I didn't dream nightmares this night.", I told her quietly. She beamed at me. "That's great, Lee. I'm happy for you. Never stop believing in yourself."

Pili put up a new personal record in eating breakfast on a school day (of which I didn't remind him). We were sitting in the car just in time. Kaili was still asleep, so Rebecca decided not to disturb her sleep rythm. Mikala was still at home, she could wake him up if she needed anything.

Rebecca let me drive, sitting in the passenger seat and giving directions. Pili was on the back seat, chattering excitedly. After a while, I tuned his babbling out to concentrate on the traffic.

"There! There!" Pili somehow managed to jump up and down on his seat. "Look! A plane!"

Rebecca gave me directions on how to find the parking lot. I glanced at the car clock before switching off the engine. Ten to four. Just in time to find the terminal and everything. Rebecca insisted that Pili should hold on to her hand. She didn't want to lose him in the crowds. The boy had a hard time not to break free to run around and see the planes and all the other interesting things a five year-old could suck up like a sponge.

We found the terminal and sat down to wait. After some minutes of watching Pili fidgeting on his seat, I decided to let him off the hook. "Come on, Pili. We're going to take a look at what the ground crews are doing out there." Pili all but exploded from the seat, grabbed my hand nd towed me toward the big window. "Wow. Do you see that big plane? They're so small when they're up in the sky... but so big when they're on earth..." He flatted his nose in the attempt to see as much as possible. "Look!" He pointed his finger to a plane that was about to start. It began to move forward, gaining speed. We had a great panorama view here. I found myself pressing my nose next to his against the glass to watch the plane as it detached from the ground and took off. It was easy to empathize, to share the fascination of the boy. Natural.

Suddenly, I was interrupted by someone patting my shoulder in a very familar manner. I spun around.

"Seth!", I exclaimed. He grinned at me. I embraced him and he returned a warm bear hug. After that, I shoved him an armlength away to look at him. Had he grown again? He didn't look like seventeen. He looked like... twenty-five at least. _Older than me._

He met my stare. "What?", he laughed.

"You've grown again." It sounded like an accusation.

He raised one eyebrow at me. "Is that a federal crime?"

I laughed. "No. Just... strange. Just the same, whenever you see someone you haven't seen in a while."

Now it was his time to laugh. "Leah... it's been hardly more than one week."

"Oh, right. But... it's still a long time considering that you're a werewolf. I still think you grew.", I muttered.

"Fine."

Finally, I turned my attention to Embry. "Hey."

He, too, gave me a hug, and then he switched to duty mode. "When's it going to start? Any patrols planned for today? We need to give Jacob a report as soon as possible."

"Give it a rest. We're patrolling tomorrow, then we'll let Jacob know. As soon as the whole pack is here, we'll get started. We're in a hurry, yes. The earlier we act, the sooner it'll be safe. But being hasty..."

Embry grinned. "You're still a good second-in-command, concerning strategy and everything."

I smiled at the compliment.

By now, Seth was all ears again. "I want to go to that vampire place. Do you think there's an army?"

"Why would there be?", I asked back. It made no sense to me. _Maybe Jacob should ask his favorite leeches._, I thought sarcastically, but then... the idea wasn't half bad. I would suggest that.

"I don't know. But if there are more than seven... maybe even young ones...", Seth mused.

"Oh, crap!", I shouted, making both boys look at me in confusion. I looked over to the window where Pili should have been. I turned around, searching the place for Rebecca. She wasn't there, either. Hopefully, she was with Pili.

"Rebecca's son should have been here. Now, he isn't. There's a five year-old on the loose now.", I explained.

"Leah?", I heard Rebecca's voice behind me. I turned around, only to meet her own searching eyes. "Have you seen Pili?"

Oh no. We had a problem now.

"No.", I answered, almost panically.

"Shh.", Rebecca soothed me. "We just have to go searching for him."

I nodded, still concerned and feeling guilty. We made two groups, Rebecca took Embry with her while I headed for the stairs down with my brother. I had a kind of precognition that he might try to get as close to the airplanes as possible.

"Excuse me, Miss." An airport staff member blocked my way when I reached the door ahead of Seth.

I shot him a pleading glance without even seeing his face. "Please. I've lost a five year-old boy here. I need to see if..."

"Sorry. You can't go out onto the airfield. Staff members only."

"But..." I ran out of words to say, so Seth had to help me out.

"Mister, maybe he found a way to sneak out onto the place. He wanted to see the airplanes and he managed to slip out of our sight."

"That's not my fault.", the man said, visibly defensive upon sight of a big guy like Seth. To me, it took some getting used to it – my brother, the intimidating, huge... grown up man.

"It might be dangerous out there." Seth searched for the staff man's eyes.

"It is. I can't let you go there."

Now Seth had him. "But you can let a little boy stay there by himself."

The man realized that his logic was crumbling. "I'll go see.", he offered.

"Could we please come with you?"

He sighed, but surrendered. When we stepped out into the bright sunlight of the airfield, I realized that if Pili was anywhere, he was here. But I couldn't see him anywhere.

"Is it possible that he might have... climbed into an airplane?", Seth asked.

The man shrugged. "I wonder how he should have gotten here anyway."

We headed for the nearest machine. Suddenly, a message was given via the loud speakers.

"Five year-old Pili Hookano is being missed and should come to an information point as soon as possible."

So Rebecca had taken the official option. I wondered if this was of any use.

The staff member that accompanied us turned around and gestured for us to come back with him.

We didn't bother. I was sure Pili had to be here. I tried to go by scents, but the air was only filled with fuel smell. I couldn't make out the boy I was searching.

In addition, it was so loud that I couldn't make out his voice, either. Seth kept looking around, his eyes scanning the place.

Suddenly, he strode off towards a helicopter close to us. The staff man tried to hold him back, but Seth didn't care about it. He stepped towards the door and pulled down the handle. The door opened with a creak and I could see into the face of a little boy totally absorbed by sitting there in the pilote's seat and looking out the front window.

I rushed forward and crushed him into my arms. "Pili!", I shouted in relief, pulling him out of the helicopter. I was too relieved for a severe lecture. Reluctantly, Pili let me tow him back across the airfield, quieter than usual. We walked next to the staff guy, who stomped his way with an annoyed glare on his face.

When we reached the door, Seth turned toward the man to smile at him. "Thank you. We appreciate your help.", he told him, very politely. He got back a dull stare, but he just shrugged and we went back up the stairs.

Pili had found his voice by now. "Wow, those airplanes are so big out there. I wanted to sit in one, but I couldn't find a way to... so I sat in the helicopter all by myself. It's so cool, I want my own helicopter one day..."

I pressed my lips shut to not start laughing. He didn't even seem to know what a shock he'd brought us. He still thought it was awfully cool.

Seth grinned at me. I rolled my eyes. Sure, he would have done the same at Pili's age.

We made our way to the next information point to announce that we had found him, and they sent us to where we would find Rebecca and Embry.

When Becky saw us, she rushed over to embrace her son, breathing out in relief.

When she pulled back, I was surprised about the stern, even angry look on her face.

"Pili. Just you wait till your father gets to know. You know exactly that you're not allowed to go away from us like that. I believe that was the last time of taking you to an airport for a while." Pili flinched. "I'm sorry... please?", Pili mumbled sheepishly now.

"Look at the clock.", she told him. "If not for this, you'd be in time for school. But now, you'll be late."

That didn't entirely bother Pili, of course, but he was ashamed anyway.

We made our way to the car, all quiet now. The guys were silent, too. Rebecca dropped her son off at school, then drove us home.

She was the first one to break the silence. "Please don't think I'm being to hard on Pili.", she said, sort of apologetically. "I'm trying to rein him in, but sometime's it's like herding cats."

Seth waved that aside, shrugging. "That's okay, I suppose. He's a boy." He turned from the frontseat to grin at me. I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. Seth was that way, too. Gave Mum and Dad – and me – a lot work to do." I laughed, and this time it was Seth's turn to roll his eyes. At least, all of us were more at ease now.

"There we are.", Rebecca announced when we reached the house. "Welcome." She smiled at our guests and then at me.

When we stepped into the house, we were greeted by Mikala and Kaili. When the girl saw me, she squealed in delight, and my heart was given another slight nudge of love for that little child. There was just no way to resist her charme. Mikala gave her to me, and I touched my nose to hers. "Hello, kiddie.", I crooned, which made her laugh. Once again, I was in my place, a place I belonged.


	15. Watching

Hey hey :) Sorry, I could have posted it yesterday if not for my internet refusing to work. Well, but consider yourselves lucky, because as a consequence of no webcomics or anything to distract me from writing (the drawbacks of the internet...), Chapter 16 is almost done. :)

* * *

**Chapter 15 - Watching**

Of course. What else would Seth and Embry be up to? It was not like they just arrived and could take some time for arriving and relaxing. No.

How could a... grown-up man – it was still quite a stretch to see Seth like that – be so eager for the ultimate adventure of scouting – or patrolling, in his case – through the forest just like Pili?

The only difference was that he wasn't bouncing up and down on my arm. But he clearly itched to go out, to phase and to see that bloodsucker place.

"Sure. The sooner we go, the better.", Mikala sided with the guys. "I can lead you there."

"Yes!", Seth shouted. "Leah, you're coming?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course."

We left the house through the back door, entering the forest. I ducked into the underbrush for a decent place to phase. This time, I tied my clothes to my leg. As inconvenient as that was, it was still better than being unable to speak.

We met a few yards further in the underbrush. This time, the pack was reversed. One dog, three wolves. Three fellows with whom I could communicate, one who could talk to us, but not hear us.

We followed Mikala through the woods at full speed, which felt good to my wolf body. I enjoyed the wind and the speed as we flew through the trees, jumping tree logs and ducking under low branches. Too soon, the racing was over and Mikala slowed to a trot.

_Head in the game, Leah._, Embry reminded me.

_Sure, sure. Just let me enjoy myself while I'm at it._, I thought back at him.

The awfully sweet vampire stink was all over the place. It was a sort of clearing, much like the one we'd fought the vampire army years ago. I wasn't eager at all for a repetition.

_Quiet._, Embry hushed us. We all pricked our ears and stood perfectly still. Mikala mirrored our stance though he hadn't heard us.

All of us smelled it before we heard it. It was hard enough a strain for even our ears to hear a vampire, but their smell would always give them away.

There were two of them, moving at an inhumane speed onto the clearing. They seemed to be at ease, not suspecting the four pairs of eyes that were directed on them.

It was a male and a female leech, young in age as it seemed. We watched them intently, hoping and waiting for some gesture to reveal more about them.

"Do you believe them?", we heard a high-pitched female voice call out.

The male shrugged. "Why would I? It's never of any good to trust anyone.", he grunted, looking about the place.

"You trust Luke.", the female stated in a lower voice.

"Yes.", admitted the male. "I trust Luke. He _knows_ everything."

There was some reverence in his voice that made me shudder slightly. Luke must be their leader. Or their... creator.

"I am not trusting Luke. I trust many of the others, but I don't trust _him_."

Obviously, the man – if you could really call it a man, that is – didn't agree with that. He rushed forward onto the clearing. The female followed soon after, obviously not wanting to be left behind.

I found it odd how their behaviour didn't match their words at all.

There was a movement in the forest some yards from our watching post. My head yerked to the side, as did those of the others. We made out another bloodsucker rushing toward the others. Both of them stiffened upon his approach. I wondered about their relationship.

_I think this one is the 'Alpha'_., Seth thought. I could feel his eagerness to stride forward and rip them apart.

_Seth, you don't._, I told him sternly. According to the past pack times, the second-in-command could use a kind of Alpha's command as well. I'd never checked if I could, and I never wanted to, anyway. But I had to hinder Seth from doing anything reckless.

He laughed. _Keep cool, sis. I've got me under control – you see?_

I listened to his mind. _Okay._, I replied. _Attention back to the field, please._

The other leech had reached the couple. He greeted them without words, standing before them with a probing glance.

"We've been to the southern part of the island for hunting.", the male volunteered.

"You better had. I don't need weak fighters.", the other spat at him in a military tone.

"Luke, I'm full, really. I could take down two at once right now.", he asserted.

Luke laughed. "Sure. We'll see what you're good for."

Sheepishly, the male stepped back a few feet. The female stepped with him, only to be called back to Luke harshly.

"Mekana!"

She flinched, but stepped toward him again. "How about you? I hear you're making friends with your comrades?"

"...Yes, sir.", she replied hesitantly.

"You know you're here to fight, not for girly friendships?"

She dropped her gaze. "Yes."

"Good. Then I hope I'll see you fighting well this afternoon." With that, he turned away again. Mekana hurried to the side of the male.

We watched as they walked a few yards to the side, standing there as if in expectation of something. It occured to me that we had an advantage. They didn't have the slightest idea of our existence, so they didn't recognize our scent, so they wouldn't feel threatened or spied on or anything. As long as we kept concealed and left them in the dark.

There were more of them trailing in while we watched. A few greeted Mekana and her companion, some others just stared at them. A few minutes later, Luke stepped into the center of the clearing. "Fighting Session for today.", he announced without a greeting. His voice was clear, but not louder than normal human conversation, though all of the others stood some yards away from him. Enhanced mythical being senses, like our own.

"Mekana, Pele. Begin."

Mekana stepped forward, hesitantly, looking at a tiny black-haired woman next to her. Both of them etched into the circle in the center, surrounded by all of their comrades. I counted nine of them. So ten, with Luke.

Pele took a small step toward Mekana, slightly baring her teeth. Mekana's stone face was creased in disgust and despair. She was unwilling to fight.

Luke growled at them. "Get going. Now."

Desperately, Mekana lunged at the tiny leech across from her. The other reacted by flitting out of her way. She sprang at her from behind, but it seemed more like she was about to embrace her than to kill her. Seemed like the monsters weren't so happy about being monsters. As if they weren't, already, by the way they ate...

Luke intervened, finally, shoving both of them aside. "Pathetic. Back off! – Lahaina, Kailua. Come here. And you better bring a better performance.", he ordered. "Worthless to take women in for fighting. Should have thought of that.", he muttered, not concerned for others to hear it. My feministic awareness rose at that. As if women were less capable of stuff like this. After all, what was _I_ doing here?

_You're doing great._, Embry thought gentlemanly.

_Thanks. I knew before._

The two male vampires had immediately begun to fight, one of them was the male we'd seen first. There were ripping noises heard, snarling and growling. Though it was pointless fighting among their own kind, it was satisfying to see how our enemies were about to extinguish themselves. Saved us work.

_No!_, Seth thought. I'd liked to slap him. But every move might expose us. I could save that one for later.

"Stop.", Luke commanded just in time to keep the two of them from ripping each other to pieces. What a shame.

_So that means he needs them. Seems they're newborns, right?_, Embry concluded what we were witnessing here.

_Right. And I still need to know how many there are. Do you think those ten are all of them?_

None could give a reply. How would we know?

_Maybe we can find out if we keep watching._, Seth proposed.

Luke had made two others fight in the center. I let my eyes trail over the expressions of the others. They varied. Some itched to join the fight themselves, others, like Mekana and Pele, looked sad and reluctant to have anything to do with it. Well, I could end their grief. If only we knew what they were after...

_I'd like to spy on Luke. Maybe he'll spill the beans anytime soon._, Seth volunteered.

_So what are you going to do on your own if he discovers you? I don't think it's that inconspicious if you're followed by a giant wolf._

_Who says he'll find me?_, Seth countered. I rolled my eyes.

_The idea isn't that bad._, Embry thought. _That way, we might find out what is waiting for us._

_We could also... ask Edward._, Seth mused. _He could easily pick it from his mind._

I growled at him, but only in my thoughts, as to not make a noise.

_I don't want any of them here. This is something we alone have to solve. As if we need your bloodsucker friends for that._

_Leah!_, he exclaimed. _You're being stubborn. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean they couldn't help us._

_No._, I argued.

_Fine. Then we might as well all die._, he snapped back at me.

Embry tried to calm us. _Hey, Clearwaters. Stop fighting. There's something to watch over there._

He made us abandon our quarrel for now and look back at the vampire assembly. It seemed like the fighting session was over. Most of them were already trailing away slowly, when Luke's voice hissed across the clearing to call them back.

"Tomorrow here. Same time. I'll tell you what this is about."

"Can't you tell us now?" The question came from a tall guy standing among some of the others.

Luke's head snapped over to where he stood, he glowered at him. Supposedly, he wasn't used to others disobeying him. "No.", he barked. The way he walked toward the other slowly made him step back automatically. I couldn't put my finger on what exactly made him look like a threat to a bunch of ghoulishly strong undeads, what with their newborn strength. Was that only his appearance and behaviour, or was it something more that kept his slaves obedient to him?

Obviously, the debate was over now. Luke gestured them with a flap of his hand that the meeting was done. They left, probably to go kill another lot of people. The thought made the hair on my neck rise. As soon as possible, we needed to stop this. Every day was too much, but we had to think of our tribes as well. We couldn't put ourselves in danger, either.

Which was exactly what Seth was after, as it seemed. He'd turned around already, tracking Luke.

_No, Seth!_, I shouted after him in my head. _Stop it. Now._

Seth didn't listen to me, of course.

_I'll be careful._, he told me.

I was afraid for my brother – this one wasn't a newborn. He was more experienced. He would take Seth down if he noticed he was there. Well, unless we would hinder him. But I didn't want those rash decisions, we needed to think things through.

_Seth. Stop now._, I repeated, trying to make my voice sound like an Alpha's command. It didn't work. I tried again. _Seth, come back here._

The double timbre was absent. So there was nothing vital to my being second-in-command. It was solely an honorable title.

I felt Seth skid to a stop. His thoughts were incredulous.

_Were you _really_ trying to _make_ me? Using an Alpha's command?_, he asked, indignantly.

_I'd thought you hated it._, he accused. But he was pacing slowly back our direction.

_Yes, I do._, I admitted. _But I was afraid for you. You were not allowed to go after him. Since when do you do something else than your pack does?_

Now he decided to be stubborn again. _You're only my sister, after all. Jake is the Alpha._

_I'm second!_, I emphasized.

_Well..._, he said, reluctant to admit, but having no way to negotiate it anyway.

Embry sighed. _Could we please have some truce here?_

I complied. Seth was still moping. Great. _Let's go home._

We turned and began to ran towards Hilo again. Only now, I remembered Mikala being with us. I felt guilty for having no way to include him – but then again, our latest pack conversation wasn't something it was a pity to miss.

Seth was quiet the whole way, as far as he was able to. I wondered what his problem was. Embry was still blissful, he liked the task and was only slightly unnerverd by our sibling fighting. Oh, well.

The way took only a short time for us at full speed. I trotted off into the underbrush to phase back, while the guys didn't bother to search for cover when they phased. When I was in my proper clothes again – though a little strained from running, as always, that was annoying – I joined the guys.

"Mikala, sorry for excluding you.", I apologized as soon as we were walking back to our house.

He frowned. "Well. It's weird, but that's similiar to how you felt last time, right?"

"Yes, sort of. Only in a reversed manner. It's hard to be unable to communicate with each other."

He nodded in agreement. "But... it seems like there is nothing we can do about it."

I shook my head. "Probably not... if there was a way to... put our thoughts in your mind or something like that... it'd be great.", I fantasized. Mikala laughed. "That would be just the right thing for Pili. An internal cellphone, somehow." I joined in and kept wondering if there was anything... but I came up blank.

By now, Seth had given up on his childish moping and was with us. "Maybe we could invent something.", he proposed earnestly. The next instant, the conversation got too technical to follow it. All three of them were discussing ways of inventing a useful device for the matter. Guys.

It was absolutely great to be back home. Pili was home, too, but when he saw us come home, he wasn't as lively as usual. Probably he remembered the threat Rebecca had given to him earlier.

We sat down at the kitchen table, where Becky served a lot of good things for lunch. I wondered if she was really equipped and braced for what was waiting for her with two over-grown young men in the house. I really hoped she was okay with doubling her shopping expenses...

* * *

"Seth! Can I go to the forest with you?"

I laughed as I watched Pili, who had forgotten his guilty conscience and found another victim to impose his untireable enthusiasm upon. "Keni will come over, and he wants to see my cool new friends, too!"

Seth laughed. "Sure, Pili. You ever seen a bear? Let's see if we find one." With that, the two of them were already out the door, impatient for Keni to join them. I began to see that I could probably never fulfill a little boy's need for adventure as much as a man could do. It was in their nature... or maybe it was just Seth.

"I'm coming, too.", Embry exclaimed. Okay. So it was their nature.

"Be back at dinner.", Rebecca called after them, grinning at me. "You just thought what I'm thinking?", she asked. I grinned back. "Definitely."

"Boys.", she said, and we laughed together.

"Did I miss something?", Mikala voiced, raising his eyebrows.

"No.", Becky told him and pecked him on the cheek.

I leaned back on my chair, quite content. Being here was right, vampires or not.


	16. Unsettling

Author's Note: Ok, sorry for the delay. It was finished for a few days now, but I wasn't at home to upload it. Besides, it's hot like a frying pan here and I've got lots of stuff to do, babysitting the children I get some ideas about Pili from, for example... ;)  
I have to announce that I won't be updating too soon, since whole july is stuffed with... uh... stuff. Camps with hundred children and all that.  
I hope you enjoy this chapter (even though I'm suspecting some won't like it)...  
I hope to update as soon as possible, but I can't give a prognosis. ;)

**Chapter 16 - Unsettling**

I'd spent the whole afternoon taking a nap on the living room couch. It did good to stretch my arms and legs. Mikala sat on the floor, playing with Kaili, while Rebecca rummaged something in the kitchen. I felt a little guilty for not helping her, but when I'd told her that, she had just sent me back to the living room. "Get some sleep, Lee. I can do this, if this is the only thing I can do for your mission..."

I'd nodded and yawned. "...Kay."

I felt better when I finally got back up. I walked into the kitchen to look for a place to help, finding the kitchen table set up nicely. Rebecca came in from the hall and noticed my mimics.

"Oh, we're having guests today, from the pack. Not really a pack meeting, but I think they're all curious..."

"Oh.", I replied. "Okay. Sorry I didn't help you, I didn't know."

Rebecca sighed, laughing. "Well, you can do the laundry, if that's okay. I didn't get around to doing it within all this excitement."

"Sure.", I said. "I don't want to misuse your hospitality or anything. I came here to help you with the children and the household, after all."

"Lee, you're doing great. You're doing so much more than I'd ever expected you to do. I am misusing _your_ kindness."

"Let's call it even, then, okay?", I proposed. "Deal."

I backed out of the kitchen to go for the washing machine. That was truly enough work to keep me entertained for a while.

* * *

I was just being done with my occupation when the door bell rang for the first time.

"I'll get it.", I shouted towards the kitchen and crossed the hall.

"Hello, Leah.", I was greeted by Mano.

"Hey.", I greeted and let him in. "I think Rebecca is almost finished making dinner. If you're hoping to see my friends, they're entertaining Pili right now.", I informed him.

He laughed. "Well, that's a pity. But I think I have to wait anyway."

I led him into the kitchen and served him something to drink, doing my best to be a good host.

"Thank you."

I seated myself next to him. "Do you like it here, on the Big Island?", he asked, meeting my eyes. "Yes.", I replied, not missing a beat. "I love it. I love living with Rebecca's family, being with the kids..."

He smiled. "Yes. These kids are charming. Especially little Kaili." I nodded. That proved my theory that Kaili was absolutely irresistable.

"You seemed to be... reluctant to do this.", he stated, making it sound like a question.

"Oh.", I replied. Did I really let this show? I'd thought I had been quite composed... most of the time.

"Yes... I didn't come here to be a wolf again... I wanted to quit."

He looked at me. "Really?"

"Yes. I want a normal life.", I said firmly, not wanting to go more into detail.

The door bell rang again, and I rose to open, playing host again. This time, Ka Hiwa and Pua arrived. I'd noticed before that they were both pretty, but I'd not noticed how young they really were. When I had invited them into the kitchen, I decided to ask, though I wasn't sure if that met the matters of courtesy here.

"Ka Hiwa?" The young woman turned to look at me. "I was wondering if I could ask you something..."

"Sure.", she smiled.

"Well... may I ask your age?"

"Of course. I'm nineteen."

Oh. So she was really younger than me. "And.. how come you got the dog spirit?", I asked right away.

"Oh. Well... just as anyone gets it. My father gave it to me when he retired. Since I've got no brothers, it was my honor to be the heiress of my father's tribal heritage."

The pride in her voice made her look graceful and glorious. I wished it would have the same effect on me, but their mythical secret was so different from mine. I guessed I'd never really understand it, but it was fascinating me.

"It's amazing. Though most of the dog warriors are men, we are regarded just as high as they are.", Pua joined the conversation. "What's it like for your kind?"

I frowned automatically. "Well. I'm the only one."

Both looked confused. "The only woman in the whole pack?", Pua asked.

I nodded. "Yes. Not only now. I'm the only female Quileute wolf in our history."

Their eyes widened. "Why?", Ka Hiwa asked.

"Because... I'm an abnomaly. I don't even know why.", I admitted. "That's all. No glorious ceremony, no choice. Just that." I felt the bitter edge creep into my voice I'd thought I should have lost while I was having the best life possible now.

"Oh. I'm sorry, Leah.", Pua told me sincerely. "It's hard, isn't it?"

I sighed. "Yes. But... I've got a wonderful life here now. I'd planned to quit my wolf being when I came here. I wanted to live a human life here."

"Didn't you have a life when you were at home?"

I shrugged. "Well.. it was kind of hard since my... my boyfriend left me and I became a wolf."

Both girls gave me a half-hug as a normal reaction at that explanation.

"Besides... I don't age, and it's odd when there is no change with your body at all..."

"No change?", Pua repeated. "So... you're not even having your regular menstruation cycle?"

Only a woman could easily draw that conclusion. No guy would ever grasp the whole problem at one subtle hint.

"Yes.", I sighed. "Not that I wanted to have children so much, but I hate... feeling like a genetic dead end."

Ka Hiwa nodded. "I can't imagine what it's like... it must be terrible...", she said silently, her hand stroking my back absent-mindedly.

It was comforting to discuss these things with other women instead of with my pack brothers. It was an absolute difference.

Someone next to me cleared his throat. I turned and finally was aware of Mano sitting next to me, having listened to our conversation. I blushed, though usually, I wasn't blushing that easy.

"Sorry.", I stammered. "Er... I didn't want to make you listen..."

He laughed and winked at me. "I don't mind. It's quite insightful, though."

Without thinking, I smacked my hand to his shoulder. "Ouch.", he exclaimed, staring at me.

I couldn't hinder the blush to deepen. "I'm sorry... knee-jerk, reaction. I've got a younger brother...", I apologized. My explanation seemed to amuse him further. I gave up on being awkward and laughed with him.

My fun was interrupted by the door bell. I went to let the new guests in. It had to be time for dinner soon. The boys hadn't come home yet. I hoped they wouldn't miss the time, displaying rude behaviour on their first evening. That was what was to be feared when letting adventurers on the loose without a babysitter. I laughed to myself.

It wasn't the whole pack today, according to the number of dishes on the table. There were seven visitors, though. Keli'i had arrived with his wife, followed by Ikaika and Luana. This made the kitchen feel a little crowded, but there seemed to be enough space for all of us.

Rebecca seemed unconcerned that Seth, Embry and the kids hadn't come home yet. She decided to open dinner anyway.

"Welcome.", she simply said. "I hope you enjoy this meal, and I hope our friends from La Push can tell us good news later." She smiled at me and handed the salad bowl around the table.

The back door opened and we heard the feet of our brave adventurers in the hall. Embry was the first to reach the kitchen. He looked around and was surprised by the lot of people stuffed into the room. "Hello. I'm sorry for being late. My name is Embry Call." He turned to Rebecca and added: "We escorted Pili's friend home."

She nodded. "All right. Sit down and help yourself. There's plenty of food."

He thanked her and sat down. Seth and Pili came in, being less polite, just sitting down.

Seth came to sit across from me and I tried to meet his eyes. But he was already digging into his plate. I'd give him a severe lecture for it later, he could bet on that.

I spent the meal talking with Mano sitting on my left and Ka Hiwa on my right. It was easy to be with them, I liked having friends here. Well, after all, Rebecca was my only human friend at the moment, while all of the others belonged to the supernatural word, but that was fine with me.

I realized something in the air all of a sudden. A silence that didn't take in all of them, only the space around where I sat. I looked over at Seth and the stare in his eyes made my insides turn out.

I knew it. I'd seen it before, that look, from a different pair of eyes, on a different face.

The way Seth looked at Ka Hiwa across the table mirrored exactly the way Sam had stared at Emily when he first saw her. Like the center of the world had shifted.

Unthinkingly, I shoved my chair back, hurried for the door. I felt the eyes on my back as I fled, but I didn't care. I started running through the hall, out the door into the garden, leaving the estate behind me.

When I reached the forest, I flung myself down on the floor without thinking about it.

There were no words for all the thoughts that whirled through my mind right now. I couldn't even explain why I'd overreacted. Well, I knew, but it made no sense. None of it did.

I closed my eyes and tried to get a grip on myself, but it was all spinning around in my head, drifting...


	17. Time

Hey hey, I'm here again. I really, really will do my best to finish the story this month before I fly off to New York in September, when I'll have no time to write. I'm doing my best, hoping to manage it besides all my other duties and enjoying my "free time"...

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**Chapter 17 - Time**

"Leah?"

"She's human. Wow. She's really good..."

"Leah, do you hear me?"

I blinked, or I tried to. My eyes didn't react. It was Rebecca's voice, and Embry's.

"Lee, please. Can you open your eyes?"

I felt a warm touch on my hand. While I still struggled to get my eyes open, my mind was already picking up its work. Why did anything feel warm to me? Maybe it was because I felt so cold...

I shivered, and with that, I regained power over my own body again. I opened my eyes, struggled to sit up, finally managing it.

"Is she okay?", I heard another voice coming from behind. Slowly, I turned, seeing Mano coming my direction.

Rebecca wiped her hand across my forehead. "Lee, are you okay?"

I met her concerned eyes, staring into them without noticing anything.

"Can you tell me what happened? You just... ran out the door."

"Oh.", I replied, blinking a few times to get the stupor to fade away. I looked around, noticing that more of the others were surrounding me. Still in a daze, I counted them. Ten. Kaili was missing. And Seth and Ka Hiwa were missing.

I dropped back onto the ground.

Rebecca helped me up again, still worried. How could I tell her what was going on within my head?

I met Embry's gaze. He knew. He wasn't absolutely happy about it, either, but it wasn't as bad to him as it was to me, of course.

I scratched my forearm, feeling self-conscious as the center of attraction again.

"I guess... it reminded me of something bad.", I explained quietly to Rebecca. "I was having a flashback."

This didn't answer her question. "What reminded you?"

I tried to choke back the lump in my throat. ".. Seth.", I mouthed. She was puzzled.

Sighing, I looked up at the gathered crowd. "I'm... fine.", I told them. "Let's... go inside."

I heard sighs of relief and slowly, some of them turned away. Mano held out his hand to help me up, and I staggered my way back to the house, feeling pathetic.

I hesitated on the threshold, composing myself. I wasn't going to freak out again...

Seth and Ka Hiwa were still in the kitchen, talking silently. The look in Seth's eyes was still luminous, glowing, never dropping from Ka Hiwa's face. Obviously, she had fallen for him immediately, too, her face was flushed a delicate pink and she kept dropping her gaze, even though she couldn't help herself, she lifted her eyes to his again everytime she'd dropped them.

The world had stopped turning for them. I turned and closed the door, not wanting to see more of that. I couldn't take it. I dragged my feet through the hall. Embry was leaning against the wall, unsure of how to go on.

"Um... can you tell them about our trip this morning? I think I can't..."

He gave me an unsure smile. "Sure.", he said reassuringly.

Suddenly, I felt something touching my feet. I looked down and saw Kaili pulling herself upright, patting my legs, reaching for me. And the turmoil around me became unimportant again.

I felt the healing power surge from the girl's smile again, and I lifted her up and pressed her to my chest.

I decided I needed time, time to digest this, and I took Kaili with me to my room. At first, she was squealing and laughing, patting my face as we lay on my bed. But it didn't take long for her to become quiet and finally fall asleep. It was later than her usual bed time, I realized. Throughout the whole day, I'd lost my sense of time.

I thought I really should help Rebecca putting Pili to bed, which would be approximately impossible, what with his _cool new friends_ and lots of other interesting people present.

But for now, all I wanted was trying to think this through objectively, concentrating on the sleeping child if I would be about to panic again.

The look I'd seen in Seth's eyes, it was exactly what Sam had looked like on that afternoon when my world fell apart. It was like experiencing it all over again, like I did in my dreams.

But it wasn't the same, after all. This was Seth. Not Sam. What had caught me off guard was only the unexpected happening, when I'd thought least of Sam, that it came crashing down on me, unsettling me.

And then I remembered my dream from last night. I put my free arm to my chest, feeling my heart beat. It _did_ beat, and, physically, it _was_ intact. And it was able to _love_... this I knew when I looked down at Kaili. This was love, no romantic one, but a love from free will, growing all by itself. And my heart was able to contain it, to let it heal the bruises.

I realized the concept of time. It took a long time to let go, an even longer time to heal. But, time – and will – were able to heal.

And another aspect of time was the present. Now. The time to get up and move on. To live and love again.

_How?_, my insides screamed at me. _I don't know._, I whispered back.

But I knew that there was the time to go, and that I could learn to love again by simply letting those who loved me into my heart. Trust. I winced as I imagined what it was like to have my trust in somebody broken. But confidence was what it took to love someone...

I would start with loving Kaili and my "family" here. That wass all I could do.

Carefully, I pulled my arm out from under Kaili, gently kissing her forehead before I tiptoed to the door. I would be good and join the assembled pack, facing the things I had to face.

I was determined to take things as they were, and take the matters of my time into my own hands. Sam had his own life now, and I had mine. I wasn't really ready to see him again, I wondered how I would cope if we had to get the pack here.

Seth had his own matters to occupy him now, and it wasn't my business, even though I'd have to endure his _thoughts_ all too soon... still, it wasn't the same. This time, these thoughts wouldn't hurt. They would only annoy me. I rolled my eyes and stepped into the hall to enter the living room.

When I opened the door, all eyes were on me, of course. But nobody put a question, Embry had obviously answered every question satisfyingly. I sat down between Mano and Embry and threw the latter a thankful look. He grinned back.

Keli'i stood and looked around to see all of us. He locked eyes with every one in turn before he made his speech.

"Brothers and Sisters, this is a serious mission. We are not sure if we are suited for the task at hand, and, I have to emphasize it again, we are eternally grateful for the Quileute's support. Still, we can not stand aside deedlessly. We need to survey our tribe's mythical history closer, in order to find something that might salvage us."

Each one of them nodded in agreement, and I wondered curiously how they would proceed. Probably they wouldn't try to google it.

I got a nudge from the side and looked up.

"Curious?", Mano asked. I nodded, wondering if I was being nosy. But then again, this was _our_ mission as well, and I'd told them enough about the wolves that it might be their turn. Mano must have guessed my thoughts.

"If you want, you can accompany me tomorrow. I'm going to see some of the elders."

I didn't comprehend. "Aren't Keli'i and the older dog men – Kapa'a, for example – the elders?"

"Yes.", he replied. "They belong to the elders. But there are some who belong to the oldest and mightiest families, but are not given the dog spirit."

I nodded. "And how can they help us?"

He smiled. "I hope they might remember some part of our magic that could help us turn the tables."

"Let's hope for it.", I answered. "I'm coming with you."

"Great. I'll come get you. Is 8.30 a.m. Okay?"

"I'm getting up early anyway. I have to get Pili to school."

"After that, then."

He held out his hand and I shook it.

"Bye."

Mano turned for the door, and I realized that the others had already left the room. I didn't really need to glanze up at the clock to know it was late. I was tired for two. I yawned and shuffled over to my room. My bed was empty. Rebecca must have taken Kaili to her own crib. Thankfully, I fell into my sheets and was out before I could have counted to ten.

* * *

"Leah, can Seth and Embry come to school with me?"

I playfully raised my eyebrows at Pili. "And what are they supposed to do at school with you?"

Pili grinned between two spoonfuls of cornflakes. "I think they know aaall the answers to Mrs. Mahina's questions!"

"Yes. I think they would.", I laughed. "But it's _you_ who should know the answers."

"They can _tell_ me and then I'll know!", he persisted.

"Right. But I think they're tired enough that they might still sleep when I drive you to school."

He pouted for a moment, then he resumed eating.

"I can go to the forest with them when I'm back, right?"

"We'll see."

"Lee?"

Becky came into the kitchen with her business clothes on. "I'm gone for work all day. Can you take care of the two?"

I bit my lip. "Oh. Well, I..." I hesitated. This was supposed to be my first priority. "Mano invited me to come see the elders with him for some clues..."

Rebecca nodded and thought about it for a moment. "Maybe you could take Kaili with you and persuade Embry to take care of Pili. I'd like to stay at home so you may fully concentrate on the battle issue, but I couldn't put this off..."

"No, no, it's okay.", I hurried to say. "I'll take care."

"Thanks." She came by to give me and Pili each a hug, then she left for the front door.

"Pili, time to go.", I told the boy just when he finished eating and settled to play battleships with the last of his cornflakes. "I'll have Embry pick you up.", I promised, hoping that my friend was okay with being assigned a Pili-sitter job. I knew Seth was way beyond it, I wondered if he was even here. Maybe he had already set off into the sunset with his new-found destiny. I'd better call in for Quil and Jacob to strengthen our team. They had their little girls at home, too, but it wasn't a new sensation. Maybe they could keep their head in the game a little bit better. Well... maybe.

I dropped Pili off at school and drove back home where Mano would pick me up. There was still time enough to wake Kaili up and pack a bag for her. By the time I was done, Embry had woken up, too. I told him to help himself to some breakfast and broke the news of his babysitting shift to him. He grinned and complied.

"Thanks. You're cool.", I told him. The door bell rang and I went for the door with Kaili in the baby sling and a bag with baby stuff on my shoulder. Mano's eyes trailed across my set up.

"Baby-sitter, remember?", I told him and pointed to my chest. "Sorry, I hope that's okay, but Rebecca is travelling again and I originally came here to take care of the children."

"Well, okay. Let's go."

I wondered for a moment if he was disappointed, but then he lifted his hand to stroke Kaili's cheek, smiling when she squealed in delight and patted my back.

Mano's car was parked in front of our house and I went to fetch Kaili's car seat from Rebecca's car. I sat with her in the back seat, in case she needed something.

"Leah?"

I looked up and met Mano's eyes in the rearview mirror. "Yes?"

"About that... conversation yesterday evening." He hesitated.

"Yes?", I repeated, waiting for something humiliating.

"I'm really sorry I listened. I know it wasn't supposed for my ears."

"Oh. Well... that's okay. I'm not holding a grudge."

"Thank you."

The following silence felt like there was something he wanted to say, but he seemed too absorbed in either his thoughts or the traffic, and I hoped for the latter. At least, he seemed to be a reasonable driver.

"We're here.", he told me, all of a sudden, and for the first time on the fifteen-minute ride, I looked out the window. The neighborhood was a little different from Ainako Avenue, the buildings looked older, some even ancient. Maybe it fit, if this was the place where the elders of the tribe were living.

Mano parked the car and I unbelted Kaili. We walked up the path towards the front door, where he rang the door bell. We listened quietly and I perceived a pair of shuffling feet across the floor panels, accompanied by the tapping of dog's paws. The door opened and I beheld the face of an old man. When he saw Mano, his eyes brightened. "Ah, Elua Ilio. Welcome, Mano."

They shook hands, and Mano bowed his head in reverence. The elder turned to me. "Aloha, young lady. I've heard of you."

"Aloha.", I replied, using one of the few hawaiian words I knew. "My name is Leah."

"Mine is Kukui." He leaned around me and looked at Kaili. "Ah, and the little one of Ekolu Mikala."

He smiled at the girl and beckoned us to enter. The tapping paws belonged to a little grey dog, though it seemed odd that they would keep dogs as pets, given their tribal heritage. Or maybe it was in emphasis of that state.

He led us into his living room, filled with traditional things of every kind. I looked around me in wonder and awe. It was like being in Levi Uley's place, a long-distant memory rising up. I tried to recollect the room without lingering on the circumstances I'd been there so often.

"Please have a seat, young malihini." I supposed he adressed me, and returned to the present. Mano was already seated in an armchair, so I took my place in the other, seating Kaili on my lap.

"You need my advice, and you seek to find it in my stories. Listen well."


	18. Research

**Chapter 18 – Research**

"It's been a long time now since the last Spirit Wars we fought. After that, Hawai'i was safe from war and bigger quarrels. There were, occasionally, a few of the evil spirits, but our dog pack could easily extinguish them. Before those last Spirit Wars, there were other smaller battles."

The old man looked deep into my eyes and then in Mano's before he continued.

"What might serve you best in our history would be the Kona Battle."

I glanced over at Mano's face to see his reaction. It looked well like he didn't know the story either. He shared my curiosity, probably, it was even stronger than my own.

"The Kona Battle was one of the most straining and difficult battlings we've had. There were fifteen dogs and thousand men, standing against an adversarial tribe. There was a strange creature with them, so much faster and stronger than its comrades. In this battle, we lost three of the dog warriors before the Kahuna (a priest, as you would say), enraged by the demise of two brothers and one sister, summoned a powerful weapon for the dogs to use. It gave them a kind of double-layered skin that was inpenetrable for whatever force was dealt to them. It was not strong enough for them to defy the creature by themselves, but they survived all its attacks and enabled their own tribe to win over their human enemies. The creature fought them effortlessly, flinging them off easily, but due to their armor, they weren't hurt by any of it. Eventually, it was able to shake them off and retreated towards the coast. But as it turned its back, the dogs would chase it, easily keeping up with its speed.

Meanwhile, the Kahuna had found another power to strengthen the dog warriors. He summoned fire which the dogs could fume from their mouths. When they received this weapon, they breathed fire upon the creature. Immediately, it let out a shriek which no set of teeth they had locked onto its limbs could have evoked. The creature caught fire, but it was still moving. There were two of the dog warriors, named Kaihoku and Wailele, who resolved to risk their life for their brothers and sisters. They jumped onto the burning creature, right into the hot flames, and managed to bring it down to the floor. Only then, they realized that the flames did not burn them as they did the creature. Encouraged by the vision, the ten others came to their aid, together they managed to hold the thrashing, agonizing creature down until the fires had licked the remains and reduced the creature to ashes."

Mano shuddered visibly, repelled by the image Kukui had evoked in his mind. He knew as well as I did that we were speaking of the _Cold Ones_. Disgusting vampires.

"Could that... weapon be still in us?", Mano asked, his body bent forward, his gaze intent on Kukui's face. I watched as the ancient's features wrinkled in concentration.

"I am not sure about it.", he mused.

"It's not in effect right now.", Mano resumed. "Otherwise, the double-layered skin would have prevented Hiapo's demise." He dropped his eyes in memorial.

Kukui nodded, his eyes grave with sorrow. "There must have been some temporary spell the Kahuna has put on you. I don't know of what kind it could be."

It was my time to ask a question now, though I wondered briefly if I was allowed to speak here. I tried.

"Is there a Kahuna on the island? Maybe there is some recipe, some... magic that has been passed on to him from the ancient Kahuna at the Kona Battle...?"

Both men looked at me. Mano's eyes sparkled with newfound zest for action and a great deal of hope. Kukui's wise eyes only looked into mine and I could guess his consent.

"Great, Leah. There must be some way like this.", Mano told me and reached over to hug my shoulders. I winked at him, grinning.

We both looked back at Kukui, who, without a question of ours, spoke again.

"There is for sure a Kahuna who is still serving in traditional orders. I know that Makaha, son of Kahuna Waimea, is at service at the outskirts of Hilo. You'd at best go speak to him directly."

Mano nodded and Kukui rose slowly, gesturing us to do the same. He accompanied us to his door, where he explained the way to Mano and then said good bye by means of a short bow. Mano returned the greeting, I mouthed "Aloha" and we went back to the car. Kaili was fast asleep in my arms by lack of entertainment. Carefully, I tucked her into her car seat and sat next to Mano in the passenger seat this time.

"Ah, great.", I exclaimed, and smiled at Mano. He drew up his eyebrows as a questioning look.

"Well, Pili's got Embry for a baby-sitter today, so I've got the whole day for this research project."

"That's cool."

We drove the streets of Hilo in silence again, following Kukui's directions. I stared out the window, watching houses and landscape fly by.

Mano nudged me from the side and my head jerked back to him.

"Sorry.", he told me, concerning startling me. "You like Hilo.", he stated, smiling.

"How do you know?", I asked back.

"There's a smile on your face."

"Oh." I hadn't realized it had been there... "Yes. I do.", I confirmed.

"That's great."

He looked at me until I warned him, laughing, to keep his eyes on the road. I felt flattered, and this again felt odd.

"We're here, Leah."

I yawned involuntarily and stretched before I got out. "Did I fall asleep?", I asked, feeling a bit awkward.

"Yes."

Great. Ok, well. I looked at Kaili, still asleep in the car seat, and wondered if I could leave her alone.

"Let's see if the Kahuna is at home before you wake her.", Mano proposed. I nodded.

We walked over towards the house. When we had barely reached the front door, it was swung open and we were face to face with a small man who glared at us from hostile eyes.

"Who are you?", he snapped at us, but his voice was too high to sound coarse.

"Aloha, Kahuna Makaha.", Mano greeted him evenly, not in the least offended by the unwelcoming host.

"We came to ask you concerning the dog warriors."

His eyebrows pushed together in suspicion. "Come in.", he muttered.

I cast a sideglance at Mano's face, he was puzzled at the hostility, too. But he shrugged and we went for the door.

"Not the wahine!", the Kahuna hissed at Mano. He raised his hands to soothe the man. "Excuse me, Kahuna Makaha. She is very vital to the issue we need to ask you about."

The priest, still distrusting all of it, eyed me carefully. "Alright.", he finally snapped, turning on his heels to disappear through the door. We trailed in after him, unsure if we wouldn't be thrown out again immediately.

We followed our unfriendly host through a long hall until he opened a door at the other end. He walked in and when we entered, he turned around so apruptly that I went into a defensive stance at once.

The Kahuna let out a heavy sigh and beckoned us to take a seat. I glanced around in the room. It felt gloomy and mysterious, just the way I'd imagined the lodge of a medicine man to be.

We sat down on a shabby couch and waited a few minutes until the Kahuna focused his attention on us.

"So. You're who?", he asked us in a harsh, almost militiarian tone.

"My name is Mano, Elua Ilio, I'm second-in-command of the dog warriors."

The eyes of the other bulged when he heard Mano introduce himself. Suddenly, he stepped back and, instead of eyeing us scornfully, he looked up to Mano in reverence.

"Elua Ilio.", he exclaimed. "My apologies for treating you harshly."

He, then, looked at me questioningly, but before I could introduce myself, Mano took that part.

"This is Leah Clearwater from the Quileute tribe in Washington. She's part of the secrets."

I nodded at the Kahuna. "Aloha.", I said, merely more than a whisper.

"We need to ask a favor of you.", Mano began to explain. While the man sat down on the floor, he told him briefly what our problem was. I kept watching his expressions, turning from

curious to shocked to fierce. I wondered how much he knew about the mythical world and especially his own tribal heritage.

"I have no experience on that field.", he confessed when Mano had finished. "It must have been my great-great-great-grandfather."

"Yes. But do you have any kind of... recipe or a note of any kind of how he did summon the fire and the shielding skin?"

The Kahuna frowned and got up to rummage around in his inventory.

I looked at Mano. "Do you think he can help us?", I mouthed. He shrugged and winked at me. "I hope so."

"Oh!", I exclaimed when I was suddenly reminded of Kaili sleeping in the car. I got up and walked out to get her. I heard the Kahuna mumbling something behind me in Hawaiian language.

Kaili had woken up already and was on the verge of crying when I approached. I hurried to the car and reached out to take her into my arms. She patted my cheek, probably from the relief of seeing me, and of course she was hungry, too. I sat down on a bench before the Kahuna's hut and took a glass of baby food from my bag. When she spotted the glass, she squealed delightful and reached for the food. So I had guessed right. I began feeding her, laughing at her soon baby food-smeared face.

"There you are, Leah."

I turned my head and saw Mano standing in the doorframe. He stepped out and came to sit beside me.

"What did Makaha tell you?", I asked with hardly concealed curiosity.

Mano shrugged. "He doesn't know. He's never been much in contact with myths like us, thus he doesn't know much about the dog pack. He's willing to try, though, but he hasn't found anything yet that could be useful to us."

Mano looked so desolate that I reached out to put my arm around his shoulders for comfort.

"We'll manage it anyway. Just let _us_ do it. It's a wolf task."

He sighed. "I'd rather I could help you. It's killing me to stand aside helplessly while you're in danger."

"Danger!", I scoffed, realizing only after I said it that I sounded exactly like the guys right now – again. "Really, it will be easy, if we get the other pack here..."

"You don't want that."

I frowned and dropped my arm after realizing it was still there. How did he know all of this? He knew things about me I never mentioned aloud. Probably, he had a very sensitive side.

"No. I don't want it... I don't really want to see my ex-boyfriend... and he's the Alpha of the other pack."

Mano nodded. "I understand."

He got up and I followed him to the car. This time, I sat in the rear with Kaili again, wondering if there was anything else he would say on the subject. But he was silent again, and so I gave my attention to Kaili instead, cuddling and tickling her until she giggled. This way, we passed the whole ride until Mano pulled up on our driveway.

I unbelted Kaili and got out of the car while he held the door open for us.

"Thank you.", I said and smiled at him. "For taking me with you, too. It was quite intriguing."

"You're welcome.", he smiled back.

"Aloha, Mano.", I told him, and Kaili waved at him across my shoulder when I started walking up the path.

"Leah?" Suddenly, I felt a slight touch on my arm and turned around again.

"Yes?"

"I'm happy you came with me." He smiled at me, then he turned for his car. I stood for a moment, looking after him. Shaking my head, I headed for the front door and took my key from my pocket.


	19. Compliments

**Chapter 19 - Compliments**

The house was empty, probably Pili had been successful in dragging Embry to the forest. I went to the kitchen and began preparing dinner, though it was still far too early for that. Kaili sat on the floor and played with a set of spoons and pots. I sat down at the table with a bunch of vegetables to dice them for the soup and dedicated my mind to thinking about some weird perception.

I wasn't dumb. I was just... not used to it. Could it be that Mano was interested in me?

Why did it feel so odd to consider this?

I was used to being the odd one out, unwanted. By Sam. By the packs.

Yes, there'd been a slight change in Jacob's pack, they sort of liked me now.

I was also welcome and loved in Rebecca's family, that was true and amazing.

But being more than that to anyone? That hadn't happened to me since the time Sam had loved me. When he stopped loving me, it seemed like everyone else had stopped loving me, too.

Or was it my attitude that evoked the hate? I thought I had to admit that, but still. No one had given a damn about me, nobody had understood. How could they have?

Was I rendered unlovable because Sam had dumped me down? It had felt that way, but maybe that wasn't the reason, hadn't been the reason all along.

Had I made myself unlovable? By thinking I was, because I had been abandoned, I must have made myself unlovable and insufferable, because I'd given hell to everyone near me, letting them suffer to ease my own pain. That must have been the reason why no one ever wanted me – because I didn't let anyone come near me.

But now, slowly, I was letting go of Sam. I began thinking his name without feeling hollow and broken. It still hurt if I lingered too closely on the details, but I wouldn't do that, either. Sam was... past.

But I still couldn't believe I could find a new love. It still felt like my capability to love and to trust in love again were wearied.

I didn't even know if I wanted to have a new relationship. Yes, it had been four years since Sam left, but it had taken so much time to digest it. I wasn't sure if I was ready.

Beside my general doubts, I had to wonder what I thought of Mano.

Whew, I'd never thought of anyone in that sense for so long, never since Sam, and seldom before. Sam had been the only one I'd ever wanted, ever loved – could I really love someone else?

"Ouch!"

I dropped the knife and looked at my finger where I'd given myself a cut. I went to rinse it under the faucet and watched as the wound bled itself out and the blood was washed away.

By the time I switched the faucet off, the cut was already no more than a pink line, merely a scar, thanks to my enhanced physical healing-process. Unfortunately, the wounds on my heart did not heal as fast. Instead, they seemed to drag on for a longer time.

I sat down to my work again, my finger already healed completely.

Maybe, like an outer wound was able to heal, my internal pain would cease – or at least diminish enough to keep going and to start all over again.

So, what I would do about Mano, I would see. I didn't feel like I was ready for a new beginning, but I would let time point this out. Because, deep within, there was a longing to be loved, to be someone's number one. I only didn't believe it could be possible.

I got up and filled the finished vegetables into a bowl.

Kaili had fallen asleep on top of her toys. I went to put her into her crib before I resumed cooking.

It wasn't long until Embry and Pili came in through the door, chatting loudly. It seemed like Embry had just as much fun as the boy.

"Hey, Leah.", Embry greeted me when he came into the kitchen, immediately lifting his nose as if trying to scent the soup that was boiling on the stove.

I laughed. "Dinner for the wolves.", I said, making it sound like a joke for Pili.

"Leah, 't was so cool!", he reported to me. "We discovered a wolf trail! Did you know there were wolves on Hawaii?"

"You're kidding!", I told him, widening my eyes, acting surprised to humour him.

"No, it's true! I found the trail all by myself and Embry told me it was a wolf! But we didn't find him...", he told me excitedly.

"Well, you can search for him another time.", I assured him.

"Tomorrow!"

"Sure. Are you hungry, little wolf?"

Pili nodded and patted his stomach. "Like a very, very big wolf!"

I grinned and poured him a ladle of soup into a bowl which he began to devour immediately.

Embry got himself a big helping and leaned against the kitchen counter next to me.

"How are you?", he asked me silently. I glanced over at him and met his earnest eyes. He really wanted to know.

I shrugged. "Well. On the mend, if you could say so. I'm better. Really."

Embry smiled. "Glad to hear that."

He really cared. Wow. "Embry?"

"Yes?"

"How's... Seth?", I forced out, halfway through my teeth.

Embry chuckled, then he composed his face again as to not bother me. "He's fine, of course... but I doubt if he's got a clear head to fight with us. You know what, I'm really glad that until now I didn't have to share his thoughts."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm glad about that, too... but it's sort of inevitable. We can't go one short."

I glanced over at Pili, who was still absorbed in eating his soup. Besides, we were talking low enough so he wouldn't overhear our conversation.

"Do you think we should already give Jacob and Quil a call over here?"

Embry nodded. "I think we should. We can't wait for long. We need to patrol again."

"And... what about the… other pack?" Obviously, I couldn't disguise my reluctance to get Sam's pack here.

"Leah... I know it's... hard for you. But... you have to think about the pack. You can't put our life in more danger than necessary, only because... you understand what I mean, right?"

I let out a sigh, but nodded. "I know."

"I'm sorry, Leah."

"It's not your fault. I know you're right. And... I think it's time to face it all."

Embry gave me a hug. "You're tough, Leah. I have to admit that I'm really impressed with how you do this."

"Oh." I smiled in surprise at the compliment.

"And now... I think I'm going to dig into this mouthwatering soup you made."

"What day is it today? 'Being extraordinarily nice and sweet to Leah'-day?", I laughed.

Embry chuckled. "No, I'm honest.", he stated and then sat down at the table for his soup.

I didn't feel that hungry after tasting so much of my cooking, so I went to give Jacob a call. Maybe they could come over within the next days...

"Black?", a familiar voice answered the phone.

"Oh, hey Billy. This is Leah. Calling you from your daughter's place."

"Hello, Leah. Is Rebecca at home?", Billy asked.

"No, unfortunately not. She's gone for the day, I'm here, taking care of the kids."

Billy was silent on the other end, and I remembered Jacob thinking about his family. It gave Billy a hard time that his daughters, especially Rebecca, never came for a visit, nor did they even call him more than once in a blue moon. He'd seen Pili once and had gotten a birth announcement of Kaili.

I probably should be more careful in what I said.

"Billy, is Jacob at home?", I asked, realizing that it must be hardly possible, what with his favourite bloodsuckers.

"Yes, for an exception, he is.", Billy said, and I could guess the hesitation in his voice.

"I need to talk to him about our recent vampire mission.", I explained.

Billy harrumphed. "You want to abduct him to Hawaii, as well, right?"

"Um. Yes. We really need him, as well as the rest of the wolves from Sam's pack."

"Humph. I'll go tell him.", he muttered.

"Please do. It's very important."

"I will. Good Bye, Leah."

"Bye."

"Ah – Leah?", he called when I was about to hang up.

I put the phone back to my ear. "Yes?"

"Pass on my love to Rebecca, please. I do miss her."

The gruffness was gone from his voice completely, replaced by real feelings, exposed freely.

"Sure, Billy."

"Bye, Leah."

"Bye."

This time, there was silence when I waited for him to say something else. When I passed Billy's message on, I figured, I'd add a few words and urge her to consider another visit to La Push.

I also knew about Becky's own problem, her trepidation if she had to be in the Black's house, when it reminded her so much of her mother.

But maybe, though death was so much more final than only being left by someone who was still alive... maybe she had to move on, too. At least she knew that her mother didn't leave by her own will. She left while loving her family.

While I stood there musing about this, the phone rang. I took the receiver.

"Hello? This is Leah Clearwater at the Hookano's."

"Leah?"

"Oh, Jacob, hi. That was real fast.", I exclaimed in surprise.

"Sure. It's important. So, I'm going to book a flight right now. But before, I'll be phasing to talk to Quil and to Sam, for coordination. When Quil and I are coming, I'm trying to bring as much of our brothers as possible."

"That's cool. I'll have to tell Rebecca there's going to be a band of savages in her house very soon."

"Oh, she'll be okay with that. We'll behave as civilized as we can. Besides, I've got a younger-brother-bonus."

I raised my eyebrows, even though he couldn't see it. "Are you sure about that?", I questioned.

Jacob laughed. "Of course."

"Dream on.", I chuckled in response. "But remember you've got a task. I won't delay you."

"Good. See you, Leah. Take care of Embry and Seth until I'm over there."

I sighed. "Oh yeah, Seth...", I mused.

I knew the way Jacob's face would look if I could see him. He didn't have to put the question.

"What about Seth?"

"Oh well... a lot of infatuated thoughts we're going to listen to.", I hinted.

"What? OH!", Jacob shouted.

"Yeah. It's what you think. It's one of the dog pack."

Jacob processed that for a moment.

"Well.", he said, a smile and annoyance both residing in his voice. "Good for him, difficult for the pack. One more reason we should not waste more time before we strike."

"Right. So get going."

"Bye, Leah. You're doing a great job."

"Thanks... Bye, Jacob."

I yawned. It wasn't really late, but I had a straining day behind me. Unfortunately, I also had to take care of a little girl that had slept too much during the day and was quite lively by now. I didn't dare to put more of my nanny job on Embry, so I put Pili into the bath tube while I tried to entertain and exhaust Kaili at the same time. When I passed the living room, I spotted Embry sprawled across the couch, fast asleep and snoring slightly.

So I was on my own again. Kaili was still giggling and crawling after me agilely by the time I went to put Pili into bed. To let Embry off the hook, I had to admit that he'd done a great job already in working Pili out so much that he could hardly hold open his eyes until I tucked him in.

"Leaah?", he murmured from under his blanket.

"Yes?"

"Will you tell me..."

I waited a moment for him to finish, but instead of resuming his question, I heard him breathe evenly, fallen asleep mid-sentence. Wow, at least that was great. Embry deserved a box of chocolate or something... I'd think of it, once the whole chaos would be over.

I took Kaili to her room and thought a moment how I could get some sleep without neglecting my duties. In the end, I put the girl into her crib with some toys, hoping she would either entertain herself with that or fall asleep, while I got a pillow and lay down on the floor for the lack of a more comfortable accomodation.

I fell asleep very soon, but I was not granted a long time for recreation, because Kaili started wailing soon after. Still in a doze, I bent over her crib to comfort her.

Delighted with company, she stopped crying and started babbling something instead. I felt drowsy, like I could drop down every moment.

I lay back down on the floor with the girl on my stomach, only dimly perceiving her squirming and patting my face before I was out again.


	20. Mistimed

**Chapter 20 - Mistimed**

My dreams were confusing, too fast, flashing before my inner eye so fast I hardly caught up with them. Wolves, dogs, humans – my family, my pack brothers, Sam, Pili, Rebecca, Mano... this dream was not a nightmare, there was no plot to it, no sense, only pictures without any connection. I saw an image of Mano flying by, lingering for a moment, before it was replaced by one of Rebecca, wavering from side to side, but not passing by.

It took a while for me to realize where my dream drifted into reality.

"Lee?"

I grumbled and turned, noticing halfway that something wasn't right. Damn, the ground was hard! Where was I? This wasn't my bed!

I opened my eyes and stared into the darkness, spotting Rebecca's face above me, wondering while half-asleep how often she would still have to find me in some weird places and circumstances when I was supposed to sleep. By now, she should be past worrying, gotten used to my weirdness.

I stretched and lifted my head. "I'm fine, Becky. I was just dead tired and Kaili was too chirpy to sleep..."

Rebecca reached down to stroke my hair.

"I know I'm asking quite much of you...", she said remorsefully.

I sat up and shook my head. "No. That's fine. I can manage it... it just was much to digest, yesterday..."

"Still, I should let you get your sleep. There's enough lying ahead of you right now."

I nodded and yawned. "Then I'll go to my own bed now."

"Sleep well, Lee."

"Thanks, you too."

I shuffled over to my room and was out ere I could think another thought. This time, I slept so deep that I didn't dream.

I woke up late, feeling moderately rested. I took a shower before I went to the kitchen, where Embry was seated at the table with a bowl of cereals. "Morning, Leah."

"Hey Embry. What's up for today?"

He looked up at me. "Um... shouldn't I be asking _you_, second-in-command?"

I smirked. "Sure. Just checking if you know more than I do."

"I _do_.", he replied. "We're meeting with the pack in approximately an hour for a patrol to that vampire clearing."

"Oh." I helped myself with breakfast and sat down.

"It's just another informative patrol so we'd know the most possible."

I nodded. "Ok. The whole pack?"

"Well... Seth won't go without Ka Hiwa, even though he'd rather stay behind with her, but he knows he can't desert his pack. Besides, none of them want to be left behind."

"Fine. Well informed as you are, you also know about our research trip yesterday?", he asked.

He shook his head. "Tell me."

"Well, the elder we visited, Kukui, told us a story where the Hawaiian Dog Warriors had to fight against a Cold One, as it seems from the description, only that they were oblivious what exactly it was."

"Wow. How did they win?", Embry asked, his eyes wide open.

I told him all that Kukui had told us and that he had sent us to the Kahuna afterwards, quite ineffectively.

"So he doesn't know how to create that fire weapon... that's a drag.", Embry pouted.

"Don't underestimate the enhanced impenetrable skin. It comes in just as handy as the fire...", I asserted.

"Fire's cooler!", Embry grinned before he became serious again. "Well, if they could get both, they'll have to finish them alone. I don't think we're fireproof, too."

"Right...", I mused. "But obviously, they can't. So we're by ourselves, more or less. I hope the packs will arrive here soon."

I got up and went to rinse the dishes. Embry fetched himself a towel and dried. We worked in silence for a while.

"Where's Rebecca?", I asked him when I realized she wasn't in the house. Pili had to be at school, Mikala rummaged somewhere in the garage, and I heard nothing from Kaili.

"She's shopping groceries for the hordes of people she's hosting."

"Oh."

* * *

We met with the others in the forest. Embry, Mikala and I were the first, but we didn't have to wait long. We could hear and scent the others soon, but the most remarkable newcomer was, of course, Seth phasing.

_Uh oh. That's the end of sanity._, Embry joked.

I rolled my mind's eyes.

_So he might be more annoying now than I used to be, ain't he?_, I asked with a smile.

_You're hardly annoying anymore. Really, Leah._, he told me.

_I do my best._

_Hi, Embry, Hi Leah._, Seth thought. He was trying, but not in the least succeeding, to conceal his thoughts about Ka Hiwa. We felt his elation to have her run next to him, felt his worries for her safety, the lingering memories of kisses and whatever else they shared, and his impossible love for her. He was bursting with all those feelings, thus it was almost impossible to hide them.

_Seth..._, Embry and I thought together.

… _Sorry. I'm just... so happy, you can't believe it..!_

_Yeah... fine. Could you keep your head in the game, though?_, I asked him.

_I'm...trying._, he promised, but he broke the promise once he let his eyes wander over to the slender light brown dog next to him, nearly exploding with love and joy and the alert to protect her once there was the slightest danger.

_Oh fine. We're on our own now, Embry._, I remarked.

_Okay..._, he sighed.

The whole pack had reached us soon after our conversation with Seth. We headed south-east, Keli'i at the top with Mano and me at his flanks. The meeting place was quite a distance from Hilo, at least, though those disgusting leeches were already hunting in our town.

"Was anyone there to hear what that... Luke told the others?", Mikala asked.

"No.", Mano answered, and Embry and I shook our heads.

"Oh. Damn."

"Let us hope that they are here today.", Keli'i advised.

We ran in silence now, the dogs being in disadvantage now. Or well, at least they had the advantage that they did not need to hear first-hand of Seth's puppy love.

_Cool pun_, Embry laughed.

_Phew. Funny, Leah._

The vampire stink got worse the closer we came. We knew we'd reached the place when it became almost unbearable. Oh well, at least Seth's imprinting was of better taste than Jacob's, whom fate had played a kind of cruel joke. Half-leech lover...ugh. But he didn't seem to mind.

_Thanks. I think fate has made the very best choice for me. She's just perfect and beautiful..._

_Stop it, Seth..._

Our attention was attracted to the field now, anyway.

We could see some of the bloodsuckers standing around in a loose half-circle. The lack of tension suggested to us that Luke was missing yet. We sat down quietly in the shade of the underbrush, all of our eyes intent on the scene, trying to understand what was going on. Did they already know what they were going to fight for, whom they would fight against?

A few others trailed in and stepped into the gaps of the half-circle. After a few minutes of motionless waiting, there was a murmur swaying to and fro between them, followed by a hush. The tension increased and they all stared in the same direction. I let my eyes follow theirs and could spot another moving creature between the trees. Two of them.

Two vampires stepped out onto the clearing, and I gasped when I recognized the elder-looking man next to Luke. He was dark-haired with burgundy eyes and a skin like old paper.

I had met him before. He'd stood with the Cullen's against their so-called royalty.

Some kind of aspirant for world domination. What was his name? Stefan? Vladimir? One of those. I don't know why I bothered about the names anyway.

"This is Stefan.", Luke introduced the new member of the party without any advanced greeting.

"I told you we're going to Italy as soon as I've drilled enough battle skills into all of you."

Stefan nodded. "I'm delighted to see all of you.", he told them in a feathery, yet coarse voice. "We're working together to free our world from injust treatment from those who think themselves divine."

Hesitantly, one or two of the younger ones began to cheer, the others chimed in.

"Quiet.", Luke finally snapped. "This is a serious mission, not a football game."

He waited a few seconds with glaring eyes until all of them were hushed again. "We're leaving Hawai'i in two days, across the ocean. Until then, I require you to strain yourselves in training, and that you're feeding regularly. The humans begin to suspect something and we can't delay farther. Just feed here on the Isle, and before they can begin a closer examination, we will be gone.", he commanded. "Take the towns you haven't been feeding in so much yet."

"What about Hilo?", one piped up. Luke's head turned over to the one who had asked.

"Yes. But keep it in the night, there've been enough rumors there."

Next to me, Seth stiffened and let out a snarl.

_No, Seth!_, I hissed in thoughts.

Luke's head snapped over in our direction.

It was already too late.

* * *

Author's Note: Okay... Now there's going to be some action. But I'll be sort of busy next days... so please be patient with me :)

I think I'll conclude with Jacob's words from BD: "Waiting for the Damn Fight to start already" ;)


	21. The Fray

A/N: Hey, so there's that chapter I had some trouble to write because my second brain (also known as my sister, Milli-Lily here *hey, milli vanilli *grin* (hey, blame Matze for that!)...uh...sorry to the others. End of OT^^) was on a holiday camp... well, the idea to this chapter has developed in connection of both our ideas. Tribute to her, somehow^^ And... the title of course to a certain band (I won't tell you which band I mean). Uhm... yes, you may believe now that I'm a freak. That's okay ;) Have fun now!

* * *

**Chapter 21 – The Fray  
**

There was a low hiss. Luke stood motionless, probably his enhanced eyes were spotting us clearly, but obviously, he was absolutely clueless as to what he saw.

Not so Stefan. He realized what was going on, and he acted at once.

"Luke, they're werewolves. They're strong. Strong like us, or maybe stronger.", he exclaimed, grabbing Luke's arm. He didn't look at his companion, but kept his gaze on us. The last time we'd met, we had been allied. This time, we stood against him, and he knew it. We could sense that he felt fear while he looked at us.

"No.", Luke said, his mimic changing from shock and perplexity to confidence.

Stefan's eyes darted toward him, prying his gaze loose from his enemies for once. What was going on?

I let my eyes flicker over the assembly of vampires, meeting confusion and tension.

"No.", Luke repeated, relaxing visibly. "There are three of them who are dangerous to me. The others are weaker."

Stefan gasped. "How do you know?"

Luke smiled arrogantly. "I concealed my gift from you for quite a while."

"That's it, attack them!", Stefan shouted without hesitation.

We were frozen at this exclamation. Luke knew that there was no danger to him from the major part of us. And it was too late to take flight. At Stefan's command, the leech army began moving in our direction, closing the distance. We were doomed.

_?_, the others thought, wordlessly, toward me, waiting for my evaluation.

_Too late. Fight._, I thought, helplessly, and felt how my instincts made my body tense.

A second later, each of us was met by the leeches. Three against seventeen.

A fight we could not win. But we had to fight it, nonetheless. I wanted to scream at the dogs to run, but they couldn't hear me, of course. One of the newborns, a female, came forward, toward me. Her arms were stretched out, attempting to crush me if she got to me. I jumped, turning around, coming at her from behind. I sprang up onto her, my teeth closing around her shoulder, wrenching her arm from her body. She tried to shake me off by using her other arm, but I didn't let go of my stealthy grip. There was a screeching sound as her limb was disconnected. I flung it away, lunging at her again, almost deafened by her shriek of agony. The moment I closed my teeth around her neck for a more effective tear, I was attacked from behind me. Ice cold hands locked around my flanks, trying to crush me. I yelped in pain and let go of my prey, struggling for my own life now. I gasped for air, tossing to get free, but there was brute strength in my foe. Just when I ran out of air, I saw a flying shadow going across me, knocking into my murderer. He staggered and loosened his grip for an instant of confusion, enabling me to breathe a new gush of air and wrestling myself free, locking my teeth on the tormentor now. He gurgled as I sprang at his neck, I pushed him down onto the ground, tearing furiously at him until I managed to bite his head off. I'd have dismembered him completely, but I had no time, with a dozen of other dangers around. From the corner of my eye, I saw an auburn mess rising up. Mano, I realized. He had been the one to save me. I gave him a short look, then I went back to fighting for all of our lives. It seemed like the dogs wouldn't bail out, not even if they knew they didn't have a prayer of winning.

I spun around, jumping to the side as I saw one of them coming at me from behind. I jumped right into the other's arms. The bloodsucker tightened his grip on me, but I managed to twist so I could bite down on his arm as hard as I could. He screeched, and I matched his own shriek with the gut-wrenching sound of tearing his stone body.

I had no time to look around me and check the progress – or probably the defiance of my brothers and sisters. I heard Embry's instinctive thoughts, he followed his wolf mind and let it surge through his being. He was counting. Three.

Seth's mind was different. He was all alert to protect Ka Hiwa, who was at his side, trying so hard to help him, but it was useless. I didn't hear the dogs. But the disgusting creatures came at us from every side. From my peripheral vision, I watched as Stefan and Luke came for me.

_Now it's over._

I wouldn't give in without a fight. There was too much to lose. I'd never considered death, even as an escape from the pain. Now, my will to survive was even stronger, now I had so much to live for.

I jumped forward, making the first move, my teeth locking around Luke's shoulder. Stefan flitted to Luke's side, there was a heavy blow to my flank. Gasping and howling, my teeth loosened and I fell down. _Over._

_Leah, get away, I'm at it._, Embry shouted, already sprinting over. Luke was above me, his fist lifted for the final blow. Too late for Embry.

I was scared, but I kept my eyes open, trying to get back up. There was another flying shadow, springing at Luke, but being flung away immediately. The next instant, Embry was there, taking another strike at the leech. But there were two of them, too much for one of us, especially as another newborn approached.

_Embry, watch out!_ I jumped up, ignoring the pain as my crushed ribs already started to heal.

We had no chance. We could delay it as long as possible, but we would lose.

I turned around, seeing Mano fighting against a newborn. There was a sting inside of me as my mind realized he was going to die.

_No!_ Without thinking, I jumped forward, just as the leech was about to get her arms around the auburn dog form. With the force of the movement, I got her down, snapping her neck the same instant, tearing it away with my teeth, while Mano was panting for breath, standing next to me, ready for anything, desperate to save something.

I teared a leg of the creature off, flung it into the underbrush, turning to the rest of the corpse.

"Leah!", Mano's voice shouted. I jerked my head around, but it was too late. I was at the ground, between the leech corpse and two others. One of them was Luke.

He was smiling, though he was tensed for anything. He felt confident, being stronger than me for now. He felt my terror, too, and it made him hesitate in satisfaction.

That was his fault. His fist was lifted again, but he liked his position, so he remained still for a second too long. This time, two dogs flew at his back at once. He shook them off, but it gave me the opportunity to squirm out from under him.

Luke took another strike at me, this time not trying to trap me, but flinging me off with all his strength, making me fly through the air, crashing into a tree. I fell down to the ground. The last thing I heard was the splintering of the wood and the howls of agony, then I felt the pain of the crash, and it all went black.

* * *

_I drifted. There were sounds of fighting, sounds of pain, too much noise. Everything felt unreal._

_A surge, like a strong tide rolling toward the shore, swashing through the forest, making the trees shiver like an earthquake. Crackling, like a fire._

After the sounds, the other senses came back. I smelled smoke. I heard shouts, sounding triumphant, and I also heard screams of defiance. I couldn't distinguish to whom they belonged.

It was dark, but there was a reddish shimmer flickering before my closed eyelids.

It wasn't disturbing, but it was unreal, and I opened my eyes, dazed.

The scene had changed while I was out for I didn't know how long.

There was fire. There were eleven dogs, fighting, and bloodsuckers, trying to retreat.

There was a strange figure, standing next to a pyre, hands lifted in front of him, staring, mumbling something. My eyes got used to the strange reddish light and I recognized Kahuna Makaha.

Was that _possible_? Did my senses run riot, or had he effectively found the clue? Was he doing this?

My head snapped over to where I saw one of the dogs, all but dancing toward one frightened leech creature. He breathed out, and there was a flame coming from his muzzle.

The leech screamed, the flames catching up to all of its body, and as he tried to run away, the dog, whom I recognized as Mikala, jumped at his back, unbothered by the flames.

Impenetrable skin, too. I looked back at the Kahuna, still staring into the fire, mumbling spells.

Everywhere around us, there were burning heaps, held down by tireless dog warriors.

And then I was gripped from behind by choking hands. I yowled out, completely taken by surprise.

The iron grip was around my neck, and I was out of air. I struggled, and there was nobody around.

The Kahuna's eyes turned over. He flipped his hands up in my direction, mumbling another spell.

And suddenly, I didn't feel the grasp tightening on my throat anymore. The hands of my enemy were still around me, but they couldn't crush me anymore. I wriggled free, finding strength again. I twisted, shoving against his body, breaking free finally.

It was Luke. And I watched his face as the confidence of his victory vanished from his face, replaced by stunned fear. I was stronger than him now. My skin was impenetrable, too.

I lunged at him again, taking him down, my teeth closing around his throat this time. He tried to crawl backwards, while I pressed my jaws together, disconnecting his head from the body. Having his scream so close to me was numbing my ears, but it was over soon enough as his head bounced out of sight.

This time, I was more thorough, ripping him to pieces, flinging them into the Kahuna's pyre one after the other.

_Leah! Wow, you're alive._, I heard Embry think.

_Yes..._, I told him, _and obviously I missed the best part..._

_Right._ He laughed. Then he was serious again. _It's over, Leah. Really over._

I felt the slight vibration in the air as someone phased, followed by some others. I'd had my clothes tied to my leg, but as I looked down, there were only a few scraps left. Crap.

I looked up to see Mano coming over in his human form, smiling at me. He followed my gaze and grinned, then he pulled off his shirt.

"Here."

I tried to smile at him as I took the shirt between my teeth carefully.

I phased, and examined the scraps of clothing I still had. There was still enough left of my shorts to wear it, though it wasn't that close to _decent_ clothing. Mano's shirt was big and long enough to cover enough. I gave myself a critical look, then the truth got to me and I giggled out hysterically. The fight was over. And we had won. We had won!

Mano must have heard me, because he looked up and saw me coming out of the underbrush, and came toward me with a questioning look.

"It's over!", I giggled, and then I flung myself toward him. He caught me and swung me around in a cirle, laughing with me. I was slaphappy.

"Yes!", he shouted, sharing my excitement, and we began hopping up and down for a minute, before we were done with our fit, and sober again.

Mano pulled me close, and I breathed deeply. "We made it. Thank you for saving my life.", he told me.

I pulled back to look at him. "You saved _mine_. Two times more, at least!", I protested. "Thank _you_!"

I watched his face as he shook his head, laughing. "Stop being humble."

I wanted to protest, but I was sidetracked by the way his eyes were intent on mine.

And I didn't look away until everyone else was gathered around the one remaining pyre and I felt self-conscious.

Mano just squeezed me, then he let go and we went to stand by the fire.

All of the dog warriors, plus Seth and Embry, were human again, wearing shorts, dressed barely as neatly as I was.

Keli'i stood, his face lit up by the fire. He looked at each of us in his own authority, then he began to speak.

"Brothers and sisters, this is a day that will not be forgotten. By the help of Leah and her brothers, and by the power of Kahuna Makaha."

The assembly broke out into a cheer, hardly being able to keep up the solemnity.

"We're thankful for your help. We have made Hawai'i safe again, and we discovered more of our ability as tribe protectors. We all think of the sacrifice of Hiapo, who gave his life when we did not know enough. Because of our enhanced knowledge, we are able to prevent things like that to happen again. This is a day of celebration."

Despite the grief for the loss of one dog warrior that had been lost before, all of them could take part in the celebration now. All of them realized, once again, that we had won, without losing a brother or sister. We had won.

"Cheers!", Embry shouted, and even the elder members of the dog pack broke out into a jaunty dance. Seth threw his arms around Ka Hiwa and kissed her like he never wanted to let her go, and I looked over at Embry, who rolled his eyes and came over to stand with me.

"Hey, Leah. Real good job. Man, I was afraid for you!" He gave me a bear hug. "Thanks!", I choked and shoved him away. "Er, Embry, I think I've had enough blocking of my airways."

He grinned and let go. I got a few other embraces from my comrades and friends, then I made my way toward the Kahuna.

He looked up when I came toward him, his brows pushing together in suspicion, but then his face relaxed and he laughed a throaty laugh.

"Thank you.", I told him and bowed. "You saved me."

"Yes. I was just in time to save the day.", he answered. "I was surprised myself that it worked – especially on _you_."

"Yes. Wow."

After another half hour of congratulating each other, the first began to depart, changing back into their dog form for the way back.

I felt a touch on my arm and turned around, seeing Mano. I smiled at him.

"Are you coming with me?", he asked, and held out his hand. I gasped, and looked at him. He smiled warmly, still holding out his hand. I reached out and took it, gazing at our joined hands for another moment, before I lifted my eyes back up and saw his smile glowing brightly.

And I felt there was something very new and thrilling lying ahead. I laughed out loud as another piece of my puzzle fell into place.


	22. Passion

A/N: Hehe, the following chapter is one of my favorites... especially the Sam-part. I enjoyed writing it so much it's evil... hope you like it. :) Besides - The idea to that scene came to me when I was listening to "Gives you Hell" by The All-American Rejects... Have fun!

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 22 - Passion**

When I woke, I was blinded by the light. My dreams had been so different, it was all black and red and sort of messy. Fighting, fire, fear... and something else. Something different, after the strain and the fighting were over. Something that was more rosy than fire-red.

* * *

It was dark after we left the fire place. The smell of fire was still in the air, the thick smoke still around us. I coughed and moved faster. Mano held on to my hand and matched my stride. We almost jogged until a gust of fresh air blew through the trees and we had left the battle scenery.

Mano stopped, causing me to stand still as well. Despite the darkness, both our eyes worked just fine. I watched as he breathed in deeply, his bare chest moving as he inhaled the woody scent. I looked at him, just noticing his appearance, seeing him as a man. Amazing. I felt a shiver running down my spine, and I reached out to touch his chest with my fingers. He lifted our interlocked hands around my back and pulled me closer. I sighed, relaxing, leaning into him and feeling save with someone like only Rebecca had made me feel save. Yet, it was so different from being held by Becky. Mano held me, letting go of my hand, but wrapping me completely in his arms.

"I'm happy you're with me tonight.", he told me, whispering in my ear, and I smiled in response.

"Um... do you want to walk home, or should we phase?", he asked, pulling back so he could see my face.

I shook my head, touching his neck. "I'd rather stay here with you for a while."

"Okay.", he whispered, reaching out to caress my cheek. I closed my eyes, but I opened them again to look at him, making sure he was still there, and seeing his earnest gaze, not looking away. He looked at me like... like Sam had looked at me. I stared back, feeling confused. Could that be possible?

In response to the confusion he seemed to feel emanating from me, he let go of me, softly pulling back, but resting his arm on my shoulder.

"No.", I said, without thinking about anything. Why would he let go?

He looked at my face for a minute, as intent as if he tried to see into my soul, into my mind, into my heart.

"Leah?"

I dropped my eyes, staring through the darkness onto the forest floor, before I lifted my head back to his face. "Yes?"

"You're unsure... about me? About... how you feel?"

I still looked at him, feeling unable to answer. But I needed to answer this one.

"No. I'm not... unsure about you. It's... about me."

I saw understanding flicker across his face.

"You're unsure... that I couldn't love you."

I was past wondering how he could read my mind. I nodded slowly. "Yes... I... I don't know if I can be loved... if I myself can be enough to keep someone. I'm... afraid to be disappointed again. I don't know if..."

He interrupted my doubts by putting his fingers to my lips. "Leah..."

I didn't dare to look at him, but he kept searching for my eyes. "Leah, you're a wonderful person. I adore how you are keeping up with everything, your toughness in all of this, and how you can still be so tender in loving the kids and caring for those around you. I wonder how anyone could not love you."

The compliments made me blush, and this time I dropped my eyes.

"Leah, I'm not promising you now that I'm not going to leave you, because I know you're not sure if you can trust a promise that's been broken before. I would, if you could believe I'm sincere, but I'll rather make time my ally to prove it to you."

I felt my stomach twisting, rumoring, as I processed all he said. I wanted to believe, to lean into him and trust again, but there was still fear, there was a corner of my mind that screamed to keep my distance. But that part had already been dwindling, diminishing over the last weeks.

Mano took my hand in his, gesturing toward the way back home. "Shall we go?", he asked, still giving me a probing glance. I nodded, and we started walking. We had enough miles ahead that we could walk in fast strides while having enough time to think and talk.

I was confused, thoughts wandering through my head, circling and spinning. Mano was silent, giving me time to think things through, just squeezing my hand from time to time.

When I looked at the man next to me, I felt lightheaded, thoughts spinning around what my heart tried to tell me – that he wanted to be with me, wanted me. And when I looked deeper, I felt that I wanted him, too. It wasn't rational, and it was strange to discover feelings like that in my so-long vacant heart. But this was what my heart yearned for – to lean on someone, to lean on _him_, to trust that he really meant what he told me, what he wanted me to believe.

There was my mind, however, still providing doubt, and telling me that I was insane to consider just giving up on my doubts and starting a new romance without any cares. It _was_ insane to throw myself into it like there was nothing bad that could ever happen to me. Not only like it had never happened to me, but like it had never happened to anything. Like hurt didn't exist, like I'd never feel alone and disappointed again if I gave in and began this relationship tonight.

And still... that was what I had to do. Trust him, like I'd never been hurt. Trust that time would prove he meant it.

And that _was_ all I wanted to do tonight.

"Mano?" I pulled his hand, standing still.

He turned to me, holding my hand in both of his to encourage me, to assure me all was well.

"Yes.", I told him. "I want time to show that you're being sincere with me."

"Okay.", he said, raising his eyebrows, still questioning.

"How do you want that time? Do you want... some time to think, before you decide?", he asked carefully.

"No.", I replied. This time, he had it wrong.

"I don't want you to leave me alone to think. I want you to stay."

I looked into his eyes and watched as his face stretched into a smile.

"Anytime.", he replied, and I hoped I would learn to believe.

As we walked on, I felt exuberant, glowing. I didn't feel the miles we walked. I felt new, moving onto new ground. And each time I saw Mano smiling at me, I believed it a bit more.

"Leah, we're almost there.", Mano said, breaking the peaceful silence. I halted, puzzled by his exclamation.

He laughed, pointing ahead. "Do you see the porch light at Mikala's back door?"

"Oh." I laughed with him, staring through the trees. We were close to the forest edge, less than a mile from home.

We walked slower, neither of us really wanting to part. I knew I was tired, but there was something more vital here. I moved closer to Mano, squeezing his hand. He smiled at me. We walked in silence until we reached the garden gate. Both of us stood still for a moment, looking into each other's face, until Mano reached out and took me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. Then, hesitantly, I pulled back, causing him to give me a questioning look and to wonder if he had done something wrong. I lifted my face to his, moving closer, charming his worries away distinctively.

This kiss was soft, careful, hesitation lingering in the air as he kissed me back. But it felt good, letting butterflies fluttering in my stomach. When I pulled back, I met his awed gaze. He looked at me in wonder, his gaze so loving and tender that it made the butterflies doing saltations in my stomach. Mano embraced me again, holding me tightly for some time, before he released me.

"Good night, Leah. I'll be back as soon as you want me."

"Mmh...", I said, hugging him again. "I can't wait till tomorrow."

"Sleep well." Maybe he guessed I would have asked him to stay, but we both knew getting some sleep would be a welcome accomodation now. He lifted my chin up to kiss me again, then he let go, opening the gate for me.

"Good night." I smiled at him, watching as he turned and walked away for tonight, the smile staying on my face while I walked toward the house.

* * *

I was still smiling at the memory when I walked to the bathroom to take a shower. Wow. It felt like a dream, and like the best one I'd had in years.

My rosy reverie was interrupted by voices from the kitchen. Many voices. More than I expected in this house so early in the morning. I got dressed and went to see what was going on.

"Morning, Leah."

I staggered back right in the kitchen door. There weren't just Embry and Seth – without his girlfriend, for an exception – but Jacob, Quil, Jared, Paul... the whole pack. Sam. Sam was there, too. I saw him, and I looked away again.

"Hey, guys.", I greeted them and went to the fridge to get myself some breakfast. It was quite low on anything edible, thanks to a very big bunch of werewolves... oh, well. I got myself some cornflakes and sat down, facing away from Sam. Still, I was so much aware of his presence.

Now that he was here, so close, being in the same room, it was harder than when he was far away in La Push. I had a hard time to force the spoon into my mouth, to chew and to swallow evenly. And I was glad Mano didn't have to see me like that. I felt hideous for raising his hopes like I had yesterday. It had felt so good, so right, but now, after seeing Sam again, I felt like I was crumbling again. It still hurt, it had been on the mend, but it felt like the wound was puckering, breaking again.

"...eh, Leah?" Embry gave me a nudge with his elbow, and my head snapped up. I hadn't listened to their conversation at all.

"Um. Yes." I tried to pay attention now.

"We thought we're on our own, and there goes this freaky priest and suddenly, we're surrounded by fire-breathing dogs – amazing!"

I nodded. "The Dog Warriors are great."

Quil grinned at me. "And you called us far too late.", he scolded.

"Sorry. Now you came here for nothing."

"Ah, no problem. I should have visited my sister anyway. My dad was so jealous..:", Jacob grinned.

"'Sides, we just needed to check how you're doing, so far from home."

I shot a glance at Sam, I couldn't hinder it, wondering what he was thinking. When I looked up, I caught him staring at me, too, and I dropped my gaze immediately.

I finished my breakfast without taking part in the conversation, then I got up and walked to the sink to rinse my bowl and the pile of dishes left from the former breakfast with more than a dozen of hungry wolves.

"Hey, Embry!", Collin shouted from the other end of the table. "Now we're here for nothing, will you show us the battle field at least?"

The others cheered, and the whole lot of them was out the back door, yearning for the adventure they'd already missed. The kitchen went quiet, and I started when I heard someone approach.

"May I help you, Leah?"

The voice sent a fluttering through my stomach. I swallowed twice before I tried to answer.

"S...sure."

He grabbed a towel and dried the dishes I was done rinsing.

"How are you, Leah?", he asked, seeking for my eyes, but I kept evading his gaze.

I shrugged. "Fine, thanks." I couldn't hinder the sarcasm to crawl into my voice.

"Are you coming home soon?"

I gasped and wheeled around. "Excuse me?"

"You belong to La Push, Leah."

I turned away from him, pressing my lips together stubbornly, scrubbing at the plates.

"Leah?"

I kept facing away. I wasn't going to reply to his stupid questions.

"Leah, would you talk to me, please? Leah, I miss you at home." He reached out, touching my chin, trying to turn my face around.

I jerked away from his touch.

"Yeah, right. _You_ miss _me_. You're the one to suffer, right?", I snapped, stepping toward him with the knife I had been rinsing still in my hand, dripping with dishwater.

Right now, I didn't feel the love I'd had for him. I only felt rage, even hate. All this time, I'd only had hurt, hadn't hated Sam, but loved him and held on to it. But now, the scenery had changed. _He_ had left me. Providence or not, I blamed _him_ now. Maybe I didn't blame him so much for "_choosing_" Emily over me. But I blamed him, I hated him for thinking he still owned me, believing he still had any right to tell me where I belonged, where _he_ wanted me to be.

"I'll tell you something, Sam Uley! I don't care anymore where you want me to be! I don't even care where you are. Go to hell! All this time, you thought your pity was enough to make this right. In fact, it gave me hell. If you hated me, I would have coped better. But these pretentions about how you cared about me, it was unbearable. Why, it didn't change anything!"

I glowered at him, but my vision was clear. I was in control now, in control of my temper and in control of the situation. For once, I was superior to Sam. He wouldn't push me down anymore.

"Leah...", he tried to placate me, his arms stretched out in front of him, maybe to defend himself, maybe to reach for me. I didn't care.

"Just shut up!", I snapped. "You know what, Sam? You're a stupid jerk trying to control my life, trying to keep me as your property. You chose Emily over me, and yet you still think you can keep me, if not as a lover, as a slave then. You think you owe me _pity_. But you're owing me a fucking four years of my life! Yet you're glad for my suffering, you're _glad_ I haven't moved on."

I paused, taking a breath, a triumphant, evil smile stretching out on my face. I was enjoying his discomfort way too much.

"Well, watch me now as I _am_ moving on! I've got my own life, and I wouldn't trade it for a lifetime of grieving over such a jackass like you are. And if you still think you own me – I hope it gives you hell, whenever you think of me. All this time, I've let everyone else suffer for what _you've_ done to me – except for you. Now, I'll reverse it. Now it's your turn to suffer hell whenever you see my face in your head!"

Sam took a step back, his face twisting in agony. Yet, I didn't feel remorse. I glared at him, watching with pleasure as he processed what I had said.

"Thanks for your will to help out with the pack. But as far as you're trying to help _me_ – I don't want any of it. Sod off!"

I felt my anger puff out and turned to the sink before he could suspect I wasn't comfortable with what I'd said. I heard the dish towel fall to the floor and his steps hurrying unsteadily toward the back door. I even felt the quivering as he ran through the garden, already phasing. And I could tell he would rather be alone than face his whole pack. I smiled in satisfaction, but still, it didn't take long until I started shivering and had to sit down. Despite all the satisfaction of spitting it all into his face and the relief of having it over with, I began feeling guilty now – and, to my own chagrin, I also felt pain. His pain was still my pain as well...


	23. Human

A/N: Hey you, welcome to the last chapter. Hope you like it. Thanks to all who read and reviewed my story, it encouraged me highly. Without you, I wouldn't have finished the story, like I always leave stories unfinished with no one to keep me going. Thanks a lot! You're wonderful!

Besides, I've been watching Eclipse lately. Good film, though a little stuffed and crimped because they couldn't manage to put everything into one film. Well, I'm only writing you this because I wanted to say that the actress they put in as Leah looks quite ugly. Maybe she's exactly right for Leah as she was in Eclipse, but since I got better acquainted with her and found her to be more lovable than they're all thinking, I thought she'd have deserved a better face.

Well, I've said enough. :)

No, I haven't! There's a bonus chapter about Seth's view of chapter 16 on my mind. If anyone expresses interest, I'll write it ;)

* * *

**Chapter 23 - Human**

I didn't know how long I'd been sitting at the table with my head in my hands. I heard the kitchen door crack open, steps hurrying in my direction. The next instant, Mano's arm was around my shoulders. He didn't say a word for a while, he just kept stroking my back and holding me.

After quite a while, I managed to speak up to give him intelligence of what was wrong with me.

"Mano... I gave Sam quite a hard time just yet..."

"Who's Sam? Your... ex-boyfriend, right?", he asked quietly.

I nodded. "I... just told him I wish he might go to hell. I told him I don't want him anywhere in my life anymore. I wanted him to suffer... but... but... his pain hurts me now."

His arms tightened around me. I wondered if he wanted to say something, but he just held me close.

"I... I don't know anymore if it was right to throw it at him like that. I feel so bad."

His hand stroked my face, resting on my cheek.

"Leah?"

I looked up, my eyes filled with tears, but I wasn't ashamed in front of him. "Yes?", I whispered.

"I think it's right. I... don't exactly know what he's done to you. But you have to let go... and let him know you let go."

I sighed. "But maybe I could have done it a bit less hostile... it just burst out like this... and I _wanted_ to hurt him."

"You would have kept the rage inside, then.", he stated quietly.

"True."

I gave up on my composure and leaned into his arms to cry myself out. It lasted a while, and Mano waited patiently until the sobs ebbed and I managed to lift my head.

I got up stiffly and walked over to the sink, resuming the dishes. This time, Mano dried them, and he didn't put questions.

The door opened again. I turned slowly, suspicious, but it was Rebecca with Kaili. Becky saw my mood immediately, but as she looked from me to Mano and back, she felt I had someone to comfort me. I could see she tried to hide her smile. She was happy for me to have found a new life, and that I was beginning to trust in love again.

Becky crossed the room and took my place by the sink.

"Get out already.", she told me, touching my shoulder lightly.

"But...", I started to protest, but she would hear none of it. Shrugging, I backed out the door with Mano taking my hand.

He led me out the front door and we went for a walk.

I was quiet at first, unsure what to say, just thinking to myself how odd life was sometimes. It made me laugh out, causing Mano to look at me, puzzled.

"I was just wondering... just yesterday, our biggest problem was an army of leeches" – I still spoke the word with disgust – "and here I am, a day later, facing only human problems."

Mano laughed with me. "You are human, Leah. Everything about you is so human. The way you deal with all of it, the way you're passionate in love as in hate... I can find nothing inhuman in that."

I smiled. Right now, I felt pretty human. I felt like I was making mistakes.

And I felt hope, hope for my future, even hope that I would someday stand in front of Sam and look him in the eye and say I forgave him. I wasn't sure we could ever be friends. But I didn't care. All I cared for now was my life here.

I stood still all of a sudden, lifting my hands up into the air.

"Wow. I feel so free...", I whispered with a smile spreading on my face.

Mano wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I leaned back into his embrace. I couldn't help but smile at the thought that he was my boyfriend now. A man who was really interested in me, was in love with me, and was there when I needed him.

Still smiling, I turned my face toward him, searching for his lips. I saw my smile mirrored by his as our lips met. Kissing Mano felt good, was an amazing sensation to me. And everything else I'd wanted seemed so distant now...

The guilty feeling about my strike at Sam was vanishing, I felt the sting, but it didn't bother me now. It felt like the clean, fresh air after the thunder storm. I was able to breathe again.

* * *

The peaceful, normal life that followed the events of my first time on the Big Island seemed odd, at first. I got up in the morning, spent my time looking after the kids and keeping the household running, used my free time to meet Mano and did everything a 22 year-old was supposed to do. Maybe I wasn't normal, but I was content. For the first time since years, I had found my place to be.

The packs had gone home, except for Seth, who was going to spend the rest of the summer holidays with Ka Hiwa. After the summer, either he would move here or she would move to La Push. A long-distance relationship seemed unthinkable for them.

I hadn't heard of Sam since, and that was okay with me. I hoped for a day still far in the future for reconciliation, but I was glad I wouldn't have to see him for a while now.

I stayed in e-mail contact with my pack, especially Embry, who had become a very good friend through these times of comradeship. I hadn't phased since the battle, and I was thinking about keeping it that way.

The Hawaiian dog pack enjoyed a time of rest, but they would keep up the patrols so they would be warned in advance if ever there was danger from bloodsuckers again.

Pili was frequently asking questions about all those cool men he'd met and what they were doing. We tried to answer them without giving too much away, though we knew one day he would know anyway.

Normal life as a nanny and housekeeper, while Rebecca was taking more appointments, now I had time to care for the children again.

I let the faucet run to rinse the plates I'd been already doing – so much less dishes had to be done with only five or six persons to take part in the meals. I hummed quietly as I resumed my work, lost in thoughts.

I was in control of my own life now. I didn't know about the future, I knew I should go to college and maybe start a career. But for now, I was content to stay here with Rebecca's family – and with my boyfriend. Every day we spent together, I found myself more capable of trusting him. What we had was a normal human relationship, based on trust and a bond of love that was still delicate, but growing stronger.

There was nothing magical about our relationship. And, as I was glad to believe, there was no concept like imprinting in the Dog Warrior's history. Fate wouldn't take him away from me. I hoped for it to last.

I heard the kitchen door open and recognized the now familiar step. I turned, feeling my cheeks flush as my face stretched out into a wide smile, waiting for him. "Hey."

Mano crossed the kitchen in a few steps and swept me up into his arms. I leaned my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, until he pulled my face up to his and kissed me. I put my arms around his neck, pulling him close, kissing him back intensely.

We both lifted our heads and took a step away from each other as we heard steps coming toward the kitchen door. I was supposed to do the dishes instead of dripping the dishwater to the floor while being distracted. Mano took my hand, grinning at me.

Rebecca opened the door and smiled as she beheld us standing there with our hands linked, right in her kitchen. She never lost patience with us for hardly letting each other go and gladly took Mano in as an almost permanent guest. I guessed she was too happy and relieved for me to be happy again that she didn't care.

"I'm sorry Becky. I know I should have been through with the dishes already...", I apologized.

Mano laughed and sqeezed my hand. "Yeah... but she got sidetracked.", he stated.

Becky rolled her eyes, but she was laughing. "Well, you've got a wonderful help for doing it now.", she teased.

"Oh no! I should have stayed at home, had I known this terrible punishment!", Mano lamented theatrically. I got my arms around him, locking him in place. "Please?", I said, looking up to him with the sweetest smile I could pull out.

"Of course.", he breathed. "Anytime, for you."

He kissed me on the cheek, then he got himself a towel. With a smile, I put up work again.

Rebecca left with another comment on distraction, and we did our task in perfect team work.

"Leah?", Mano asked after a pause.

"Yes?"

"Do you... still want to quit?", he asked soberly.

I frowned, understanding failing to come. "Quit what?"

"Your... protector job as a wolf."

"Oh." He'd known I came here to quit, before that vampire mess came along.

Right now, I felt content, and human. Still, I wasn't sure...

"I'm... frozen in time while I'm a wolf. I'm not aging. I'm not gonna get old with you if I keep phasing..."

While I spoke the words, I already felt the foreboding of outliving him. I didn't want that.

"So you won't be running with me."

I looked at him. "But I will have a normal human life."

He smiled at me, reaching for me to pull me into his arms. "Yes, I want you to be human. As long as you're with me."

I kissed him, before I pulled back to continue. "Still..."

I was stopped mid-thought by a dragging pain in my abdomen. My hand flew to my stomach. I knew it before I could realize it was there. This was a feeling I hadn't felt in four years. I was familiar with the pains that came with menorrhea. I stood frozen as the pain ebbed and flowed again, before it eased and was gone again.

Was that really true? Was I returning to normal after all? I didn't believe it yet, being too good to be true – but I already hoped. Pictures of Kaili flew by before my mind's eye. Pictures of my own child, one day...

"Leah! Are you alright?" Mano's voice sounded highly disturbed and worried.

I relaxed as I leaned into him. "Yes.", I breathed. "Everything's right now."

**The END**


	24. Settling, Bonus Chapter Seth PoV

Author's Note: Okay, for those who want this chapter, here it is. It's quite short, and it's quite drippy... I think, under normal circumstances, this would be far too hurried. But remember, it's supernatural. Maybe it works that way. - have fun with it anyway.

Thanks to all of you who ever read and reviewed this story. Thanks, you kept me going. Maybe I'll be back someday with some other stories, but not this year anymore.

* * *

**Bonus Chapter: Seth's PoV of Chapter 16 – Settling**

"Look what I've found. Look, Seth!", Pili exclaimed, too excited to keep his voice low.

"Scouts are keeping quiet. If you squeal or scream, you'll scare the animals off.", I'd told him. But of course, he wasn't able to. His friend, Keni, was just as excited. I looked over at him and Embry, who were kneeling over something a few yards away. I heard Embry explain how he could distinguish the different footprints of different animals.

I followed Pili to the indentations in the ground that looked like claw prints. Some small forest animal had scratched on the ground.

I suppressed a yawn. Going with the boys grew tiresome after hours and hours of unquenchable energy. Yes, it was interesting, especially in an unknown forest, but by now, my stomach growled and revolted, and I felt a strange pull toward the house that lay a few miles away from here. I needed something to fill my stomach. Soon.

"What is it, Seth?", Pili asked again, more impatient this time.

"Well... what do you guess?", I asked him back.

He looked at it with a highly concentrated frown on his face. "I think... maybe it's a wolf?"

I laughed. "You like wolves, do you?"

He nodded.

"No, I'm afraid it's no wolf. Wolves are much bigger. I suppose it's something smaller."

"Oh. Do you think we'll find a wolf?"

_Sure, _I _can turn into a wolf. Wanna see?_ "No, I don't think so. I don't even know if there are wolves on Hawaii."

"Pili!", Keni shouted, and gestured toward his friend. Pili bounced off. I stretched and yawned, slowly following the boy over to where he and Embry were.

"Hey Embry, let's go home, I'm hungry."

He looked up, then glanced at his watch. "You're right."

"C'mon, guys, we have to get home. It's almost dinner time.", I said to the boys. Reluctantly, they followed, and we started heading home. I had difficulty to keep slow. My body was hurrying toward the well-deserved dinner.

"Seth?"

"Mh?"

"We gotta bring Keni home.", Embry reminded me.

"Oh. Right." I shook my head. Weird. I wanted to get home as soon as possible. I forced myself to turn and follow Embry and the boys down the street, instead of up to the back gate. I'd have to stand my hunger for another five minutes. No thing.

We reached Keni's door and told him good bye, then we walked back home, finally.

The back door wasn't locked, and we heard many voices from the kitchen. I frowned. So many people? Why?

Embry opened the kitchen door and went in. After a moment's hesitation, he greeted. "Hello. I'm sorry for being late. My name is Embry Call."

I came in after Pili and just went down the room to squeeze myself in between two people I didn't know. I needed something in my stomach right this instant. The craving was even stronger now.

I reached for the food, some casserole, and took a big helping of it. Without pausing, I began to stuff it in, without any other thought.

It took me some minutes to realize there was no ease coming from chewing and swallowing, like it usually did when I was dead hungry.

I looked up from my plate and gazed around me. And my eyes were locked in place when they saw _her_.

I forgot how to breathe, how to close my mouth, who I was, where I was... it didn't matter anymore. I stared at _her_, and then she stared back. I noticed the deep blush on her cheeks, and her dark lashes trying to cover her eyes as she tried to look away. But while my gaze never even faltered, she kept trying to drop her gaze, but her eyes always came looking back at me.

I felt a light breeze as something flew past me, then another as something more brushed me in passing. But I never looked away from _her_.

I opened my mouth, but I had also forgotten how to speak. I just kept looking at her. So beautiful... I didn't even know her name, I didn't know her, I'd never seen her before. How could I have, I hadn't even known something of such a beauty did exist.

I'd seen it before, in Sam's thoughts, in Quil's thoughts, in Jacob's thoughts... but this was so much more. I'd heard Jacob's thoughts, how the center of the world had shifted... and he was right, only it was so much more. There _was_ nothing else in the world now. Only _her_, this beautiful girl whom I felt I knew for forever, while in fact I didn't even know her name. But I needed to know.

"What's your name?", I mouthed, hardly more than a whisper.

She looked at me with her beautiful dark eyes for a moment before she replied. "Ka Hiwa."

_Ka Hiwa_. Ka Hiwa. I smiled, maybe it looked sheepishly, but it was only happy.

"And you?", she asked. I wanted her to speak to me forever. I always wanted to hear that voice.

It took me a while to find my voice again. "Seth."

"Oh.", she said, smiling. And then she reached out across the table, her hand reaching for me hesitantly, finding my palm, touching it lightly.

How could this be so unbearably wonderful, getting still better?

"You are a friend of Leah?", she asked in her melodic voice.

"No.. I'm her brother.", I said, only the notion of her interest in me enabling me to form coherent sentences. How could I keep her using her voice? "Do you... live here?", I asked, realizing afterwards how stupid that question sounded.

She laughed, and I felt so lightheaded I thought I was going to faint. She was even more beautiful when she laughed...

"Yes, I do.", she replied. "I have been born here in Hilo, and I've stayed until now. I love the Island, and I'm proud to protect it."

In my mind, her words spun in circles, rearranging themselves to always new shapes. And still, she was smiling at me.

"Wow.", I breathed.

"You're a tribe protector too, right?", she asked, looking at me so intently I had difficulty to think straight, or to think at all.

"I... yeah. I.. I am.", I stammered. If she hadn't gotten sick of me by now, it was close to a miracle. Well, probably it was a miracle, right next to herself being a miracle.

It seemed like I had developed a sixth sense that kept receiving signals from her, telling me she still was interested in me and this conversation.

There was so much in my head, so much I wanted to know about her. I didn't know what to ask first. I wasn't sure if some of my questions were fit to be asked at this point.

She sat there, smiling at me.

I cleared my throat, before I proposed a walk outside the house.

She rose and went around the table to stand beside me. Before I could realize, I felt her touch on the skin of my palm again, as she hesitantly reached for my hand. I glanced at her in elation, holding her hand in mine while I lost myself in her eyes.

I didn't know how long I had stood and stared when she finally gave me a slight pull. "Let's go outside.", she whispered, and I followed her through the front door, out into the street.

We walked silently, holding hands, hers warm in mine like nothing had ever felt warm to me since I had become a werewolf.

Suddenly, she stopped, and the look in her eyes was so serious, yet so intent that my head was spinning again.

"You... you don't even know me.", she stated, and I was all worried at once. But she didn't make a move away from me, she left her hand in mine like it belonged there. Which was what I wanted more than anything in the world.

"I... don't. Not until now.", I confessed.

"How can you... be like this, then?", she asked, turning her head away shyly, yet always returning to my face.

My words slipped out unthinkingly. "Do you believe in love on first sight?", I asked. Oh, what did she do to me? Was that too far?

I watched as her eyes widened for a moment, feeling my body tense to fall down on my knees to apologize if necessary, but her smile returned instantly.

"Yes.", she said. "I do."

And it felt like she didn't have to ask to know how I felt about that subject.

"Are you... are you... afraid?", I asked silently. "I mean... all of a sudden..."

"No. I'm not. I don't know why..." She smiled.

There had to be some heavenly essence to it, something that made the one who was imprinted upon feel trust in the one she barely knew. Something that made Ka Hiwa trust in me instantly.

I reached out, carefully, touching her, searching in her eyes to see what she was thinking. I only saw warmth in her smile...

Slowly, I pulled her close, and she leaned into my embrace, her arms finding their way around my waist.

And I'd never felt so good before. I held her close, while my mind worked to realize that this was real. That she was there, in my arms, and that she wanted to be there. That where she was would be my place forever, as long as she wanted me... my world was settling, building itself around her in amazing patterns, unbelievable to me.

I felt her stir, turning her head in my direction, smiling. And I was lost in that smile again, moving closer to her while her smile kept enchanting me. She stretched herself up to me, and the world stopped spinning as her lips touched mine.


End file.
